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Author Topic: I have to vent.  (Read 217 times)

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Offline JenMarie279

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I have to vent.
« on: January 04, 2014, 12:07:14 AM »
This whole HA thing is really screwing my life up and I wish it would just go away.  I'm afraid that it wont because I have screwed up by googling every disease known to man, and now I know the symptoms of everything.  So, for the rest of my life I am going to be freaked out by every ache and pain that I have.

Also, I keep wondering if maybe something really is wrong with me and it isn't HA at all.  What if I blow something off thinking "eh, it's just your HA" and then things get so bad that it is too late to do anything about it.  I really enjoy this forum, it actually does help me, but then I thought what if I really do get diagnosed with something, there's no way I would come back here and talk about it because it would just freak everyone else out.

I really hate this.  I try to go through a day without thinking about having cancer, but the fact that I have a swollen lymph node under my arm that wont go away keeps me from really enjoying anything and moving on.  I hate that they said it was "benign looking" on the ultrasound.  I know I am going to end up getting a biopsy, which will only lead to more anxiety.  And then what do I do if they say it is cancer?  I am not emotionally equipped to handle something like that.  My anxiety would kill me before the cancer would.

This is so frustrating.
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Offline Lo213

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Re: I have to vent.
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2014, 01:21:16 AM »
I feel the exact same only my anxiety revolves around my heart. It really has stolen my life, and I feel like unless I can somehow unlearn everything I've read about heart attacks and symptoms that I'll suffer from this for the rest of my life.
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Offline arib

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Re: I have to vent.
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2014, 01:24:12 AM »
Jen I know exactly how you feel. B-; I feel like I have a disease or something but then I come here to get reassured that I actually don't but in the back of my mind I'm like what if I do? Like I would freaking lose it ugh. Just thinking about it makes me CRAZY. I prayed for the both of us by the way if that helps. :) :winking0008:
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Online patmob

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Re: I have to vent.
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2014, 07:51:16 AM »
I agree.  What worries me most is that while I know that anxiety can cause all these symptoms that doesn't mean that is actually is causing these symptoms.  To simply say I have anxiety and that anxiety causes a lot of symptoms is logical but can be dangerous if everything is written off to anxiety.  After all, people with anxiety get cancer, heart attacks, MS, etc just like the rest of the "normal" people.

You can't let your anxiety take over and allow you to freak out that every ache and pain is something serious but we also have to be careful not to dismiss symptoms just because some website lists them as being caused by anxiety.

Its a delicate balancing act.
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Offline marc

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Re: I have to vent.
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2014, 09:35:45 AM »
You are absolutely right in that HA can really screw your life up. I have actually had two health issues;
a basal cell carcinoma inn 2008 and an esophageal ulcer in June 2005. Both were taken care of, but it was
still scary. In a years time, I lost my mother, father, a pet and my uncle. Not very good for my HA either.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline marc

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Re: I have to vent.
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2014, 10:41:39 AM »
HA can present itself in many ways, from your perceived health issues, to actual health issues,
or to those health issues around you, whether close to you or not.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

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