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Author Topic: Pretty sure I have melanoma  (Read 1025 times)

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Offline Nurse86

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2014, 03:00:41 PM »
I had a lymph node behind my ear and was referred to a specialist whom said it was nothing. I freaked out. It was from a previous infection and stayed hard for a few years. I'm healthy now still. As far as your mole goes; I had a suspicious one for years and have a family history of melanoma so I finally had it removed 6 months ago. It had moderate atypical cells so no more sun for me but just understand that a mole is not just safe or cancer. There are many different stages for moles and being a nurse; I doubt it's something awful if it has persisted this long and you have no cancer symptoms. Best of luck; you'll be fine :)
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Offline Koth1989

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2014, 10:05:53 PM »
Thanks a lot, guys. Ire ally appreciate the support. It means the world to me. I've been feeling a ton better mentally but still quite apprehensive. Tomorrow my goal is to make sure that I get some type of testing done to give me a 100% definitive answer. Part of what is hard to deal with is when the doctor checks out the lymph node and says "not cancer but could be this or that". I can't handle a "could be"! If its not anything serious, I need a definitive diagnosis with evidence otherwise the possibility of something serious still weighs on my mind.
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Offline Koth1989

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #12 on: January 02, 2014, 02:59:49 PM »
Just left the doctors office. Kind of a dead end again with a twist.. Had her look at the mole and she said it looks fine. Then she goes and looks at the lymph node behind my ear and notices a mole on my scalp above it. Gotta be kidding me. She then tells me that she's pretty sure it's just a normal mole but that she's going to get me a referral to dermatology anyways. Obviously now I'm freaked out, big time. I asked that since the node has been swollen and hard for so long if we could image it or take it out or do ANYTHING, to which she told me no. We have to leave it for another 2 months and not touch it and if its still there, she will refer me to a surgeon. She's also Rxing me allergy meds to see if that's the cause.

So here I am.
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Offline tiredoflivinginfear

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #13 on: January 02, 2014, 03:56:33 PM »
I could not sympathize more about the "could be this or that" part. I absolutely hate it when they get there.
Like you, I need a 100% ruling out of life-threatening problems.

DO go to a dermatologist and talk to him about your need to know for sure.

I myself have just returned from the gastro doctor. I was secretly hoping for him to brush it all off and say that it's just anxiety or something, but instead he said that I may have had reflux for years and not know it and that he will want to do an endoscopy. I was going to insist on one anyway but the fact that he considered it so readily bothered me.
He said the risk for the "C" word in my esophagus is very low for a female my age (just turned 41) - but that does absolutely nothing to help me. 
I cannot believe that someone can have reflux for so many years and not know it.

I have to wait until Monday for the endoscopy and the wait is horrific.
Si please go to the derm - not because I think it is serious but just so they can rule out everything for you.
Normal people can't even come close to understanding how torturous the uncertainty (even 0.01%) can be for a hypochondriac.
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Offline Koth1989

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #14 on: January 02, 2014, 04:14:08 PM »
Thank you! I just saw a doctor at the mental health clinic and while speaking about my issue, he palpated the node and said he wouldn't even be concerned with it. I still have to go see a derm to check out the moles but I'm feeling much better.

I would just like to say: what an unlucky SOB I'd have to be for 5 different health professionals to miss cancer from my complaint about the lymph node. As well as being severely depressed about a cancer diagnosis, I imagine I'd also appreciate the comedy in the whole debacle.  Seriously, I've seen 5 doctors. I need to chill.
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Offline Koth1989

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2014, 11:55:09 PM »
Guys, PLEASE help me out here.. Every resource I can find says that a hard lymph node of duration longer than a month needs to be biopsied to rule out malignancy. Seriously, it appears that this is the case everywhere I look, yet the doctors are not concerned. Am I receiving irresponsible care, or am I missing something here?!
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Offline JenMarie279

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2014, 03:56:00 AM »
I had a melanoma scare a few months ago.  I had a few scary looking ones and the dermatologist had NO bedside manner.  He looked at them closely and said "Hmmm" and I was like "Is it melanoma?" and he said "It looks like it might be" and I instantly lost it.  Luckily it turned out fine.  I'm sure yours is fine, too.  Good luck!
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Offline Koth1989

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2014, 01:42:24 PM »
The situation is putting tremendous strain ony relationship with my wife. I constantly have canker sores. I just want this fking bump off of my head. I'm tired of dismissive, irresponsible doctors telling me its "nothing". Obviously it's SOMETHING because you can see and feel it. So give me the time of day and tell me why it IS. Making another ENT appt today. I will demand they biopsy it. Can't deal with this BS any more.
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Offline tiredoflivinginfear

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #18 on: January 03, 2014, 02:19:41 PM »
The situation is putting tremendous strain ony relationship with my wife. I constantly have canker sores. I just want this fking bump off of my head. I'm tired of dismissive, irresponsible doctors telling me its "nothing". Obviously it's SOMETHING because you can see and feel it. So give me the time of day and tell me why it IS. Making another ENT appt today. I will demand they biopsy it. Can't deal with this BS any more.

