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Author Topic: why is acceptance so hard  (Read 416 times)

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Offline chvys102000

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why is acceptance so hard
« on: November 30, 2012, 10:43:12 AM »
Its so hard to believe this is all anxiety. I only know what the Dr tells me.  It just feels like so much more. I'm lost and need new direction.
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Offline konwayeast

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Re: why is acceptance so hard
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2012, 12:53:02 PM »
Because you have become so convinced that it MUST be something more than anxiety that your brain has a hard time accepting any other conclusion.
Our brains are designed to seek evidence that confirms our beliefs, no matter how irrational or unlikely they may be. So, even though there may be a 99.99% chance that it's just anxiety causing all your physical symptoms, your brain puts substantially more weight on any evidence that proves what you already believe...in this case, that you suffer from more than just anxiety.
The good news is that you can begin to challenge that belief, as well any other irrational beliefs that you may have right now. You have already started by realizing that the trained medical professional that has checked you out is probably right. Try examining all the evidence available to you, and remember that you have an extreme bias to want to prove your original prediction correct, despite it's extremely low probability. If you do this consistently, it will probably be tough for your brain to ignore the overwhelming evidence against it forever:)
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Offline LindaRK

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Re: why is acceptance so hard
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2012, 01:07:32 PM »
It's hard because everything has to be cut and dry, black and white.  We won't accept otherwise.

Yes, our negative thought patterns deceive us.  The fact that every time we experience panic/anxiety it feeds itself, continuing to make it worse until we decide to learn to manage it.

Also, I've learned that people with anxiety like being in control and with anxiety, that doesn't happen - ever.
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Offline chvys102000

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Re: why is acceptance so hard
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2012, 01:17:22 PM »
Thanks guys. I know this true but its so hard.
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Offline floridaguy65

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Re: why is acceptance so hard
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2012, 03:51:03 PM »
Because you have become so convinced that it MUST be something more than anxiety that your brain has a hard time accepting any other conclusion.
Our brains are designed to seek evidence that confirms our beliefs, no matter how irrational or unlikely they may be. So, even though there may be a 99.99% chance that it's just anxiety causing all your physical symptoms, your brain puts substantially more weight on any evidence that proves what you already believe...in this case, that you suffer from more than just anxiety.
The good news is that you can begin to challenge that belief, as well any other irrational beliefs that you may have right now. You have already started by realizing that the trained medical professional that has checked you out is probably right. Try examining all the evidence available to you, and remember that you have an extreme bias to want to prove your original prediction correct, despite it's extremely low probability. If you do this consistently, it will probably be tough for your brain to ignore the overwhelming evidence against it forever:)

Awesome reply!:)

Without fail, IMHO, acceptance is vital to begin on one's true healing path. Easy said...but I do know it is not easy for an anxiety peep to accept this portion of their life's journey...at least in the beginning of seeking out some lasting peace. Once we do find our way to living better alongside our anxiety, we will reflect back upon the times we lived in denial and fighting tooth and nail (or maybe not even doing anything and letting anxiety 'have its way' with us) and we might say, "Getting a little better wasn't really sooo wildly difficult like I thought it would be." Keep in mind that chronic anxiety issues tend to make us feel like ALL that we might accomplish in life will be an uphill battle. It, simply, doesn't have to be such a laborious trek. Once we do accept and begin learning how to not overreact to our faulty thought processes (by falling back into old bad habits which help keep us locked into cycles of fear), then our outlook just might begin to gradually change. We can have a little more clarity about how we CAN succeed, eventhough we will, likely, have to interract with our anxiety in some form or fashion for the rest of our lives. We won't see everything through the jaded prism of amped up anxiety. We don't see ourselves, as much, struggling in the future....when we picture what our lives might be like down the road:)

Peace and Feel Well:)
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Offline chvys102000

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Re: why is acceptance so hard
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2012, 04:33:11 PM »
How do you except it.
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Offline konwayeast

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Re: why is acceptance so hard
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2012, 04:53:43 PM »
Here's a simple way of doing it.
The good part is that you already seem to know your problem: you have physical symptoms which you believe are caused by more than anxiety.
Take that problem and develop the alternative: you are actually quite healthy, and your symptoms are only due to the false belief that they are caused by some type of sickness.
Now, you have two alternatives. Analyze ALL the available evidence for each case. Do this over and over again. Eventually, there will be such overwhelming evidence against your false belief that you will start to believe the more rational thought. It won't happen immediately, but every time you have an anxious thought, just continue to remind yourself of all the evidence against that belief. Just because we believe something doesn't mean it's true...a lot of kids believe in the Tooth Fairy...

To analogize it, it's like watching the end of a football game, when your team is up by three touchdowns and 0:01 left on the clock, yet you somehow remain convinced there's a chance they could lose. If you take a close look at all that evidence, and do some analysis of the likelihood of your team losing the game, you will eventually see that it's essentially impossible.
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Offline chvys102000

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Re: why is acceptance so hard
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2012, 05:48:28 PM »
Thanks konway. I've had all kinds of test done this past yr. My anxiety is heart related. I've only been dealing with anxiety since march. I'm 31 yr old male who never let a thing in the world bother me. Maybe that is my problem I lost 3 family members last yr and my mother had to have surgery and my father wrecked his motorcycle. Both are doing well now. I think it all finally caught up with me.
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