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Author Topic: I've never come to this board with such desperation.  (Read 522 times)

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Offline Waffles

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I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« on: June 24, 2013, 08:24:10 PM »
I've come to this board a few times before, but never have I felt so desperate and absolutely sure that I have MS. I don't even know if anyone can help me as I'm sure this can't be anxiety related. Maybe I just need to write this out for my own well-being.

Three months ago, I started having arm pain that felt like a tight sunburn on my forearm. One evening, my fingers started buzzing very badly. It lasted about 2 days. The feeling moved to strange, tight sensations in my legs. My arm stopped hurting and the focus was then entirely my legs. My calves were tight and numb, sometimes with patches of coldness on my thighs. My feet buzzed intensely. For nearly 3 weeks, my legs were afflicted with this from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed. I stretched my legs, took multivitamins, ate bananas for potassium and nothing helped the tight, numb feeling.

I woke up today and my legs were completely fine! I was elated! I strolled around all day like the world was perfect. I was sitting at the optometrist this afternoon waiting for my glasses to be fixed when my groin suddenly started buzzing very intensely. I didn't give it much thought and assumed I had been sitting strangely. When I stopped at my son's day care to pick him up, I walked into the office and my groin started buzzing more intensely than before. It felt I had a cell phone set to buzz stuffed down the front of my pants (funny, I know.) It lasted until I got home. I sat on the couch and the buzzing stopped. Odd, I thought. Then, a wave of numb coldness replaced the buzzing over my groin. It mimicked my leg pain in it's expression.

I know that one of the hallmark signs of MS involves symptoms moving to different areas of your body, not a bombardment of symptoms all over at once. I've been having just a few things on certain areas of my body the whole time. Now, it's moved again. I've been sobbing all night long. I don't think I can handle being diagnosed with MS. I think I'd rather die, to be honest. I have young children, and I'm going to be wheelchair bound and/or paralyzed and unable to play with my wonderful babies. I just can't even find the will to eat dinner. I feel like this last migration of symptoms is the definitive sign.

I bought health insurance tonight. I had been avoiding it as I'm a graduate student, and money is tight. I can't take it anymore though. My insurance will hopefully kick in within a few days (weeks?), and I can begin the process of my MS diagnosis and the slow decay of my young life.
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Offline cbhaga01

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2013, 09:38:37 PM »
Oh, waffles.  I want to give you a hug.

I went through the EXACT same thing back in March.  Started having random buzzing & tingling, I was thoroughly convinced I has MS.  Honestly, I sunk into a pretty deep depression.  But eventually, I calmed down, and the sensations began to subside.  I later learned that anxiety effects the CNS the same way as MS, which is why a lot of people with anxiety tend to believe they have MS; the symptoms are quite similar.  And hey, if it IS MS, I assure you, it's not the end of the world.  Have you read pan's stick at the top of the HA main page?

All the best  :action-smiley-065:
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"Living every day with a fear of dying isn't really living at all."

drunkonworry.blogspot.com

Offline Waffles

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2013, 10:11:14 PM »
Cbhaga,

Thank you so much for your reply. It's unbelievably comforting to know just one other person has been there.  ;D

You said you experienced the crazy migrating tingling, too? How did you eventually get it to subside (if it did)? How long did it last for you? My tingling feels like a weird throbbing buzzing. It's awful!
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Offline marc

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2013, 11:09:28 PM »
I have known a number of people with MS and their symptoms included difficulty in walking and swallowing.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline marc

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2013, 11:10:26 PM »
Swallowing regular food.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline cbhaga01

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2013, 01:35:35 AM »
Cbhaga,

Thank you so much for your reply. It's unbelievably comforting to know just one other person has been there.  ;D

You said you experienced the crazy migrating tingling, too? How did you eventually get it to subside (if it did)? How long did it last for you? My tingling feels like a weird throbbing buzzing. It's awful!

Actually, it hasn't entirely subsided.  It kinda comes and goes, usually sticks around my right calf muscle, though.  But it's way, way less present than it used to be.  At its height, it was nearly constant, coming in waves, but now I might get a few twinges once or twice a week for a few minutes.  Focusing on it is the worst thing you can do, because it's only gonna make it worse.  Just tell yourself it's all in your head and it will begin to calm down  :action-smiley-065:
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"Living every day with a fear of dying isn't really living at all."

drunkonworry.blogspot.com

Offline qwertie

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2013, 03:26:54 AM »
Waffles, I've had similar symptoms in the sense that most of my numbness and tingling affects different parts of my body. Sometimes it shifts to another part during the day, sometimes it affects say, my left hand for 1-2 days before leaping to my foot. Somedays I don't feel anything at all. All these symptoms, in retrospect, are actually rather mild and not disabling in any way, but it sure sent me into a frenzy. I still don't know what's going on with me - could be anxiety or pinched nerves or a combination - but I'm awaiting a MRI in August.

As ms affects different people differently, there isn't really any 'hallmark' symptom to it, i.e. if you have that symptom, you MUST have ms. NO. Only a combination of tests can confirm the ms diagnosis. I bet you've been googling. So did I, because I found that sentence of yours familiar. Must have been from the same website, lol.

