Chat Now!   Member Gallery   Anxiety Zone Wire   Games   Social Groups   AZ Member Blogs   Health News  Bored?

Author Topic: How do I get over this ?  (Read 175 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Gemmal

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 95
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
How do I get over this ?
« on: December 04, 2013, 04:13:26 AM »
I've had a huge life controlling lymphoma fear for 22 months now and I just can't seem to get over it .
I have no motivation for anything in life and I fear I'm heading for depression .

at the weekends I drink to forget about it which really is a stupid idea since my anxiety is fuelled by alcohol due to being convinced I have the sore lymph nodes with alcohol  consumption a typical symptom . I then spend Sunday in a panic resulting in a spell of itching my skin for days . It's like a vicious predicable circle for the past two years .

I have had all the blood tests chest x rays and consultations .

I have been offered to see a councillor which I stupidly turned down because I  am still convinced it's not anxiety but really lymphoma .

Does anyone have any ideas ? I have stopped seeking temporary reassurance but still no luck .

Last Christmas I was miserable and I promised myself I wouldn't be like that this year and it looks like it again :(
Bookmark and Share

Offline DaphneNL

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 339
  • Country: nl
  • Rec's: 2
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Confused
    Confused
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: How do I get over this ?
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2013, 09:40:51 AM »
I think you're not heading for depression. I think you're already depressed. Try to make an appointment with that councelor anyway. I think you need some help to break out of this circle.
Bookmark and Share

Offline bpadilla49

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 242
  • Rec's: 2
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: How do I get over this ?
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2013, 11:32:35 AM »
Gemmal:

I can relate. I have a lymphoma fear too, but mine has only been present for the last month and a half. I have constant aches and pains, and yesterday evening I ran a low grade fever, which I still feel this morning.

So needless to say I'm freaking out.

I saw the doctor yesterday and he tried to reassure me regarding my blood work (but I know you can have lymphoma and still have normal blood work!). Anyway, after I finished talking to him he told me that he believes, just by talking with me, that I am clinically depressed. He said "You sound really, really depressed." ....and I am. I told him that I feel like this is going to be my last Christmas with my Children (3 and 1 years) and I'm really sad about that. (I'm tearing up even typing this).

So anyway, he told me that the constant aches and pains were probably caused by the depression, manifesting itself in my body.

I'm still terrified. And sad.

I have a counseling appointment today, my 2nd one, and I highly suggest you seek it. I've heard it can help so, so much, and I'm praying that it will.

Anyway, I might not have been much help, but I can just say that you're not alone.

Oh....and just a side note - I love Christmas music, but why the heck would you make a song like "Christmas Shoes"??? It's so sad! Definitely leaves me blue even when I hear the first few notes of the song, before I change the channel.
Bookmark and Share

Offline Gemmal

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 95
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: How do I get over this ?
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2013, 01:34:51 PM »
Bpadilla49 thank you so much for this post ! I'm so glad you can relate and I can totally relate to you too !

I can probably bet my income on it we will both be here next Christmas looking back at all the worrying we done ! Lol

I hope your councilling session was okay and I am definately going to take your advice and ask my doctor to be out on the programme ! It's about time I got my life back on track the last two years have been abysmal !

And hey I managed to go to the gym today pretty impressive for someone who has " extremely advanced terminal lymphoma " for the past 2 years  :P

I hope your doing okay ! Thank you so much again !!

Gemma
Bookmark and Share

Tags: