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Author Topic: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety  (Read 3759 times)

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Offline Crimson Serenity

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Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« on: September 09, 2012, 12:30:31 PM »
Does anyone have suggestions or strategies that they find are helpful for dealing with social anxiety? Please share yours and I will have them added to the list.

Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety


  • Sign up for a group that meets at a regular time and date. This helps to make you accountable to someone for showing up.
  • Perform regular "exposure" activities. Start small (a trip to the grocery, forcing yourself to ask one employee where an item is, for example) and work your way into more complex activities.
  • Keep a rubber band or hair tie around your wrist. Snap it when you start getting intrusive or cyclical thoughts that make you anxious.
  • Plan social activities that are also physical, like sports or a walking buddy, and so forth. Moving will help control the anxiety and it's less weird to have "awkward" pauses while working out or playing a game. Plus it automatically gives you something in common with the other(s) to chat about.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2012, 02:48:04 PM »
Never, ever, try a rush things. Be it talking or even breathing. It only ends up making you worse. You stumble over your words. They don't come out right. Just stop yourself. Take a step backwards. Deep breath. Slow yourself down. You are in full control of the pace things happen at. If people have to wait for you talk slowly, then let them wait. Never make anybody rush you into anything. This is all about you. The pace you want to do things at. Not the pace others are doing things at. I find slowing myself down the better I come across in social situations.
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Offline pennyhollison

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2012, 06:27:50 AM »
In my opinion staying with others struggling against similar issues perhaps can be helpful... but I think that includes the risk to isolate you from others. I mean you have to get along with anyone and not just with your meeting group. But anyway there you surely can talk and share your issues with others and perhaps get some tips from others.

My suggestions are:
First of all I would read a lot through the internet... journals, articles, discussions (e.g. wikihow.com)... to first of all get an idea of your issue and get first tips to help yourself.
An essential thing is to not keep your issues for yourself, but talk about your issues. In fact talking for me has always been a very helpful thing. When you don't have someone to talk to... I for instance can't talk about some issues with close persons... than get professional help it doesn't have to be a psychologist... I mean you're alright, aren't you? I keep on talking to a coach about some special issues. They can really cheer you up and give you excellent tips. At the moment I have to do this face to face. But sometimes you just don't wanna wait for the next appointment.
So I came across a new concept on ***** where you can have a real-time coach on any time you need it. (*****.com/your24hcoach).
Anyway talking really frees your mind and professionals can give you good tips for your special characteristics. Than it's really up to you to implement those tips in your daily life... especially social contact... practice, practice, practice!
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Offline Crimson Serenity

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2012, 10:13:58 AM »
Quote from: Gigi123
I posted a few weeks back how I was having a rough time at work. I just started a new job a couple months ago and was having so much anxiety. I would have a mini panic attack every time someone would come to my desk and was getting little hikes in blood pressure whenever anyone would approach me. I seriously felt like I would have to live like this and experience these feelings at work forever. I had no idea how to get out of it. One morning on the bus, I figured I would just start talking to myself in a very positive manner, even if I didn't really believe it. Fake it until you make it! I just told myself that people at work liked me, that I would love to talk to them if they showed up at my desk and if they didn't like me, who cares. At the end of the day, even if they thought I was the strangest girl they had ever met or that I was weird, it wouldn't matter because I know I'm a great person. Well, it's been a few weeks now and I have seen such a tremendous drop in my anxiety. I feel SO much better. I may get a little anxious at times but I just talk my way through and have noticed such a decrease in my anxiety. I've realized recovery REALLY lies in acceptance. Even accepting the times we're anxious.

  • Positive Self-Talk
  • "Fake It 'Til You Make It" -- Pretend that everyone will like you, that you are having a good time, that you are not nervous.
  • Visualization -- Visualize the situation going amazingly well. Picture exactly how you want the social event to turn out.[/i]
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Offline Crimson Serenity

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2012, 10:16:47 AM »
In my opinion staying with others struggling against similar issues perhaps can be helpful... but I think that includes the risk to isolate you from others. I mean you have to get along with anyone and not just with your meeting group. But anyway there you surely can talk and share your issues with others and perhaps get some tips from others.

My suggestions are:
First of all I would read a lot through the internet... journals, articles, discussions (e.g. wikihow.com)... to first of all get an idea of your issue and get first tips to help yourself.
An essential thing is to not keep your issues for yourself, but talk about your issues. In fact talking for me has always been a very helpful thing. When you don't have someone to talk to... I for instance can't talk about some issues with close persons... than get professional help it doesn't have to be a psychologist... I mean you're alright, aren't you? I keep on talking to a coach about some special issues. They can really cheer you up and give you excellent tips. At the moment I have to do this face to face. But sometimes you just don't wanna wait for the next appointment.
So I came across a new concept on 0409 where you can have a real-time coach on any time you need it. (0409.com/your24hcoach).
Anyway talking really frees your mind and professionals can give you good tips for your special characteristics. Than it's really up to you to implement those tips in your daily life... especially social contact... practice, practice, practice!

