My first anxiety episode in months :(

[reasonableland]

 Hi Folks,

 Long time no see, I've been doing really really well with my HA and not had an actual episode since August. I had a panic attack or two since then, but I've been doing really well! I stopped visiting the site after awhile because I didn't want to trigger anything.

I'm feeling upset today, I had a hair follicle or cyst or something on my labia that I prodded at, and now today there is swelling and soreness across that area of my vulva and outer labia. It's inflamed and sore. Admittedly I did two things:

1. I googled.
2. I poked and prodded it.

The good news is the googling didn't turn up a single thing that could be construed as a major health crisis, all point to easily treatable or minor things. I exercise a lot, so could be just inflammation and irritation. There's also the fact I had squeezed a hair follicle or something and now there's swelling, meaning it's probably just a local infection or whatever.

Obviously the more I look at it the worse it seems. I am trying hard not to do the "where are the lymph nodes, why is that sore what is that" thing. I poked it until some things hurt.

Years ago I woke up with some very scary looking swelling on my face. Eye swollen shut, top lip so swollen on one side it was drooping over my bottom lip. I was startled, but I took some aspirin and went to work! The swelling was gone by the time I got there, and I shrugged and carried on. How I wish I could go back to that "wait and see" attitude!

Now I feel upset and teary. I want to cry, because I feel scared.

I've made a course of action, I soaked in some warm water, washed carefully, am wearing clean clothes and I took an anti-inflammatory. If it gets worse or doesn't go away I'll go see my Doc. tomorrow.


The good news is I guess unlike other HA episodes this one has actual verified symptoms, not like all the dying I said I was doing 18 months ago :)

But even so. I hate hate hate my response to it.

[reasonableland]

********Long story short I thought sod it I'll go ask the Doc, got an apt for like an hour later- It's just a cyst. Got some antibiotics for it and I'm back home!

Doc said I did the right thing, and I wasn't over reacting.



Sometimes feel like it's hard to judge our reactions to things, are we just seeing ourselves through the prism of anxiety, and while I got upset and nervous about this it is all done and under control now.