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Author Topic: I can't stop self checking :-(  (Read 735 times)

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Offline Angelofworry

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I can't stop self checking :-(
« on: January 03, 2014, 01:53:32 AM »
So I am In a viscous self checking cycle right now. I am doing daily breast exams, which every day I find something. I went to the doctor the other day for a bump in my rectum and bleeding. Doc diagnosed hemorrhoid, (but I'm pretty sure it's rectal cancer) and check on the bump about ever hour. I also have several lipomas in my abdomen. Doc said these are benign and nothing to worry about, but I am afraid they are actually liposarcoma. Also, in my stupidity, I have visited a tanning bed a few times in the past weeks as I am going to Mexico next month. My goal was to prevent a sun burn on vacation, but now I have terrible melanoma fears and am self checking moles twice daily. THIS IS GETTIN RIDICULOUS!!! Yet, I can't stop!! Anyone else have this problem?
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Offline JenMarie279

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Re: I can't stop self checking :-(
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2014, 03:49:29 AM »
I have been constantly self checking, too.  I have several freckles and moles that I check daily, and I swear some of them are changing, even though my DH says they aren't.  I check lymph nodes, too.  I have a couple of lipomas along my rib cage.  My doctor promised me that it is nothing to worry about, but I am convinced that they are tumors even though they have been there for years and haven't grown.  Ugh.
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Offline Gemmaa0207

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Re: I can't stop self checking :-(
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2014, 05:27:23 AM »
I self check too. Not everyday but if I find something slightly different I freak out eg today I'm off to the dentist because I found a lump but it's probs just my tooth u need to rationalise these thoughts and think the most likely explanation for this lump. Whilst I was pregnant I found a grape size lump on my bum and I immediately thought that's cancer but it was just an heamorroid I still suffer with it but I know it's just a pile u can get cream to put on it both interal and external. As for skin cancer fears it's highly unlikely a few sun beds is enough to cause it. Someone would need to be using them daily for years for cell changes to occur. Try not to worry it's good to be vilgilant with your body but you need to find a limit
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Offline hamsterswheel

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Re: I can't stop self checking :-(
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2014, 07:22:18 AM »
I am the same. It is awful.

I make things 100 times worse and then it's sore and irritated and then I freak out!

I have a bad canker sore that was clearing up and then I decided to poke it and dig my nails in and press on it so hard and I was doing this for hours on and off whist watching tv. Well as a result I woke up yesterday and mouth was so sore and the canker sore was huge!!! Today it's gone down again and not as sore so I just need to leave it alone.

I've done the same with my neck. But because my mouth has been my obsession for the last week I have left my neck alone and it's no where near as sore!!!

When I get well, I don't check at all and I do think this helps recovery. But I end up stoppin my meds as I think I'm 'better' and then a few weeks later the scary thoughts creep in and before I know it I am poking and prodding, shinin flash lights in y mouth etc!

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Offline kcg13

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Re: I can't stop self checking :-(
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2014, 09:22:06 AM »
Self checking is my worst HA bad habit.  Esp breasts.  I get a high level of panic before I have to do it and think I feel all kinds of things.  And then I want to keep rechecking just to make sure I didn't miss somethinf or to try to feel again what I felt before to determine if I need to go to the dr.  It is horrible.  I check first then have my husband check then check my "questionable" spots again.  I can tell you my dr said that breasts are lumpy period.  Clearly there is stuff in there so you are going to feel it.  And checking them once a month is all you need to do.  I am sure you heard this before, and I am typing this for myself as well, cancer doesn't just magically grow overnight.  Tanning a few months back isn't going to give you melanoma right now.  You won't feel a spot in your breast daily.  If a Dr checked you out & said hemmroids, then that is what it is.  It won't magically be cancer, it is just annoying.  This is all just a mental thing you have to overcome.  Distraction and putting yourself in situations where you can't self check helps.  Also decreasing the time you self check, over time, helps (today I will check moles 3x, tomorrow only when I change clothes, a few days later, once a day, a week later, every other day, etc.). Hope this helps.
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Our thoughts dictate our emotions .... in other words, how you think is what you will feel.

Offline Angelofworry

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Re: I can't stop self checking :-(
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2014, 12:32:10 AM »
Thanks all for your replies and advice, it really does help!! Unfortunately I wound up back at the doc today, for a breast lump! Shocker there!! As it turns out, all my poking and prodding has caused a breast infection. Or so I'm told. I was given antibiotics and strict orders to not touch the breast except once a week to see if lump is smaller :-/ I have been good all day, but basically out becausey breast hurts so bad I don't wanna touch it, ha!! However this lump and pain have me incredibly anxious - certain it's breast cancer. Doc says cancer is very, very, unlikely
... So scared :-(
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Offline michelle360

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Re: I can't stop self checking :-(
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2014, 12:46:38 AM »
You MUST stop. There is no other way. Find any way you can to break the cycle.
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