Anyway, based on what I've read on this forum, from people who have knowledge about how ms generally works, ms first strikes like this:
- numbness/tingling tends to be confined to one part of the body or at the most, one side of the body. Whole body 'migrating' numbness/tingling can occur but this is usually in the later stages of ms after a number of years have passed, not when it first strikes.
- the first symptom tends to be drastic, e.g. one eye suddenly going blind, or severe blurry vision, or numbness so strong you can't walk/move properly

Of course, one can have none of the above and still have ms, or have all of the above and do not have ms. But we HA people really shouldn't worry about ms, because no matter what, it is a fairly rare disease, and this varies between gender and ethnicity and whether you live in the temperate or tropical region. Chances are that you don't have ms, but anxiety. Still, do go and see a doctor about this if you haven't, to rule out other causes (which can be more benign such as a disc issue or pinched nerves).
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Offline mwtzzz

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2013, 05:43:50 PM »
How about leaving the worry to the people who have actually been diagnosed with MS?
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Offline Waffles

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2013, 10:38:57 PM »
Mwtzz,

This entire site is about anxiety, and this specific forum is about health anxiety. If I was able to "leave the worrying to the people diagnosed with MS", I probably wouldn't be experiencing severe health anxiety, would I?
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Offline moocow01

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2013, 11:52:35 PM »
Im sorry to hear about your concerns.  Im a chronic MS worrier as well - I have a lot buzzing, tingling, numbness etc etc that happens all over.  Ive definitely been in your situation in terms of feeling desperate.

A couple things to hopefully help you...

From talking with my doctor what you are going through doesn't sound like the presentation of MS.  My doc told me that the cases he has seen have started with one eye seeing red colors much fainter than the other coupled with blurriness or loss of vision in the same eye along with very severe fatigue (sleep most of the day).  On top of it what occurs in MS is lesions form impacting different parts of the body but I dont think they form at an incredibly fast rate so Id say your jumping symptoms are actually a very strong case for not having MS.  Perhaps someone who has had MS for a long time and has many lesions could have all sorts of jumping symptoms but if that was the case for you Id think you'd know by now.  Also if its any help I went into my doc with very similar complaints to yours and he was very unconvinced it could be MS (he also is an extremely knowledgeable doc)

Your symptoms believe it or not are all very typical symptoms of high anxiety.  They feel strange even perhaps unbelievable but remember that anxiety impacts the nervous system and can really do some wacky stuff.  Additionally its a very normal and frustrating trap that many of us get caught in where we notice a sensation that actually is our body doing something normal (responding to anxiety, etc), interpreting  it as something really bad, and then hyperfocusing on it - and for some damn reason it makes that sensation get worse.

Lastly, I dont want to infer at all that you have MS because you genuinely sound like an anxiety sufferer rather than MS but I'd like to tell that MS is actually something that Ive come to realize is not that bad in the majority of cases.  I know a couple people who have had it for a long time and you honestly would have no clue - one is a doc and the other is SAHM - both some of the happiest able bodied folks I know.  Perhaps when your anxiety is getting the best of you and feeling that it could be the worst this will give you some comfort.
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Offline qwertie

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Re: I've never come to this board with such desperation.
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2013, 12:07:31 AM »
Im sorry to hear about your concerns.  Im a chronic MS worrier as well - I have a lot buzzing, tingling, numbness etc etc that happens all over.  Ive definitely been in your situation in terms of feeling desperate.

A couple things to hopefully help you...

From talking with my doctor what you are going through doesn't sound like the presentation of MS.  My doc told me that the cases he has seen have started with one eye seeing red colors much fainter than the other coupled with blurriness or loss of vision in the same eye along with very severe fatigue (sleep most of the day).  On top of it what occurs in MS is lesions form impacting different parts of the body but I dont think they form at an incredibly fast rate so Id say your jumping symptoms are actually a very strong case for not having MS.  Perhaps someone who has had MS for a long time and has many lesions could have all sorts of jumping symptoms but if that was the case for you Id think you'd know by now.  Also if its any help I went into my doc with very similar complaints to yours and he was very unconvinced it could be MS (he also is an extremely knowledgeable doc)

Your symptoms believe it or not are all very typical symptoms of high anxiety.  They feel strange even perhaps unbelievable but remember that anxiety impacts the nervous system and can really do some wacky stuff.  Additionally its a very normal and frustrating trap that many of us get caught in where we notice a sensation that actually is our body doing something normal (responding to anxiety, etc), interpreting  it as something really bad, and then hyperfocusing on it - and for some damn reason it makes that sensation get worse.

Lastly, I dont want to infer at all that you have MS because you genuinely sound like an anxiety sufferer rather than MS but I'd like to tell that MS is actually something that Ive come to realize is not that bad in the majority of cases.  I know a couple people who have had it for a long time and you honestly would have no clue - one is a doc and the other is SAHM - both some of the happiest able bodied folks I know.  Perhaps when your anxiety is getting the best of you and feeling that it could be the worst this will give you some comfort.

Thanks moocow for your insights! When I consulted my neurologist, she said MS doesn't typically present with my symptoms but she didn't elaborate on how MS presents.
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