Getting drunk is fun. A glass of good red wine is one of life's pleasures. And beer Mmmm. I suppose I could be classed as alcohol dependent, as I would happily drink 4-8 standard drinks every night, if I could. But waking up with a headache and dry mouth every morning isn't much fun. The physiological effects of hitting it hard WILL catch up with you, as I know you are well aware.
Try filling that empty void with something else. Exercise is great. keeps you fit, boosts endorphins and compensates partially, for over indulging. It can be as simple as a 30 minute walk. Or a bike ride, swim, jog, whatever. There is no better drug free remedy for depression and anxiety. Start slowly, choose something you enjoy and make it an habitual part of your life. It will keep you off the piss for longer.
A mate of mine started building timber furniture in his garage, to keep him off the drink for a few hours. He'd then have a couple of beers only, and call it a night.
Sure AA is always an option, but those guys are kind of all - or - nothing. You label yourself as an alcoholic, and you make a commitment to never drink again. Maybe try some balance in your life first ??