I am a 41 yr old mail and have been suffering anxiety for the past 6 years. I have been rushed to the hospital twice because I thought I was a heart attack or some fatal episode. Because of those episodes I was advised to see a psychologist and psychiatrist which I did for a period of 6 months and a year respectively. I was put on various meds such as xanor and trepeline and others.
This was all 5 to 6 years ago, I then decided to stop using the meds and stop seeing my psychiatrist. I still suffer from anxiety however it was not as bad as it was a few years back.
For the past few months I have been thinking of death more and more often to the point where it is all I am thinking of. I cannot sleep without a sleeping pill even though I suffer from sleep apnea ( a sleeping disorder which should cause me to sleep rather easily ). Every pain in my body I convince myself that now is time that I going to die. I search for Heart attack symptoms on the net if I feel a pain I start to cough because I read that continuous coughing can regulate the blood flowing to the heart. I do all the online stress tests which shows that I am highly stressed and that just increases my fear and I start feeling that I am at deaths door again.
Last night I did not have any sleep as I was clutching my chest whole night, I have pain in my upper back and chest area, my left arm, neck etc. I try breathing exercises to try and relieve the pain but my mind spins out of control while doing this. It is just one vicious circle. I wish I did not feel like this especially because I have a wife and daughter who sees this.
I am glad I found this forum so that I have an outlet to talk to people that have similar types of issues and understand where I am coming from.
Sorry for the long introduction, but had a very uneasy night.