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Author Topic: Exhausting road to recovery and obsessive thoughts (advice on how to continue?)  (Read 318 times)

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Offline Icetea

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Hey,

I wrote here a while ago about my anxiety problems, but recently I started doing a lot better. With the help of my friend I have returned to my classes. I also took 1/4th of a benzo two weeks ago and since then I was able to ward off my panic attacks. However I still feel anxious and I realized that all this anxiety is due to the fact that I still feel a bit of derealization/depersonalization. I can usually "forget" about it when I am doing something interesting but my mind keeps returning to the thoughts of "how am I alive, how am I doing what I am doing, how do I see etc." and it's not that I don't realize the mechanisms behind these actions but I become to aware of them on my self and it scares me. It's almost that I can't believe what I am doing. Then I keep thinking that I will break down somehow. It also doesn't help that sometimes I hear my tinnitus, which also provokes some anxiety in me (be it a lot less).

I kind of realized my self that I need to find something else to "worry" about. I am not really invested in anything else at the moment. I'm not worried about school or what I am going to do after I finish. At the same time I feel bored (like no other thoughts/ideas interest me). I been trying to do more (writing my blog, doing Sudoku puzzles etc.) as well learning some techniques from CBT which have been very helpful. However I really don't want to keep returning to those thoughts and I am not sure what else I can do. So I was wondering if any of you have some advice?

Thank you for your time :)
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Offline Artemissive

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I've experienced really similar things - the depersonalization, and those exact thoughts. It's nice to know that other people experience it and I'm not going crazy, but I also wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Okay, this is kind of random. I started playing with polymer clay. Doing things with my hands helps. Being able to focus on doing something with your hands is immensely helpful. Even if you suck at making things out of clay, like I do.

Another thing that helps me is square breathing. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four, breathe in for four, etc... And cycling through the breathing and the counting. It helps regulate your breath and also gets your mind focusing on the counting, which distracts you from the feelings of depersonalization. Hope this helps some!
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Offline Icetea

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Thank you for the reply, I will definitely try out your techniques. How long did it take for you to get over those thoughts?
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