Since this is my first winter dealing with anxiety, I've been worried that it would get worse as the weather declines (because I HATE being cold, the ugliness of winter, everything about it). It seems that it hasn't gotten much worse, but there are so peculiar new symptoms I'm having. For one, there are certain times of day (mostly as the sun starts to set which is around 4pm these days!) I get really anxious. I start to feel very uncomfortable and just plain weird- I can't even describe it. The feeling goes away when it gets completely dark outside, as weird as that is. Does anyone else experience this weird feeling? I don't know how to put it into words. The closest thing I can relate it to is derealization, but I'm not exactly sure if that's what it is. It's a very vague, anxious feeling.
I am also still having some trouble with obsessions. I have some very terrifying obsessions- the fear of killing myself and the fear of randomly becoming violent, neither of which have ever crossed my mind in my life until I started dealing with anxiety. They have spurred a fear of guns (I live in an area that is very rural and people are very attached to their guns and embrace them as self-protection and "going shooting" is a recreational activity), because I am afraid I'll randomly pick one up and do something rash that I DON'T WANT TO DO. It makes my heart race just typing it out. I don't think about them often, but I can barely read or hear the news because there is always something negative to hear about guns or someone going crazy and things like that. I hate to admit it, but I'm even afraid to watch movies that have a hint of violence in them for fear that it will somehow influence me so much that I"ll become violent like that character?! Isn't that silly? I know it is, but I can't bring myself to go see "Catching Fire" because I know there will be a lot of violence and killing in the movie (even though I loved the books). I have found myself avoiding negative news, negative stories.. anything negative or that could produce a negative/sad feeling in me.
Does anyone else battle these same issues or similar ones? I know that when dealing with worry, you're supposed to imagine the "worst thing that can happen," but I feel like that doesn't apply to my obsessive worries because the worst things that could happen are literally terrifying and catastrophic!!! So I'm at a loss of what to do. Other than these issues I seem to be doing very well with my anxiety and I really feel like I'm on the brink of getting out of it (which I do believe is possible). I just need help dealing with these things. Thanks to everyone who has helped me before- this forum is awesome! :)