Wow, I am so grateful that somebody would take so much time to help out a fellow human.
It does feel like a living hell sometimes, it is that bad. Then I start thinking "what did I do to deserve this?" Etc. also, I have never been in a serious, intimate relationship, and I blame my anxiety issues on that. Yeah, life's not fair. Everyone always tells me "why are you single??" They say I am so good looking and smart. Well, my self esteem sucks because of all the worrying. This in turn repels people from me. I just want to connect, make friends, find love, love myself. But then I have doubts that it will ever happen, that I was just born this way. Then sometimes I feel elated. The unstable mood swings are undesirable to me, an employer, and a mate.
My diet is pretty excellent. No caffeine. No sugar. No processed foods. I sit in the sauna to sweat out all the toxins. I can't even imagine what I would be going through if I didn't have such a healthy lifestyle!!
I have been reading up a lot about anxiety on Dr. Carbonell's website. I think before I was more afraid to acknowledge it when it happened. I didn't want to write down what I was going through as it was happening because then I would be experiencing it even moreso. Also, do I have to carry around a pad of paper everywhere just because I might have anxiety attacks? Seems silly.
Today the anxiety started coming up in situations that are typical, but, I allowed more acceptance, and told myself I don't have to be a smiley, bubbly, happy person all the time, because, that's just not me, I'm more in tune with a range of emotion, hi and low, and, the anxiety subsided. I think I put so much pressure on myself to be the perfect alpha male that everybody loves, and in reality it is never going to happen, and this disconnect is where anxiety grows.