I'm starting to wonder if this is possible. Before I begin, I just wanna say I am waiting to see my new primary care physician so I'm not looking for medical advice.
So I've had anxiety since I was 17. The focus tends to be on my health. Here are some of my worries: 17-18: brain tumor, headaches, numbness in face, etc 19-20 break thanks to Lexapro. 21-23: schizophrenia, felt crazy a lot, felt out of my body, etc. 23-24: depression/*****: feelings of sadness, questioning whether or not I was depressed. 24-27 (present day): colon cancer: have had maybe 10 normal perfectly round stools since it all began, mostly flattish stool, type 4.5 sort of loose, soft, diarrhea twice a week usually, always looking fr blood, think I've seen it a few times.
Anyway, as mentioned I worry about my BMs. I had an ex gf who worried about being trapped and having to poop and she had diarrhea literally like 7 times a day (now she's fine). Me though, I'm different. And that scares me. I'm afraid of what comes out and if I don't have to go first thing in the morning I strain (bad I know). Usually I'm hit at the same time every morning with a whoosh and it's either a bunch of formed pieces or a mudpie and I don't have to go the rest of the day. Of course, this causes me great great gret anxiety. I feel like all te anxious poopers I've known go when they are anxious. I'm anxious all day and I only go once in the morning and it's usually loose which a)doesn't sound characteristic of ibs and makes me think that something like else is pushing the stool along or something. I'm a wreck. I don't know what's going on. Any advice? Any ideas? Help me. This takes up my whole life.