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Author Topic: Too frustrating talking to parents who do not understand.  (Read 578 times)

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Offline simoliz03

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Too frustrating talking to parents who do not understand.
« on: August 28, 2013, 10:09:45 PM »
  Hi everyone.  It's such a challenge talking to my parents about my anxiety issues.  What happened today, I told them I'm nervous about my upcomming SSI cace hearing and they still do not see why I need that when meanwhile it is recomended by my therapist, a psychiatrist who I saw a year ago, and the doctor who is incharge of medication in the therapy building where I see my therapist.  The parents just think get a job and go drive again and everything will be just glorious  ::).  Yea that easy right!  I just wish they knew what its like.  Maby they are just frustrated with me because I'm 29 and still live at home and still afraid to go back to a job and driving :(  >:(. One time my therapist did have a talk with my dad and he acted like yea ok with alot of sarcasm.  What got me upset today was when they both told me ''Just get a job and just ignore it.  Thats not normal the way you are acting''.  And ''If you are not carefull they will take away your therapist if she is not helping you.''  I was going to cry :(.  My therapist is trying to help me.  She is even trying to get me a peere support person I believe that is what they call them to help me go out and try to  socialize and volonteer.  We still hafe to wait on them! 
 
  Can anyone relate too me or have any suggestions?  I'm not ignoring about a job or driving.  I have too many anxietys right now and am  trying to work on them now.  The SSI is suppost to be for a while only an do a step at a time if the hearing goes well.  Please tell me they will not take away my therapist :(!  She is really nice and understands me.  I hate it when people do not understand and look at you and think you are nuts or something.  Thanks guys.   
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Too frustrating talking to parents who do not understand.
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2013, 06:04:24 AM »
Oh we can all relate to other not getting the whole anxiety thing. In a way we have to view it through their eyes. They have never had anxiety themselves. They haven't a clue what it is like. Trust me if they could walk in your shoes for a day I know they would change their minds. My own mother knew I had anxiety for years. She was great. But she still never fully understood how bad I really was. Until I let her read a diary of mine. Only then did she see the full extent of what was going on in my life. She felt guilty. As she had always asked me to go places for her. I always went. I told her I always saw that as a challenge. To push myself outside of the house. So not to feel guilty over it. Would have been much worse if I hadn't got such challenges in my life. Other than that, it is a need to know basis. I hardly tell anybody. Because I don't see that many people at all. I do go out daily. Do my own thing. I think we need to push ourselves. Better than just sitting around all day. As for your therapist I can't see them taken her away from you. If they know you like her and progress is been made, why change that? The one thing I wonder is, if you live at home, if your parents work, that may go against you for claiming SSI. It is a bit different here in Ireland. Over there is it not based on how much cash is coming into the house? I know they have some way of working it out. It may take a few tries before you do get it. I know a few room users who had to put in for it 3 times before they finally got it. Wish you all the best with it. We are always here for you.
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Offline simoliz03

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Re: Too frustrating talking to parents who do not understand.
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2013, 09:51:33 PM »
  Hi Cuchculan  :happy0151:.

 Thank you.  It is nice that you do have someone verry close who understands you.  Sometimes I do have people in the family who can try to understand.  And I have certain relatives where lets say is a challenge.  The last thing I want to do is dread when a family party comes up, they ask '' What have you been up too lately?''  ''Do you have a job yet?''  If I would't show up at a party sometimes, they get offended!  I don't want that happening.  Some exciting news is my parents are having my early 30th birthday party along with my older brother who is turning 40 next month!  Lots of strangers who know my brother and the family are going to show up :-*.  Whish me luck.  HAHA.  As for the SSI, I believe it is different here.  They do say alot of people get turned down at first.  Income is different if say I had kids to support, a husband.  I just live in the house with my parents and middle age brother.  Thank you, it does feel better going on this site with people who can relate.   
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Offline Leo99

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Re: Too frustrating talking to parents who do not understand.
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2013, 01:57:57 AM »
I am 'fortunate' to come from a family that is (probably) genetically anxious as almost every woman at least 3 generations back and some men 've been suffering from depression and anxiety. But we+d never discussed it much so I freaked when I started having intrusive thoughts, anxiety which led to depression. My mother was of a great help to me but she did not pamper me or anything. When I was so weak (from ADs) I could barely stand, she almost forced me to go to the balcony and later outside and take walks. When I got my degree and a steady job (I still worked, with occassional days or weeks of), she kindly proposed I move out on my own. I freaked  B-;. But it was a good thing to do.
She later told me her psychiatrist'd been always asking her if she'd been searching for a job, even when she was at the lowest. She'd thought he was crazy but eventually she realized it was good for her to, as Cuchculan put it nicely, set challenges for herself.
As far as other relatives and strangers are concerned- you don't owe them to talk about your issues. You can always smile kindly and say 'I'm waiting to get that dream job I always wanted.' Pardon me for being blunt but it's none of their business. Who cares what people think. We have enough struggle already, we are not obligated to put ourselves outthere. What's important is how we feel. And not hurting others in the process, of course.

Be well!
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From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
(E. A. Poe)

Offline simoliz03

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Re: Too frustrating talking to parents who do not understand.
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2013, 12:25:58 AM »
  Hi Leo99  :happy0151:

 Yep, my therapist is advising me to face fears.  First thing she wants me to do is go out and hang out with people.  And then I would think the WHAT IF!  Anoying.  I do have a party comming up next month, maby that will be a great thing.  It would be good to have the option to have a dream job.  I'm still thinking about that one!  I'll try not to think too far ahead of time.

  Thanks.
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Offline dragonboy

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Re: Too frustrating talking to parents who do not understand.
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2013, 12:03:03 PM »
Oh we can all relate to other not getting the whole anxiety thing. In a way we have to view it through their eyes. They have never had anxiety themselves. They haven't a clue what it is like. Trust me.........
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Offline simoliz03

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Re: Too frustrating talking to parents who do not understand.
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2013, 11:32:59 PM »
  Yep, now and then I whish they would know what it's like being me.  But I guess we should be carefull with that one  :winking0008:  :laugh3:
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