Suffer from panic attacks since childhood, had a bad episode yesterday

[weezer]

Hi all.
I am a 30 year old male. I have been suffering from panic attacks and anxiety issues almost my whole life. It could be hereditary as my dad has similar problems and had a nervous breakdown when I was 16.

Anyway, just yesterday, I went downtown to the mall with my cousin. We rode the light rail in and I was feeling pretty fine with my normal but manageable case of anxiety.
Well, as the day progressed, I just got more and more stimulated and my mind started getting more and more ramped up. And the more this happened, the more my fight or flight responses were activated. However, I really couldn't just up and leave.

The physical sensations I got were very overwhelming. I felt an overall burden pushing down on my body, like an elephant on my shoulders. A feeling of defeat swept over me. I got tired. I got irritated. I started to lose concentration. I would stutter and forget what I was going to say mid sentence. I would sweat a little bit. My chest was so tight I couldn't breathe. I felt like everybody was noticing me acting crazy and that just made it worse. Toward the end of the day I was in so much mental and physical pain and discomfort that the only solution was to go to sleep.

This is a pattern for me that happens every so often. It prevents me from working a lot of jobs that I would otherwise like to do because I am afraid of being "trapped" in one place at a time, like an office, or a clothing store, or a restaurant. So, yes, it is really affecting my life in serious ways.

Since turning 30 I have reevaluated my life and where I want to go. I have decided that I am going to live a happy, social life from now on, and do whatever work it takes to get there.
I am seeing a therapist weekly. I plan on buying the panic attack workbook by David Carbonell.
But most importantly, I want my life back!! I know that this state of hyper anxiety has prevented me from doing many group activities growing up that I know I would love to have done, such as sports, plays, public speaking, etc.

Based on what I have said, what is your educated guess as to what type of disorder I am suffering? Agoraphobia? Generalized anxiety? Panic disorder? I have hope and renewed energy in my struggle to overcome these obstacles and start LIVING.

[floridaguy65]

Welcome!:) Congrats for you having plans in seeking out a lasting healing plan for anxiety / panic! Great that you are getting some professional assistance and, hopefully, some gentle guidance to help you move in better directions for your mental health challenges. Ultimately, it will be your own diligent work (self-help) that will offer up the most powerful opportunities for you to learn how to live in better accord alongside your anxiety issues.

Sounds more along the lines of Panic Disorder, to me. But, lots of what we can struggle with tends to morph over into different areas within the overall context of anxiety challenges. Your therapist can give you better insights into this. Panic Disorder can be a bitch, for sure....I struggled mightily myself. There are definite physical techniques and cognitive thinking exercises that we can learn which hold tremendous potential in reducing DOMINANT fear / panic.

Keep in mind that no one dies from a panic attack - NO ONE:) And, precipitory anxiety over WHEN? the next one might come is a bugger....but we can learn to push through and not use avoidance as a major defense mechanism. We worry about freaking out in public. We worry about coming unglued in front of friends. We worry about having our hearts blow up because of the palpitations and PVCs. All of this is part of our trials. Do not feel your case is worse than others. Do not feel that what has helped others does not hold the ability to do the same for you - it does, overwhelmingly:)

You must exercise, physically and regularly. Deep diaphragmatic breathing techniques are tremendous, and a must, IMHO. Through learning how to breath correctly (NOT shallow chest breathing) we can nip panic attacks in the bud, often, before they become wild, full blown PAs. There are many more actions and habits we can embrace, as well.

Best wishes in your enthusiastic efforts! Setbacks happen...push through and learn and keep on truckin'! It CAN get so much better - I promise:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[weezer]

Thank you florida, I have been mindfully practicing belly breathing the past few days and yes, it does help. I have been seeing therapists and practicing mindfulness for years. My problem is that when I start to feel better I become complacent and stop practicing. Well, if you have a great body and stop going to the gym, what happens? Same thing.
Speaking of that, I do work out and do sporting activities regularly. I am in the top 5-10% physical shape for men my age. I just hope that I can be as healthy emotionally and mentally.
I do have problems with explosive anger a lot too. It is uncontrollable at times, then I get so upset ar myself for overreacting. I can't seem to get rid of that.
I have been pretty good about 10 minute meditations and relaxing music before bed. That seems to be helping with better sleep. And with better sleep comes better awake.

What has helped for you?

[floridaguy65]

Thank you florida, I have been mindfully practicing belly breathing the past few days and yes, it does help.
Great. Keep it up. This is for the long haul and this habit can become almost automatic in its response to stress / panic / fear. When beginning it almost feels unnatural....this feeling tends to fade upon practice and acceptance:)

I have been seeing therapists and practicing mindfulness for years. My problem is that when I start to feel better I become complacent and stop practicing. Well, if you have a great body and stop going to the gym, what happens? Same thing.

Yes, you are answering your own concerns:) It is a small price to pay to keep up our good actions and habits and mindsets when we know what the alternative can allow back into our lives. When we really get moving down a viable healing path, our daily rituals to help ourselves don't even seem like "work"...they can become an intrisic part of our being. Most of the stuff we embrace in helping ourselves with our anxiety / panic issues are just plain ol' good things to do for most everybody in the world, IMHO:) They might improve lots of peeps lives.....but, for us, they are pretty vital in keeping lifeflow interruptions (caused by anxiety / panic disorders) to a bare minimum:)

Speaking of that, I do work out and do sporting activities regularly. I am in the top 5-10% physical shape for men my age. I just hope that I can be as healthy emotionally and mentally.

