Hello again everyone,
I know it's been some time since I have posted on the site, but things were going well. Unfortunately, it seems it's all right back to the dumps.
I really don't get it. I don't understand how almost a month can go by, we are getting along well, I'm so happy, then poof, just like that, the engagement ring is taken off and I'm the worst person in the world and we are completely incompatible. Literally two days ago, she remarked how happy she has been, how much she loves me, how we haven't been having any issues. We have a small disagreement and wham, "we fight all the time". "Your an asshole". "You are hiding stuff"(not really sure what that's all about as she had no response.). "Your family are all talking about me behind my back" (they aren't and are quite nice to her.) etc etc.
Maybe I should start from the beginning.
Yesterday I was sick with a bad stomach bug that had gotten everyone else in the house, her included, and I was the last. It was horrible to say the least. That same day was a viewing for her friends grandmother. Now my fiancÚ still was not feeling the greatest, our son was still sick, and I was at the worst stage of it. Earlier in the day she said "I talked to <friend with grandmother that passed> and she said that since we were still sick not to worry about coming." I think to myself, thank god because I could really use some help here.
Well, I fall asleep, and wake a couple shirt hours later to her getting ready. I said, "where are you going?" She was getting ready to go to the viewing. Also she told me she couldn't find a sitter so I had to watch our son. As I was in no shape to do so, I said "honey I can't, I feel like I'm dieing" so she said she would just take our son. He is 18 months old, and still not feeling well. I told her I don't think that he should be taken to a viewing as he is so young and he is still sick. This is when she started getting angry.
Anyway, she called her mother(who also was I'll with the same bug) her mother said she was feeling a but better so she supposed she could watch him for a little bit. When she told me her plan, I said "honey, please I feel horrible, I could really use your help here." (When she was real sick the day before, I took care of her and my son all day. Checked her temp constantly, kept her with fluids, crackers, anything she needed. Only took an hour and a half while her and son napped to shovel the drive of the 10 inches of snow we got the night before.
Somehow, that meant to her that I was saying she wasn't allowed to go to her friend's grandmother's viewing. Even though I made sure to say that instead of going to the viewing, please help me and go to the funeral tomorrow. Well, she got extremely pissed. Started telling me I was insensitive, a jerk, I was controlling, etc. a good 45 minutes of just verbally laying into me before I begged her to stop and just leave me alone. It sucked, a lot. So, she went. Didn't come home until 9:30. When she did, she was still pissy. I went to sleep for the night and hoped it would pass.
Unfortunately this morning, when she woke, she was still angry and looking to fight. She started telling me that her friend was like a sister and I have no right to tell her she can't go be there for her. I kept trying to explain that I wasn't trying to do that, I was asking her to be there for me, and for her friend at the funeral. (I understand that may be a selfish thing on my part, but I was extremely sick.). The more I tried to explain the more angry she got. I could see the anxiety take over and just turn her into a monster. She started saying horrible hurtful things about me, my parenting, my parents, everything. She said she was leaving. I was so taken back all I could say was what was on my mind. "What kind of fiancÚ does this?" That's when the ring came through the air.
Anyway, I left for a bit to let things calm down. I bought some parts for her car that it needed (plugs/wires) and headed home. I spent a couple hours under the hood, took it for a test drive, and put gas in it. When I came inside, she was acting quiet. I sat down and started playing with our son, not really sure what to do. Soon after she said "so what do you think? Is it over? Are you done with our relationship?" Obviously I was still hurt, so I told her that I don't want to see it end, but being treated like this is terrible. I told her that the things she said were inexcusable. She apologized for what she said about my family, but I could see her expression starting to change. I could hear her voice speeding up. I kept my cool and did my best bit to feed it but to stand my ground about how she treated me. Ended with her telling me I'm an asshole again, she can't talk to me. I'm the reason for her anxiety. And she left for a drive.
She just returned as I was feeding our son. Said she took 1.5 Xanax and said she didn't want to talk, I'm not allowed to talk and that I shouldn't ruin it for her. She made a comment about leaving for good, so I asked if that is where it was at. She said that she didn't say that.
I am so damned confused. Hurt. Sad. Just generally wtf.
Can anyone make any sense of this? Is it really her anxiety causing her actions? Does it make you forget every promise you've made and just blame others? Or should I just give up?