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Author Topic: Not sure what to call it?  (Read 129 times)

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Offline Kissa

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Not sure what to call it?
« on: January 01, 2014, 01:18:43 PM »
I'm not sure what to call this and it drives me crazy! I have anxiety/depression. I've had my depression since I believe I was in the 4th grade. The anxiety is new within the past 5 years.

I have this issue. I have been trying very hard to put things back in the place that makes the most sense every time I use them so that I don't have the issue again. But, I am only doing that from a point of about 2 months ago. Things that have been randomly placed are being placed "where they belong" as I come across them. This leads to my issue.

If I can't find an object I freak out until I find it. I always find it somewhere in my house but I tear my house apart trying to find it. MOST of the time its stupid stuff like this time it was my long afghan crochet hook. I looked in the most likely place and didn't find it. So, I sat down, and hubby said to just go and get a new one tomorrow. (They cost less than $10). But the longer I sat here doing other things, in the back of my mind it was nagging at me that I couldn't find it. So I looked in the same place I looked before only a little deeper and did indeed find it.

I've been known to search the house top to bottom room by room until I find something I thought I'd lost. The last big one was a necklace I had received after my nanny passed away. Completely tore the house apart only to end up finding it in the room it should be in.

I was in a major car accident 3 weeks ago. I thought I had lost my pain pills. I have had major back pain and was anxious/pissed off that I couldn't find them. Yeah, if I would have just stopped a moment and realized I was looking for the wrong name of meds, I found the ones I was looking for, in the exact place they were to be.

Then of course, there is always a big sigh of relief after I found a "lost" object. Hubby and I agree that when its stupid stuff, that its silly to worry and freak out over it, but he understands its something I can't really control. I REALLY wish I could figure out how to control that issue... yes, I am getting my house organized one item at a time. But even when its right in front of my face the whole time I don't always see it at first look!

Help!!! Someone please tell me I'm not alone, or at least that they understand!
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Just because I understand an acknowledge what I am worrying about is silly, doesn't mean I'm able to stop worrying about it.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Not sure what to call it?
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2014, 06:13:00 AM »
Sound like a form of OCD to me. May be a mild form. It is taken over your life until you have this / these things you want in the exact place you want them. Any other place won't do at all. A compulsion to have to do things in this way. You can't rest easy until it is done. I don't exactly have any answer about to make things better as I don't suffer from the same sort of thing. But it should be something you should maybe seek help with from a therapist. Learn why it is you feel that things have to be arranged in a certain order / place. Learn how to control it. To not worry over such things. There are answers out there. Plus help out there. It would be worth looking in to.
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Offline Kissa

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Re: Not sure what to call it? Forgetfulness?
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2014, 08:11:23 AM »
Thank you for your reply! I'm not sure that I am ready to actually get help for it.... it only pops up every once and a while. Honestly, its helping me get my house better organized!

I'm thinking it is part of a bigger whole. I don't know how many times in a day I will go to do something and forget what it was. Or why I walked into that particular room in my house. And my husband knows that if its not written down, then I will probably either forget entirely or call him at work and say "what was it you wanted me to do?"

I tend to think that as my anxiety goes up, so does my forgetfulness. I figure if I can put things in their proper place (as I use them) then the next time I go to use them I will know exactly where they are!
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Just because I understand an acknowledge what I am worrying about is silly, doesn't mean I'm able to stop worrying about it.
~One Breath at a Time~

Offline tinam7

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Re: Not sure what to call it?
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2014, 08:23:54 AM »
Yes, focus and writing things down help. You are not alone in this compulsion, insecurity, anxiety, call it what you will. Sometimes don't put things away so I can see where they are. Try to be organized.

Believe this is rooted in a sense of having had little to no control in our life and so we compensate, or try to, in this way. This realization helps me to stay calm and accept that with patience and attention I can control some things. Just some thoughts.
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