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Author Topic: Why is it so hard for me to trust my doctors?!  (Read 316 times)

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Offline Brooke2288

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Why is it so hard for me to trust my doctors?!
« on: December 16, 2013, 07:08:02 PM »
I have had a huge lymphoma fear for about 5 or 6 years now. I am obsessed with feeling my nodes and I always think they are swollen. I have had doctors feel my nodes so many times and they are never the least bit concerned. I have recently been feeling my groin nodes and I have been freaking out because I think I'm feeling very swollen nodes. I feel many of them and they are long and rubbery...not round. I am almost 22 weeks pregnant with twins and last week I had an OB appointment. I asked my OB doctor to feel them and she felt around the area for awhile and said "those are just your lymph nodes". I'm thinking that she wasn't talking about the long things I am feeling because if she thought those were nodes I'm guessing she would have been more concerned. Maybe I'm feeling tendons? Or a change in fatty deposits from my growing belly? She felt my whole groin area and wasn't even worried one bit. She also said that you don't need to be concerned with them unless they get very large...and here I was thinking mine were pretty darn big. I was so relieved when I left there last week and now the cycle is beginning like it always does. I believe my doctor for a few days, and then I start to question everything that they said. Someone talk some sense into me...I'm sure an OB doctor that probably feels and sees groin lymph nodes all the time knows more than me....all I know is what I've read on google!  ::)
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Offline Brooke2288

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Re: Why is it so hard for me to trust my doctors?!
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2013, 08:42:08 PM »
anyone else feel this way?
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Online rileybug

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Re: Why is it so hard for me to trust my doctors?!
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2013, 09:16:45 PM »
i also have alot of health anxiety-due to odd physical symptons.  I get so tired of docs  always write it off to anxiety-and try to give out meds.  I just need stuff ruled out-so i can deal with the anxiety notjust take meds.  i'm not a big fan of docs(except my daughter of course)
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Offline burgundyplace

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Re: Why is it so hard for me to trust my doctors?!
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2013, 01:02:48 AM »
I find doctors hard to trust because I feel that they missed something or they just want to move on with the next patient.

One of my first HA scares was lymphoma. There was just a month that I could not stop poking the right side of my neck because of this swollen thing I had. It was so bad -- even my friends kept asking why the hell was I poking my neck. Of course, I couldn't share it to them easily as they might not understand.

I finally went to a specialist, an ENT doctor. He poked it and said it was a laughable lymph node that I should not even bother poking at. He even found a lot of lumps on my body just by touching it but he was not concerned a bit because he definitely thinks it's nothing serious.

Trusting our doctors is a challenging feat. But eventually, we can learn how to do it.
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Offline PhreakOvNature

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Re: Why is it so hard for me to trust my doctors?!
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2013, 02:44:02 AM »
I do not trust my doctors, period. I have A LOT of lymph-nodes that I can feel in my neck region, all around 1cm/pea-sized (give, or take.) My CT-scan said that there were no enlarged lymph-nodes detected. However, I can feel them. They are there. They are not exactly hard, but rather rubbery & mobile-ish. I felt my Husband's neck tonight because I wanted to see if everyone has lymph-nodes in their neck that they can feel. I only found one on him, if it even was a 'node. I also have 7 thyroid & lung nodules, so... I worry about a possible spread of "you know what." I am 23. I hope to live to be at least 90, longer if possible. I worry about everything, though. EVERYTHING. :(
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"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn... my God, do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." - Master Yoda

"Everybody lies." - Dr. Gregory House

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Offline Venomsoar

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Re: Why is it so hard for me to trust my doctors?!
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2013, 03:23:14 AM »
I don't trust doctors as well. This is our anxiety speaking though. One thing you should remember though, and when I read this, it really helped me, is that doctors have had years of education and training - you have perhaps spent a few minutes reading a little online - or maybe you have read a few articles, maybe a little from a book etc. so to trust your own judgements over a doctors is rather irrational when put into this perspective right?

But this, of course, does not mean that you are wrong and doctors are right - in those small number of cases, doctors have sometimes got things wrong but this is very unlikely. You should always of course persist if you do really think there is something seriously wrong with you.

But if you cannot trust a doctor, then who can you trust? Having tests does not cure our anxiety - ultimately. If anything, you are only giving yourself temporary relief from the bigger problem, which lies in your thoughts.

I'm not expert though - so don't take my word.
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Offline Brooke2288

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Re: Why is it so hard for me to trust my doctors?!
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2013, 06:14:46 PM »
I don't know why I can't let these nodes or whatever I'm feeling in my groin go...My OB doctor said that all she felt were normal nodes but I feel some longer things in there, which hopefully aren't nodes. I wish I could just let it go and be satisfied with what she told me, but of course I'm still obsessing over it...
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