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Author Topic: Was doing a lot better.  (Read 272 times)

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Offline mollyfin

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Was doing a lot better.
« on: January 04, 2014, 08:11:10 PM »
Hi all...haven't been by here in a while.  I was doing better, getting past or at least through my issues.  When my HA flared I managed to move past it.  But right now I'm floundering.

A while back I was panicked because I had petechiae inside my right elbow and persistent nosebleeds.  I saw a doctor, got tested for everything, was more or less healthy (the "or less" being "you really need to lose weight" - ain't that the truth), managed to use that for a while to tell myself "remember when you freaked out about that and it seemed impossible that you weren't sick?  You weren't.  You're healthy.  This is in your mind or caused by something minor." 

But those symptoms are back and I'm freaking out again.  Looking back over the last few years, January has always been a horrible month for health anxiety for me - brain tumor fears twice over, and probably other things I can't recall off the top of my head.  It's also the month my dad died suddenly four years ago.  I wonder if there might be a subconscious connection there, who knows. 

I also have a permanent pink patch on my right shoulder and these weird little raised patches of skin on my arms, especially the right (I thought they might be warts, but they don't look like them, and what a weird place to be getting them exclusively).  It's not a great time to be my skin.  No itching or irritation, though.  I only notice new ones when I shower.  But trying to put them out of my mind is officially done with.

No idea what to do or how to go back to coping.  I knew a relapse would come, I just hoped it would be farther down the road when I was better equipped to handle it - but I guess these things only happen when we're least ready for them. 
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