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Author Topic: Pathological Liar?  (Read 312 times)

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Offline LadyBlue

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Pathological Liar?
« on: December 04, 2013, 04:18:12 PM »
           Please tell me if I;m completely over thinking the whole situation and just have a narrow mind or is it  a possibilty?
so i have really bad anxiety issues with my boyfriend cheating on me. I love him so much, itd kill me, and its killing me not knowing or not relaxing about it. if i notice something different, hes dressed when i get home from work late at night still,i dont know just situations i nag about and he gets angry and gives me a explanation. they make sense but then i over think and it just gets worse and worse and last for days.
then just get angry at him and treat him like *****, when maybe nothing did happen?>

or maybe my gut feeling is right and im being completely lied too.
AND what drives me more crazy is a cheating man is only going to stop when he wants to,i cant control anything.
 i love him and i believe he loves me, so how do i get rid of these awful feelings. and assume the worst.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Pathological Liar?
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2013, 06:33:10 AM »
You have idea in your head backed by nothing at all. Reading your words it is not like he has ever done anything on you. You just seem to imagine he might have done something. That is your mind at work. That does not mean he has ever done anything wrong on you. If everything is based on your own thoughts alone, then it is your own thoughts you have to work on. He is still dressed when you get home from work. Maybe he wanted to be up when you got home. I see nothing in what you wrote that said he ever cheated. Just your mind thinking the worst things. So working on fixing your own thoughts. Reasons he would have to cheat? Reasons he would cheat? Things you might have done to make him want away from you? He is still there. He still loves you. Irrational thinking is all that is going on. You have to see this. Writing it all done might help you to see it more clearly.
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Offline PinkIcePrincess

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Re: Pathological Liar?
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2014, 03:11:43 PM »
Hi LadyBlue,
 As  a woman myself and on my 3rd Marriage and it has lasted now 19 years going on 20 years soon first off after awhile you will say Okay do I care lol... kidding. But you do fall into a pattern once you have been with someone for awhile and you know them well enough to know when they are lying or yes cheating some say Oh you wouldn't know but yes you really would know its very easy to tell.. my 2nd Hubby cheated and beat me so I did know even when he lied and Thank God that ended and I moved on..

 As women we are more insecure and we have so many more thoughts and emotions then men do sorry to any men reading this no harm intended but we do because we are so full of Hormones and as women we are expected to be a certain size or have a certain hair color or length we never know some like women with long hair some like women with short hair some like women who are dark skinned some like women who are pale.. so really how the heck do we know!!! lol .. seriously right?

 As you age you do change I hope anyways.. now I can not say my Hubby doesn't tell little lies because he does but a lie is a lie and sure he checks out other women heck I point them out and say wow she is beautiful.. I figure I made it on my own before and raised my son I could again.. so I just don't let myself worry about a man is going to do if they cheat would you really want to keep him ? No and yes ladies there are still some awesome men left out there!!

 I think until your man gives you some real reason to feel jealous and upset then you have got to deal with this all because if you keep doing what you are doing you will eventually ruin the relationship no one likes to be nagged or asked a lot of questions.. so try and believe what he says and don't read things into every move he makes because you are probably wrong but only you can learn to TRUST and if you do not have TRUST then you will never have a good relationship.

Just my take .. 3 marriages  I am far from knowing it all but I have learned along the way and dated some others that just amazed me with their actions.. but life is about lessons.

Take care and I hope you are in therapy it would help..
PinkIcePrincess
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Offline BrookeAshley1

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Re: Pathological Liar?
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2014, 09:09:52 PM »
Trust can be a scary thing, because we give someone the complete power to hurt us and in some cases turn our world around. It's not an easy thing to do at all. I'm not sure how long you and your boyfriend have been together, but based on your post alone it doesn't sound like there's any real evidence of him cheating or lying to you. Once something is in our mind we start to look for "signs" to validate our thoughts. We end up thinking things are signs when they aren't at all. But our minds wont let it go and we obsess on it. It sounds to me like you're so worried about this, that you're looking for evidence. You are seeking it out, so any minor change in his routine, you automatically feel it validates the thought that he's cheating on you. When in reality, sometimes we change our routine day to day. I think the best thing to do is to work on your thoughts and try to involve your boyfriend in you dealing with these fears. I think him being there for you and you being open with him will help you greatly.
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Giving up is always an option, but it is never my choice.

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