Keep working on it, calmly, and you'll give yourself your best chance. Don't work on it and.....well, you know:)

I do have problems with explosive anger a lot too. It is uncontrollable at times, then I get so upset ar myself for overreacting. I can't seem to get rid of that.

Sure, you CAN get rid of it....or neutralize it to great extents. It is more of the same -addressing the issues appropriately. Our minds are pliable - we can learn how to "rewire" our minds to amazing extents. Anxiety makes us feel otherwise, though. We can feel as though we are locked into they way our thought processes influence our actions and habits. This, certainly, does not have to be the case, as has been shown:)

I have been pretty good about 10 minute meditations and relaxing music before bed. That seems to be helping with better sleep. And with better sleep comes better awake.

Wonderful....and true:)

What has helped for you?

Acceptance. Diligent, rigorous exercise. Breathing techniques. Learning about anxiety / panic. Visualizations / light meditation. Affirmations. Journaling. Diet. Living with 'it' - my anxiety / panic issues. Pushing through and not avoiding. I had some counseling many years ago and I quickly learned that I could further my help on my own with dedication. I have taken two meds (many years ago)...one was Klonopin - the other was Propanolol. I was a raging Cardiophobe back when I really struggled with panic attacks. The Propanolol helped to 'ease' the physical manifestations, and inturn some of the panic. The Klonopin was used to peg down my hyper anxiety / panic down to manageable levels (keep me from pulling my hair out, basically:) so that I could focus, with some tiny bit of clarity, on embracing all the other actions and habits I need to do in order to best help myself. I tried pegging down my own anixety for awhile without a med, but it didn't seem to work. But, at that time, I wasn't really fully aware of all the other options and things I could do to help myself. Things have changed, for the better, in our understanding of anxiety / panic since 1985:) I used the Propanolol for about a year and the Klonopin for about 18 months, if I recall. I've been med free for many, many years now:)

My Panic Disorder has been 'under control' for many years...I remember my first full blown panic attack as if it were yesterday, though. Through my actions and habits I have been able to prevent panic attacks and I have kept the ones that occurred from driving me into fear driven bad habits and actions. My anxiety challenges, overwhelmingly, morphed into Health Anxiety with pretty heavy OCD tendencies (which had been very serious at times) but which is now 'under control', for the most part:) I will be a lifetime anxiety peep....I have accepted this. But, anxiety does not define me. And, I seldom have major lifeflow interruptions caused by my mental health challenges:) I love my life and now I'm in a position to say that I would be hard pressed to ask for things to have been different. My embracing of life-affirming habits and in promoting positive mindsets have put me in a good place in my life....I'm not so sure I would be where I am today if I didn't live the life I led, with all its challenges and successes:)

Peace and Feel Well:)

[weezer]

Wow, I am so grateful that somebody would take so much time to help out a fellow human.
It does feel like a living hell sometimes, it is that bad. Then I start thinking "what did I do to deserve this?" Etc. also, I have never been in a serious, intimate relationship, and I blame my anxiety issues on that. Yeah, life's not fair. Everyone always tells me "why are you single??" They say I am so good looking and smart. Well, my self esteem sucks because of all the worrying. This in turn repels people from me. I just want to connect, make friends, find love, love myself. But then I have doubts that it will ever happen, that I was just born this way. Then sometimes I feel elated. The unstable mood swings are undesirable to me, an employer, and a mate.

My diet is pretty excellent. No caffeine. No sugar. No processed foods. I sit in the sauna to sweat out all the toxins. I can't even imagine what I would be going through if I didn't have such a healthy lifestyle!!

I have been reading up a lot about anxiety on Dr. Carbonell's website. I think before I was more afraid to acknowledge it when it happened. I didn't want to write down what I was going through as it was happening because then I would be experiencing it even moreso. Also, do I have to carry around a pad of paper everywhere just because I might have anxiety attacks? Seems silly.

Today the anxiety started coming up in situations that are typical, but, I allowed more acceptance, and told myself I don't have to be a smiley, bubbly, happy person all the time, because, that's just not me, I'm more in tune with a range of emotion, hi and low, and, the anxiety subsided. I think I put so much pressure on myself to be the perfect alpha male that everybody loves, and in reality it is never going to happen, and this disconnect is where anxiety grows.

[vlariche1]

 I used to experience panic attacks but Deep diaphragmatic breathing techniques and YOGA cured them completely! Stick with these two techniques and you will get your life back!

[weezer]

Hey vlariche!
I just got back into yoga a few weeks ago. I go once a week now. It does help.. also, I notice that swimming freestyle also helps with diaphragm breathing as you are forcing yourself to take in deep breaths or you will literally drown. My problem is that I have not done this type of deep breathing for so long that my diaphragm muscle is not very strong and so I will force a belly full of air and sit with it to stretch and work it out.
I also have a good therapist that helps me with technique.