  • Use a support group with others like you; but also be open to venturing outside of your comfort zone in small steps.
  • Research social anxiety.
  • Talk over your social anxiety with someone you trust: a friend, a coach, a psychologist or therapist, or a supportive family member.
  • Practice implementing tips in your daily life.
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Offline Crimson Serenity

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2012, 10:19:08 AM »
Never, ever, try a rush things. Be it talking or even breathing. It only ends up making you worse. You stumble over your words. They don't come out right. Just stop yourself. Take a step backwards. Deep breath. Slow yourself down. You are in full control of the pace things happen at. If people have to wait for you talk slowly, then let them wait. Never make anybody rush you into anything. This is all about you. The pace you want to do things at. Not the pace others are doing things at. I find slowing myself down the better I come across in social situations.

  • Start slowly. Take baby-steps.
  • Instead of filling every second of silence, allow pauses -- even if they feel awkward -- to happen so that you have time to consider the conversation and your responses.
  • Utilize deep breathing techniques.
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Offline Smiles9431

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Social Anxiety
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2012, 02:05:28 PM »
Hi! I experience social anxiety quite often... For example I went into a pawnshop with my mom the other day and purchased a camera! Well I was not happy with the camera I purchased so I wanted to take it back and exchange for another well I did not want to go bk by myself... I tried to beg my mother to go in and exchange it for me but she wouldn't budge.. Well at that point I started getting really hot, palms started sweating, I started feeling really nervous. My mom couldn't believe I was acting like that she was like chill they are just people well I finally went in with her and kinda overcame the situation... I just took slow breaths and kept telling myself people do this all the time! But still if I was alone nothing would have gotten accomplish!
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Offline Borisbmx

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2013, 01:52:16 PM »
  i have good results with a  few fast acting natural remedies.  i go to the gym at 8pm each day to socialize and usually about 1 hour before this, 7pm,  i take some   valerian root and kratom ,  plus a   laugh - rest- nap   on my zero gravity chair watching a  funny  sit com rerun on  dvr.   works well!
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Offline BriannaLeigh

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2013, 10:03:36 PM »
I have social anxiety...I literally cannot even think of being in an uncomfortable social situation without practically breaking out in hives and getting all of the other physical symptoms that are unfortunately associated with anxiety.  I have found that something that helps me cope with new social situations is to have a buffer with me the first few times.  For example, I started a new job the other day.  I was so nervous about the new job and the new people that I started having anxiety symptoms before I was even in the situation!  I had my mom or boyfriend drive with me for the first few times I was going there.  We would get there 10 to 15 minutes early, and they would talk me down, help me focus on breathing, and run through some "worst case scenario" drills with me so I could plan what I was going to do "just in case."  Maybe it sounds excessive but it definitely helped me A LOT! :]  I am by no means "cured" of my social anxiety.  I don't think it will ever go away but I am lucky enough to have supportive people that want to help me over come it.
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Offline fifigirl

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2013, 05:10:58 PM »
If you can find "brief strategic therapy" in your area, do it, it has me 80% better.
A few things I learned from it:
- Becoming the controller of your panic is important. ie don't phone your partner mid panic attack if you can. Try to learn how it feels to handle it yourself, teach yourself. Like when a parent leave their kids to cry at a certain age.

- Spend ten minutes every morning,  Turn an alarm on for 10 mins. Take these 10 minutes to think about everything that's worrying you. Think of the worse possible scenarios. (caution if extremely prone to panic attacks). Once the alarm goes off that is end of thinking time, got it? You can think you're illogical thoughts tomorrow night.

- Write down every morning what you're afraid will happen today.

Also,  Lexapro. Holy jesus lexapro....
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Offline mayas

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2013, 01:30:16 PM »
to deal with social anxiety, take initiatives to talk with people. get yourself involved in groups where you have the chance to talk about any topic you like.
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Offline Anxiom

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Re: Suggestions and Strategies for Coping with Social Anxiety
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2013, 02:14:57 PM »
Here is the strategy that worked for me when I cured my panic disorder and depersonalization disorder. I think it will work for others with panic, agoraphobia, depersonalization, and derealization. In my case I was afraid my mom would die from cancer. It actually was the case (I later found out) that she wasn't expected to survive before things stabilized. At the time I didn't know that. Anyway, I went to her room and told her what I was afraid of which is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I had the expectation she would tell me that she was dying which in my mind would destroy me too. I felt (and still do) that if she died then that's it for me, I'm done too. But she wasn't dying and when I faced the fear I won. It was incredible. 90% of the anxiety left in the space of 30 seconds. I couldn't even talk or move because I was flooded with the most powerful feeling of relief and this intense electric buzz. So if this works for you then I expect it to happen instantly and be a life-changing experience. Note that I am not a professional but I am relating the exposure technique I used on the advice of my therapist at the time: Here is what to do and how to think about it:

Make a decision that you aren't willing to live like this anymore and it has to stop. It's time to face the feared situation because that is the only way out. Only two things can result: either your total destruction or total destruction of the anxiety. It is really a life and death matter. It takes a long time to get this courage up, weeks actually. You might need to do some dry runs. Know that it has worked for many others and it will almost certainly work for you too even if you can't see how. When you can finally go through with it confront the situation head on throwing yourself right into what you expect to utterly destroy you with the expectation that you will not survive it. I know it sounds ludicrous but it's the only way (according to this theory at least) to end the fear. I am talking about purposefully triggering yourself and not easing into things. Do it all at once. The anxiety can only exist when you believe total destruction will result but if that doesn't happen the anxiety will be destroyed instantly and you will survive.




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