hi everyone. i have posted predominantly in the health anxiety section of this site,
but i have been feeling at a bit of a loss lately, particularly with my depression, and i don't feel i have anyone to talk to who won't just start to worry about me...
thinking i am ill or dying, constantly, is really taking a toll on me. my doctor and therapist both said the stress would likely start to effect me long before any feared sickness befell me.
i feel awful all the time and can no longer differentiate between real or imagined,
self made or natural.
coupled with general anxiety about the well being of my family, my relationship, even my pets, this feeling has really beaten me down. i was initially diagnosed with clinical depression at age 12, with a diagnosis of severe anxiety and possible ptsd to follow.
i am so low i find myself disassociating, just turning everything off so i don't have to think about it, or talk about it...
but really i can't ignore what is in my own head.
i haven't been to my therapist lately...
our last session left off with me saying i might want to come in for couples therapy (relating to some infidelity on my boyfriend's end- which added quite heavily to my feelings of anxiety/depression)
and i just haven't been able to pull it together to make that appointment.
been having thoughts of self harm/bulimia, which i have been in recovery from for a few years but i am now feeling wildly out of control and i don't know how much longer i can do it.
not really looking for a question answered, or any response, really. i just have no one i am willing to burden with this information. needed to say it somewhere.
thanks for listening.