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Author Topic: Severe fear of going insane. Please hep  (Read 515 times)

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Offline Riley87

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Severe fear of going insane. Please hep
« on: December 07, 2013, 11:18:22 AM »
Hi, I'm brand new here and I need help. I have GAD, trichotillomania, and pure o OCD. I have developed a SEVERE, irrational obsessive fear that I already am or am going to go insane. It's so bad that when I have the thoughts that convince me it's almost paralyzing, and I don't know what to do. My dad is what you would call "insane," he has delusional disorder and has been in mental hospitals and is still on total disability. All of this scares me to death. For some reason, I'm not sure why, the thought of being insane is worse than death to me.  :fragend005:
But it's not only that..... what my brain will do is much more sinister. It latches onto things I experience around me and connects them to my thoughts, just like a crazy person. For example, if I am randomly thinking that I need to get a new phone, and then immediately a commercial for a phone comes on tv, I notice that and get creeped out and maybe wonder what it means.  :sick0002: Also, if someone mentions something about insanity in general it makes me very uncomfortable, and I feel like that's the same reaction a truly crazy person would have. My brain will also sometimes realize something that a crazy person WOULD think, and almost experiments with thinking it, and in that split second I don't know if it's really me thinking it!! :\ For example - I know that a crazy person might think, say, numbers on a licence plate mean something. So then I see a licence plate and think about that and wonder if I'm thinking crazy. This is all the reason I fear going insane - because through that fear it feels like I really am. It's a viscous cycle.

Writing all this makes me realize I sound like a total mess lol :( But then again I guess I am :\ Any help would be appreciated.

PS No more therapists or medication for me, trust me I've been there done that and it's only made things worse
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Severe fear of going insane. Please hep
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2013, 08:21:19 AM »
Am with you on several counts but know which part of the brain will rule. Not the crazy part. Not the defeated part. Sure can relate to your fear and your family's suffering. So sorry for it. Also go the holistic route. Also agree that insanity would be worse than death. Must have my mind, mobility, independence, able to find purpose, some pleasures.

Then the fighter in me emerges. Anger can be bad, but it can be a mighty motivator. Won't go that route. In Yoga we do Warrior poses. We must be warriors, journaling helps, posting here helps. Meditation helps. Summon up the fighter in you. It's the only way. We are here to listen and try and help. Keep us posted.
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Offline eduk8or

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Re: Severe fear of going insane. Please hep
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2013, 09:32:17 AM »
I have the same fear and have even done the license plate thing.  I can relate to a lot of what you are saying.  I think it is natural for you to fear this because you have a family member experiencing it, but all it is is a fear.  You are perpetuating the fear yourself by paying so much attention to your thoughts.  When these these intrusive thoughts hit, remind yourself that it is just that, an intrusive thought, and try to let it pass like you would any other thought.  A good mental image is to "put" the thought in a balloon and let it float away.  You have thousands of thoughts everyday, many of which you pay no attention to.  You need to try to do the same with these thoughts.  Thoughts are just thoughts, they can't hurt you.  As mentioned above, meditation is a great tool to help out with anxiety.  You are not going insane.
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