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Author Topic: To move out of state,or to not move?  (Read 85 times)

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Offline Momoizkool

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To move out of state,or to not move?
« on: January 07, 2014, 01:07:00 PM »
Looking for some people that may have been in this situation or know someone that has. My husband,my 10 year old and I live in PA right now in a rental home. We HATE the cold. We have lived here in this area all of our lives. My husbands whole family lives very close,but all my family is spread out,hours away. My mom has recenty moved to NC were it is tons warmer in the winter. She wants us to move in with her "she has a very large home" Plenty of room,lots of land. My husband is all for a new start on life,get away from were we are,No work here nothing exciting but drama here. We have been to NC,We do like the area.  My fear is living with my mom. I love my space,I love to be lazy when I feel like it,ect....I have explained to my mom plenty of times about my GAD,but do not feel she really gets it. She is also someone that doesnt hold in hurtful things in her head just blurts them out. We havent had the best relationship like we should,I do want that to change. I just dont know if I can handle living with her,what to say to her for her to really know what i go through. A few months ago i was going through med change and couldnt be alone for a sec with out having a panic attack,now I am doing tons better but anxiety is in full swing the past few days talking about moving.  And she would just tell me to suck it up and do this or that. So I know she really doesnt get it,and this is  I feel is how she says mean things without thinking about my feeling. It is exciting and i would love to get out of the home we are in now,but not sure if I can move to another state. Living with mom. The goal is to move in her home then build our on house on her land after we save up some cash. Might be a year or so before we can do that.  Sorry if i am all over with this question I cant write everything that is going through my mind right now. Anyway...What does anyone think,Good idea or bad idea or hummmm any response to this would be agreatly appriciated.
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Offline Momoizkool

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Re: To move out of state,or to not move?
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 01:09:34 PM »
Also wanted to add with my gad I am a Major worry wort!! I think of mostly bad to come out of everything! I do see the good and positive about it all but get stuck on the negative of it all!! Grrrr So confused!!!!
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Online MobileChucko

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Re: To move out of state,or to not move?
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 02:09:17 PM »
Hi MK...

Well, I can sure understand you wanting to leave the cold behind in Pennsylvania.  I am originally from Ohio, and now live on the Gulf Coast.  I have no intention of ever leaving the Southeast.  And North Carolina is a beautiful state.

Now, when I was married, I had my mother-in-law move in with my wife, stepdaughter, and myself.  She lived with us for four years.  She didn't need to move in with us; she wasn't sick or anything like that.  And I just loved her and we got along famously, but the house never again seemed to me like the home my wife and I had created.  So, this is strictly my opinion, but I wouldn't recommend moving in with relatives, if it can be prevented.  A suggestion would be to get a mobile home and put that up on your mom's property, if that is permitted in her location.  It might take you longer to save-up to build a house, but at least when you locked the front door at night, it would be your husband, son, and you, in a place that was your home.  It would also give you the chance to determine if you want to live that close to your mom, without the expense of building a home and then maybe deciding not.

Just a suggestion for escaping the cold.  The best to you and your family, MK!...  Chuck
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Offline Momoizkool

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Re: To move out of state,or to not move?
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2014, 03:33:23 PM »
Yes a mobile home is an option. We talked about moving in with her till we got one and had it all set up. Who knows how long that would take either. We also had talks about a camper for temp sitution. My husband is more for just living with her saving up some money's then making the next move. It all sounds great when talking about it. Just not sure how my grazy GAD will do! I guess one of my bigger fears is all the negative I am thinking of with the whole move it self. I do want to get away from the cazy weather here. I am just so back and forth on it all,and I am not sure how to make a dission with my crazy mind! hahah! It drives me nuts! I guess you can say I am forgainst it all! Does anyone have advice on making a Big life changing dission with a mind like ours?!!? Any tips on making a clear  dission with no regrets?
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Offline kmoakk

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Re: To move out of state,or to not move?
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2014, 11:03:30 PM »
I am currently 18 years old and lived in SC for my whole life. I recently moved to Tennessee to be with my fiance and it has caused my anxiety to spike. Though more recently I have gotten more adjusted to it. I am living with my fiance's grandparents and they are aware of my anxiety disorder though like you said, they just don't understand it. I think, and have always thought, that those who have never went through it will never fully understand. So I do have my days where my anxiety is horrible and I just want to stay in bed and not be bothered and I feel as though they portray me as this lazy person. It's hard living with someone, especially family who can be some of our biggest critiques, when you suffer from anxiety. BUT you can't let your anxiety win. That's what I constantly tell myself. You have to do what's best for you and your family, and if you feel that moving to NC is that answer then do it. Sure it may be hard at first especially dealing with your anxiety and your mother not fully understanding, but just know (and trust me I know this is very silly to say) but this too shall pass.
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