WTF?! This is getting so ridiculous. I seriously just want to drop my head back & scream. Like I posted in my last thread from earlier this evening, I am ****ing terrified of cancer. To be specific, lymphoma & thyroid cancer. Right now, I am going to put all of my thought N' focus on this mystery mass that I found roughly a week ago (give, or take.) Maybe even two weeks, actually. Anyway, this mass is very large (walnut... golf-ball sized?) & extremely hard. Like, EXTREMELY hard. It feels very round. I believe it is only slightly tender because I poke at it so much. I swear it came out of no where, I think. You cannot see this mass by just looking at me, unless I pointed it out. However, once you feel it... it is scary obvious. I am literally shaking as I write this. My stomach is in knots & I almost want to puke. I hardly eat because I am so stressed 24/7. I am actually going to take my temperature -- 98.7 degrees. Damn anxiety was making me feel like I was on fire. *Sigh* I have been putting ice-packs on this mass for two nights with ZERO improvement. I may try a hot rice-sock tonight & see how that goes. Oh, this mass is located on my SCM muscle (the very top of it.) In other words, it is directly under my (right) earlobe & kind of behind my jaw. It has not shrunk, at all. I have a CT-scan on Halloween, which I am terrified for; not only the results, but also the possible IV. *Cringes* I do have multiple thyroid nodules that have not yet been determined benign, or malignant. I want surgery, but my Endo is skeptical on the idea. /)_< I am also scared that I have a tumor in my upper (left) shoulder/trapeziums muscle because it looks swollen compared to the other one. It hurts, too. I do have scoliosis, but I do not know if that is related... my Husband swears that it is & that this is all in my head because he massages my back/shoulders every day. He said: "They have always been tense." I just have this gut feeling that something is wrong. I recently had a lot of blood-work done, all normal. Even my test for Medullary Thyroid Cancer came back negative. That was a huge relief, however that moment of "awe" never lasts long... am I right? Lol. <--- Not really funny, though. I have severely decayed teeth, as I am in the process of finding a dentist; I use to be homeless. I know this mass is not from my teeth, though I do have lymph-nodes that are enlarged due to them. This mass feels... different, just not right. I also have single, red pin-prick dots spread-out around my arms & chest. "Petechiae," but I probably miss spelled it. Those scare the holy crap out of me, too. I collapsed in my shower once in tears because I found more of these dots on my legs. Actually, I found three more fresh ones today. I best stop here. My heart is pounding.