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Author Topic: Currently on the 4th disease I think I have..  (Read 218 times)

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Offline Joey8924

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Currently on the 4th disease I think I have..
« on: January 07, 2014, 07:33:34 PM »
So before 2013 was over there was one major thing I was worried about. Lymphoma. Got a CT and the results said there were no dead cells inside any of the lymph nodes which I was told is a good sign. It said it couldn't rule lymphoma out without a biopsy but because there was no dead cells found the chance of having the lymphoma is slim. So then I moved on to about 2 other diseases that I am still concerned about but I have kind of put them in the back of my mind. Now that 2014 is here I told myself I wasn't going to worry as much and try and keep myself calm until my physical in February and then I can have everything checked out. The appointment isn't until the end of February but better than nothing.

Now, about 2 nights ago I was in the shower and I was doing my usual self check and I was checking myself and I didn't feel anything new, however I put myself in a state of panic for no reason. Well I guess the reason being that his all started back when I was 20. The hypochondria all started with the fear of having testicular cancer. I went to 3 different doctors and had 4 different ultrasounds all of them saying nothing was there. Now I guess since it's around the same time of year now when I worried about it 4 years ago has put me in this state of fear. Every single emotion I felt then came back to me a few nights ago and I have been worried about it ever since and I can't get my mind off of it. I really think for no reason that I have it, even though I don't feel anything physically worrisome on my body.

The only thing that is keeping me sane.at least for now.. Is that I haven't really went on a google rampage trying to search every single thing.
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Offline Angelofworry

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Re: Currently on the 4th disease I think I have..
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2014, 12:07:14 AM »
I know just how you feel, every July I get leukemia fears. It's crazy but happens like clockwork. What I have found to be helpful is I refuse to go to the doctor in July. Seriously.  I make a deal with myself that if my symptoms persist into August, then I can see a doctor. I just started last year, and it worked. Also, in regards to your "usual self checking" STOP IT.  Your body will let you know if there is something wrong. Hope this helps!
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Offline LillyVDR

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Re: Currently on the 4th disease I think I have..
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2014, 08:07:12 AM »
Same here... It started with a brain tumor because I noticed my pupils were not the same size. After a trip to the ophtalmology hospital where I was checked by two doctors AND the head of the neuro-ophtalmology departmend and being assured that it was nothing more than physiologic anisocoria, present in about 10% of the population. Having gotten absolutely no relief from this news I took another appointment with another doctor, who confirmed the same thing.

After that found lumps on my back, then after a trip to the emergency room completely in panic, on a sunday morning, the doctor told me they were lipomas. I checked again with my GP who decided to send me for an ultrasound to re-asure me. The ultrasound confirmed the diagnosis, nothing malignant.

For a while I had been vigurously checking my body for anything wrong that I could find. One day I got the feeling that the left side of my abdomen is bigger than the right one. A panic attack and a trip tp the doctor later, I was diagnosed with carcinphobia. It does not make me stop looking at my abdomen with panic!

Lastly, I had a cold, normal considering the weather. Then I saw that one of my tonsils is bigger than the other (no idea if it has always been like that), two trips to the doctor later, and a prescription of anti-anxiety pills later, I am still not conviced that I am fine. What if the doctor missed something, I tell myself. She said the size was not a cause of concern, not in the tonsils, not in the lymph nodes, not in nothing, the difference in size in my tonsils is nothing more than the body's asymetrie, she insisted. Why do I have trouble believing her? Why can't I be convinced? If something was a cause of concern wouldn't she now better than me???

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