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Author Topic: Disappointing Everyone  (Read 181 times)

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Offline sgreens1

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Disappointing Everyone
« on: December 23, 2013, 07:09:51 AM »
I went to school to be a dental hygienist. It's been 7 months since I graduated, and finding a job has been very difficult. I do sometimes get work through a temp agency, where I fill in for hygienists if they're sick, on vacation, etc. I was supposed to fill-in today, but I ended up telling the lady that I'm sick and can't go. I'm terrified to work. I have crazy anxiety all of the time. My husband and parents are getting mad at me, and I'm disappointing myself too. I have opportunities, and then I let them slip away because I have a panic attack and feel like I can't do it. Even with Xanax, the anxiety is overwhelming. I get physical symptoms too. My stomach cramps horribly, I feel like I am suffocating. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not suicidal, but sometimes I think if I wasn't married and didn't have my husband, I would welcome death because I wouldn't have to feel this anxiety all of the time. The worst part is knowing that it's completely irrational...but still not being able to overcome it.
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Offline AncientMelody

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Re: Disappointing Everyone
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2013, 08:57:18 AM »
:( It is very difficult. Bad enough to have the anxiety and worse yet to blame yourself. Are you seeking help? That's your first step. Consider a therapist, even if you're not ready for that, get in to your primary medical practitioner. Everyone has to start somewhere. Are your husband and parents aware that you're suffering from severe anxiety? If not it's time to sit down with them and explain what's going on. If you have and they aren't understanding, perhaps having your doctor print something out for them or bringing your husband in with you at your appointment will help. It's tough. I imagine that the type of work situation you're in is adding to the stress....going days or more without work then being notified at last minute, going to an unfamiliar office. That would stress me out to.  I wish you the best. We're here for you and we understand what you're going through.
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Online tinam7

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Re: Disappointing Everyone
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2013, 09:13:35 AM »
Remember you are new at your work and so want to be easy and compassionate on yourself. The fill-in work may actually be a good way to gain experience and confidence. It is a tough job market for just about anyone. Praise yourself for getting your training, learning a good profession and do not lose hope of finding the right position for you.

You may want to see a therapist to help you get a handle on the anxiety. Maybe some mild meds, maybe CBT, maybe a support group, etc. There is help and you will improve. We are cheering you, are here for you.
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Offline sgreens1

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Re: Disappointing Everyone
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2013, 09:30:46 AM »
I just started seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, and I'm on medication, but I don't think the meds I'm on are helping (except Xanax). My family is aware of my anxiety, and most of the time they try to be supportive, but now they're getting to the point where they don't know what to do with me. My husband is frustrated with me because I end up not going to interviews or the temp days in a dental office. I'm hoping he doesn't end up giving up on me. Thank you for the kind words, it's nice to know I'm not alone.
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Offline MobileChucko

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Re: Disappointing Everyone
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2013, 10:09:00 AM »
Hi SG...  I was glad to hear that you have started seeing a psychiatrist, and a therapist too.  You indicated that you "just started seeing" them, and was started on medication.  What medication were you started on, and how long have you been on it?  If it was a SSRI such as Celexa, Lexapro, Zoloft, and Prozac, to name a few, these medications take time to work.  Normally you will see degrees of improvement, between 3 to 12 weeks, after reaching a therapeutic dose.  I was started on Celexa some 4-5 weeks ago, and am just starting to do better.  I am glad that you have shared with you family, your problem with anxiety.  Consider taking your husband with you to at least one of your psychiatrist visits and therapy sessions so that he can better understand your condition and what you are going through.  You have a physical condition, no different then a diabetic.  Anxiety is not something that has to deal with willpower, or just pulling yourself up by the boot straps.  You are among friends here on AnxietyZone, people that are where you are and understand.  You have accomplished much; focus on that, on the positive.  The best to you!...  Chuck
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