Hi everyone, I am new to this form and I am trying to find my way through anxiety and OCD. I Have horrible thoughts and they scare the heck out of me. I am afraid that i am going crazy and wish that it would all just go away because i just want to be myself again! I recently notice that i had OCD for a very long time but it never bothered me. But one day i was watching my fiance play this twisted metal game and in this game this guy went crazy and killed his family, but ever since i saw this dumb game i starting thinking what if i go crazy so from there on out i had these feelings that i would go crazy and hurt my kids.. And for me that is not who i am, my kids are my life and for me this kills me i have horrible anxiety attacks because of these scary thoughts. I start shaking and freaking out and break down and cry. I feel so afraid of these thoughts, i really don't know where to turn to. I went to the doctor and she said that's what is wrong with me but i really just want it to go away. I can't take it no more, This is not who i am i really just want to be myself again. I try to explain myself to my fiance, which i feel so horrible to because a few days before he proposed to me i started with my anxiety and i still question why he popped the question. But he has stuck by me and has not gave up on me! I also just feel like a horrible mother because of these thoughts even though i know that i would never nor could ever do anything to every hurt my children they just scare the crap out me! I know they are just thoughts but truly they are the most worst thoughts any parent could have and its very hard to deal with.
So anyways i have joined this form to have someone to talk to because i feel so alone in this whole situation!