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Author Topic: Former Member Returning.. Meet, Mel. He's about to go insane :/  (Read 191 times)

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Offline Auvrea

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Former Member Returning.. Meet, Mel. He's about to go insane :/
« on: December 25, 2013, 05:56:56 PM »
Dear, whomever might be listening (Well reading). My name is Melvin. I'm 20 and I've been suffering from the worst anxiety of all time since this all began 3 years ago, today. Today I was asking myself, am I really having a heart attack, or what else could it be?(Note: First panic attack in about 8 months). So what did I do? I dropped to the floor, did 25 pushups, 25 situps, 10pullups. Seemed my heart wasn't about to explode.. Weird. Because it sure as hell felt like it was going to.

I woke up this morning, Christmas Day, to find myself in a state that i cannot even begin to describe.. It was horrifying.. I woke up, everything was a blur, my face hurt, my legs hurt. Vision wise, everything was cloudy, feeling a little unreal, that weird sensation you get when you feel like you're in a dream, sadly I wasn't though. Every minute I felt worse and worse, but I put a smile on, and enjoyed the time around my family for once. I couldn't help but to sit there and think about my anxiety.. Which of course made it a thousand times worse.. Ugh.. I just wanted to have a good Christmas..

Things stressing me out; I Just moved from Oregon to Arizona, about 3 months ago, still haven't found a job here. My dad has a minor surgery tomorrow, which I really don't think is causing my anxiety, it could be effecting it, but the cause? nah. I wanted to join the Air National Guard. But i know that's pretty much impossible with my anxiety, nice wish right? lol.

Ugh.. Anyways.. I'm about to hit rock bottom again.. And just like last time, i need some help here guys :/ A few weeks ago, I had a sore throat so i went to the doctor and my blood pressure was 165/102 which is bad.. I've had this anxiety and stuff for 3  years straight.. My blood pressure spikes like that, especially around doctors. She didn't seem to be worried so I'm not worrying about it to much.. Well I am actually :/ It's driving me insane.. Which is causing it to spike more.. My anxiety has been like this for 3 years. Every few months, i'll catch an amazing break and i'll be okay for like 6+ months.. Then something happens and this whole thing goes crazy again..

I just don't know what to do.. I feel so helpless and like i'm going insane.. I don't want to loose myself.. :'/ :dazed: :spineyes:
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Former Member Returning.. Meet, Mel. He's about to go insane :/
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2013, 05:46:46 AM »
You know your body and mind better than I do. Do you think when you visited the doctor and say the high BP read out that you were reminded of your anxiety? As in, that was always a symptom before. This time you were like that because of a sore throat. Only we tend to tell ourselves ' not this again ', thinking anxiety instead of illness. Loads of people who do exercise think their anxiety is bad when their heart speeds up. They make the link straight away instead of thinking the obvious. Exercise makes the heart beat faster. Illness can make the BP rise. But if it was always a common symptom of your anxiety you latch onto it straight away. Start thinking anxiety all over again. Before you know it you are back in a state of anxiety. You did also move. That can add stress. Looking for work can add more stress too. But you have got passed this before. If you beat it once you can beat it it a million times. Just try and remember what you done the last time around. Use the same tactics. I have setbacks from time to time. The only thing I know is to keep pushing forward. Just a way of saying to the anxiety ' you are not going to get the better of me '. I know it can be hard. Few bad weeks. Rough weeks. Just have to believe in yourself. It can be done.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

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Re: Former Member Returning.. Meet, Mel. He's about to go insane :/
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2013, 10:41:21 AM »
Hi Mel...  So sorry to hear what you are going through; you are not alone, though, and I'm in the boat with you.  Some four years ago, the first panic attack that I ever had, occurred.  I was felling irritable, and couldn't fall asleep.  It got to be 1 am, and I decided to take my blood pressure.  It was 210/110.  Well seeing that really put me over the edge.  I figured I would have a stroke at any moment.  My sister and brother-in-law took me to a local hospital emergency room.  The next day my regular doctor admitted me to the hospital for tests.  And so my path down anxiety avenue, began.  It seems like every time I fall into the anxiety pit, it starts with a panic attack, and my blood pressure going through the roof.  One thing that I now do for myself is that I no longer take my blood pressure, as that just adds to my anxiety.  I understand that acceptance of the symptoms that we encounter, is one of the keys to living with this condition.  Not an easy thing to do, but I do know that it breaks the fear-fear cycle.  What are you doing for your anxiety?  I see a psychiatrist to manage my care.  I was started on a new anti-depressant some 4-5 weeks ago.  I am also scheduled to start CBT (therapy), the end of January.  I hope things get better for you.  The best to you, Mel!...  Chuck
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Offline Manuel

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Re: Former Member Returning.. Meet, Mel. He's about to go insane :/
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2013, 11:01:32 AM »
Hola Mel I feel you as we'll it has been a huge change in my life I've never felt this in my life but It started in April of this year, I had my first panic attack and thought I was going to die, I called 911 and for them to come get me. They did an EKG on me and some blood tests and said everything looked good and to follow up with my doctor to find a medication that would work for me. I took .5mg Xanax for my anxiety. I have drank alcohol for about 15 years or shall I
say abused. I slowed my drinking down quite a bit, meaning just beer. I used to drink a pint of Seagrams Seven a night. I continued to have anxiety so I stopped drinking so I started feeling sensations around my liver and kidneys and numbing in left arm, tingling, cold sweats, shortness of breath. I thought I was dying internally. So I went back to my doctor and had more blood work done, they checked my thyroid, diabetes, lymphnodes results came back that everything was great. My doctor says it's just the anxiety. He prescribed me some anti depressants. I am a person that hates taking medication!! I took half of the medication which was 20 mg of citprolam, I think thats how it's spelt. Anyways it gave me double the anxiety so I did not take anymore. I made an appointment to go do acupuncture, it made me feel more relaxed which was good but 30 min after I was done (boom) anxiety again. I continued to go for another 2 mo. I thought I was getting a bit better cause I did not take any Xanax for 4 days. All of a sudden I had another panic attack and went to the ER. They did EKG, took blood, and checked blood pressure. Results came back great. So at this moment I'm angry, frustrated, tired of the sensations, heart attack feelings, shortness of breath. I started taking Xanax and  going right to the gym to work out for about a couple weeks. I felt better at the gym but again when I got out I felt the anxiety again. Soooo depressing!!!!
About a month ago I went to get a stress test on my heart cause I was getting really really really worried about theses sensations. I'm having a lot of negative thoughts continuously all the time. Well I did the stress test on my heart and results came back that everything is great. So for the past month I've been feeling this heart burn/ throat burn sensation. Doc perscribed me with Prilosec. It doesn't work. I am so stressed and depressed. I have these dying thoughts a lot. I just got perscribed Paxil and Lorazepam. Now I'm seeing a physiatrist. She says it's just anxiety/ panic disorder. But I hate these uncomfortable sensations. Any one feel me on this. I feel alone. Oh and I got an X-ray on my chest cause I thought I felt cancer or whatever on my chest. Results came back that everything is normal. This is all new to me.  It has been a journey I try to stay as positive as I can. We can do this!!! :happy0151: ;D
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