I agree with you.
The reality is contemporary doctors are forced to operate in an era where increasingly more patients are no longer passive things that don't know a thing about the human body and just lay themselves at the doctor's feet like in front of a God.
I agree some of these patients can be very annoying and tiring to a doctor because they will challenge, make special requests, refuse some treatments and demand others instead, come back with information from the Net and ask for complete reassurance it is NOT X, etc.

I understand this can be a very frustrating reality for practitioners - but it is what it is. Patients are humans beings with emotions too and some of us, hypochondriacs, can become so distressed that our states can require sheer mercy in certaoin situations.

So between the feelings of a doctor frustrated for having to deal with a difficult patient and the feelings of a scared-out-of-his-mind, vulnerable patient - I would deem it right to grant relief to the latter, not to the former.

So yes - go out there and insist you get the biopsy!! 
Worse comes to worse tell them you will pay for it, whether the insurance covers it or not  - you simply want it done.

To give you an example...I had a somewhat similar situation earlier this summer with a gynecological problem and I eventually had to solve it the "forceful" way.  This might be a bit of TMI, especially for guys, but in the world of hypochondria, TMI is probably the last thing anyone cares about. 

I went to the gyno because my period had arrived abnormally early and I also had some irregularities with the way it looked. On this occasion, the idiotic doctor thought it appropriate to also do a routine Pap smear, since I was in the office - so might as well.
I had heard that it is not OK to do a Pap smear while a woman is on her period, let alone an ABNORMAL one, so I questioned them about it.
They shrugged it off saying that the "latest technology" is smart and can easily distinguish between blood cells and abnormal cells. 

They called me later with abnormal results (atypical squamos cells - ASC-US). I probed frantically and it turned out this was the first stage of abnormality which means "we don't know for sure what these are, but there is a possibility they might progress to pre-cancerous or cancerous cells in the future").

It was simply an "We don't know, something's up - come back in 6 months again".
Which is exactly enough to send a hypochondriac into sheer, delirious Hell.

I went back and I asked about having the test repeated because it had been done at the WRONG time of the month - and that was a fact.   
The gyno did not want to do it right away and told me to wait a few weeks/months. I went then to my GP, and he said the same crap about the technology being good and if I was going to repeat the test now chances are it would come back the same...and then, the insurance company will start thinking I am a hypochondriac and won't want to cover whatever - and why don't I wait?

I said I am willing to pay for the darn procedure on that very day - both the dr. and the lab, I just wanted it repeated. Then he said he doesn't want to take my money for nothing and I had to tell him I am OK with it.

I knew in my heart of hearts it must have been from the imbecility of doing a Pap mixed with blood cells - great "technology" or not.
All of my previous Paps had been perfect, I had been in only 3 relationships my entire life, the relationship with my husband of over a decade has always been 100% loyal on both sides, the HPV had been tested and it was negative...so I just wanted the darn test done on "clean ground".

The GP finally accepted but told me not to be disappointed if it comes back the same because if this was something the body was going to fix itself, it would need a few good months.  I said I will deal with it -  but I want the test.

They did it - and days later, the nurse leaves an exhilarating message on my voice mail saying "we are so, so excited to give you this good news and be able to tell you that your Pap test came back perfect, absolutely no trace of problems, no need to come back, just follow up with the yearly routine".

It took some pushing - but it gave me tremendous relief, that no counselor and no antidepressant in this world would could have achieved.

So I learned sometimes we just have to PUSH - at the risk of being annoying or even snapped at.

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Offline Koth1989

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Re: Pretty sure I have melanoma
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2014, 04:21:52 PM »
Thank you so much!!! I'm going to have the procedure done come hell or high water. It's the only way I will know that nothing is up. It's my body and I refuse to take the physicians gamble that its "probably" nothing, to wait 2 months and if it gets worse to take it out and find out I wasted 6 months. I'd rather have the operation done, and have the doctor prove me wrong and laugh in my face and call me a hypo. I don't care. I just want to know that it's nothing, 100% not "probably"
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