Hello everyone, I am 28 yrs of age and 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby, (have had 2 miscarriages in the past) and 'm experiencing relapse of severe anxiety from past 3 months.I developed this problem out of nowhere first in Nov 2011 (got married in feb'2011) consulted a psychiatrist in Jan 2011 and was put on medications - feliz s, ciplar, clonotril and toulaz. I took them for around 2 months and started to feel better, returning back to normal. I was never completely free from it since then but it was kind of manageable. But from last 3 months, it has returned with full rage, I am feeling completely helpless and trapped.
Here are the symptoms that I experience -
Scared of everything, like I am losing control or will lose it eventually.
Scared of maintaining my relationships with my partner.
Feeling detached from surroundings. Can't relate to anythings. As if, I belong to an altogether different species.
Restless mind, constant intrusive thoughts; of doing silly things, smashing things, throwing stuff at others, abusing them, and harming them. very violent thoughts.
No future plans.Abosolute lack of interest.
Anticipate crazy outcome of the events, like I would do something crazy infront of others.I ponder over and over again over everything I say, everything I do, watch all my actions like a maniac.Don't feel like doing anything. cant focus at all. my inner self is never calm.. it keeps reminding me every second that i am not normal. i am going insane and wud end up in a mental hospital someday.
Scared to be with my husband for no reasons, I love him a lot but still not able to manage things. Get irritated easily.
My life is such a mess, I am totally zapped. Scared of taking any medicines as they might harm my unborn baby. Please help. Am I going crazy. Have read lot of horror stories of people suffering from anxiety and this is driving me more crazy. I spend hours and hours over internet in search of relief but I guess this has made the matter more worse. please help me and save my life, I want my old self back. Please tell me if I would ever be cured, or will I go crazy?
Has anyone else has also experienced the same and have got better, please give me some insight on the subject. this feeling is killing me. is there any hope for people like me???