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Author Topic: I am so tired of not feeling good all the time....  (Read 576 times)

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Offline crissy82

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I am so tired of not feeling good all the time....
« on: March 30, 2012, 12:03:56 PM »
My body aches everywhere. My stomach is constantly messed up. I can't eat. All I want to do is sleep but my mind won't let me. I get weird twitches. My skin feel like it is on fire at times. I vision goes blurry from time to time. I just don't feel good. I want to feel good again. I want to be myself again. The way I was a month ago. I don't understand why this is happening to me. This is my 5th HA attack in 4 1/2 years. And one of my worst. I want to enjoy life again. Without fear. Without being scared. Without crying.  :traurig001:
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Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Offline sixpack

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Re: I am so tired of not feeling good all the time....
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2012, 01:45:05 PM »
yep HA and anxiety, in general, is not an enjoyable thing to work with. 

Once you start taking pro-active steps to combat the faulty thinking and get your mind calmed down, you will start to feel better.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline greend

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Re: I am so tired of not feeling good all the time....
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2012, 01:49:31 PM »
You will feel fine again crissy.  First off you have to believe it.  Are you doing anything for your anxiety? ie.  yoga, meditation, exercise, eating properly and one of the big ones for me, reading self help books.  Check out a book called Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn.  It's very insightful and makes you feel so hopeful while reading it. 

I hope you feel well soon.  Try to stay positive, as difficult as this can be at times.
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Offline floridaguy65

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Re: I am so tired of not feeling good all the time....
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2012, 02:02:23 PM »
Hi C:) Yes, it can really be awful dealing with anxiety. I believe you said you are about to start counseling / therapy. This is a proactive step (as Sixpack mentioned having to be proactive in her reply to you, I see:). Hopefully, you can learn to embrace a lot of the habits, actions and mindsets in which you might discuss in your counseling. Your greatest source of strength and the most powerful ways for you to find lasting peace will, ultimately, come from you - yourself. Lots of time we do need some help in getting going in the right direction and some guidance in learning about counterproductive habits. Can you find in any relief in going back in time and remembering how bad those other HA flare ups seemed to be at that time. As typical, we nearly always feel that 'this time' is IT....'this time' is worse than all the others. But, you lived through all your past serious hyper HA episodes. What is so different about this one? If we can find a moment of clarity, then we probably would answer that question saying, "Well, most likely not too much is different".

When we feel we might be 'likely' to die or be incapacitated, then there isn't a whole lot worse it can get in our minds. I know how it sure can be nearly paralyzing, at times - the fear. As before, the dominate fear will subside. If we are able to learn how to better help ourselves, then the may subside much quicker:)

There is always help and hope:)

Peace and Feel Well:)
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Offline crissy82

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Re: I am so tired of not feeling good all the time....
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2012, 02:04:08 PM »
I am not doing yoga or anything like that. Right now I have been on Zoloft for 3 weeks. I was on it for 4 years but stopped it because I thought I could handle things without it. That was 2 1/2 months ago. And I take Ativan as needed. And I start CBT on Monday. I am hardly eating anything because I feel sick to my stomach. I was exercising before this "attack" happened. Walking and doing Zumba. Then like out of no where it just hits me. I feel so hopeless right now. So alone. So lost. So sad.
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Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Offline vardnas

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Re: I am so tired of not feeling good all the time....
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2012, 03:47:48 PM »
Therapy, drugs, exercise, meditation, eating well, yoga, whatever you choose to do, remember:  all of these things take TIME. Unfortunately.

I experienced my first panic attack almost a year ago to the day. And while I have not had an actual panic attack for quite some time now, it has taken my body a long, long time to get back to "normal." I would say that just now, a year later, things are starting to look familiar like they did before I experienced all my anxiety. That's a year of weekly counseling, eight months of anti-anxiety meds, two nutritionists, a life coach, a chiropractor and A LOT of crying and prayers and emotional support.

And that's the almost beautiful thing about this process. It's more than just about "how can I get rid of this health anxiety so that I can feel 'normal?'" I've started to see it as an opportunity to grow, to see that my HA is a mask for a lot of things in my life that I'm not happy about, or deep-seated issues that now, finally, I've admitted that I need to work through. It's a chance to get healthier, in both body and mind, and to create a new "normal." A better normal. Sure, life's not perfect, but I find that I have an overall better outlook on life; I'm more focused on the things I want to accomplish and less worried all the time.

So, we all understand the fear and the sadness and the loneliness that you're experiencing. We've ALL been there. I encourage you to embrace those things and push through them. Let this time of getting on top of your anxiety be a time of self discovery. It might not "feel" great in the moment, but trust me, slogging through those hard moments can lead to a much better way of life.

Much encouragement to you.
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In case anyone is still confused:  googling your symptoms will cause you to remain in a state of extreme anxiety. Stepping away from the internet is the first step toward lasting peace.

Offline floridaguy65

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Re: I am so tired of not feeling good all the time....
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2012, 05:10:27 PM »
I am not doing yoga or anything like that.  Perhaps you can. Why not try? If not yoga, per se, how about stretching and some time for some peaceful visualizations and some positive affirmation time (light meditation maybe). Often, when we get hyped up, our foggy minds choose to believe that habits and actions like these won't work - or they won't work for ME (you).  They don't work until they do:) And, I'm not trying to sound trite, I assure you. Practice and patience are vital.

Right now I have been on Zoloft for 3 weeks. I was on it for 4 years but stopped it because I thought I could handle things without it. That was 2 1/2 months ago. And I take Ativan as needed. To me, meds alone tend to not get us to where we desire in our lasting solace. Sure meds can help, and have helped many peeps. Many peeps find peace without meds, as well. IMHO, meds are best to balance us out enough to where we have clarity and mental (and physical) energy so that we are able to truly learn how to embrace all the OTHER actions (taking a med is an action), habits and mindsets that can potentially afford us the best chance of staying on our healing path longterm. If we don't take the time, while benefiting from the med, to learn how to best help ourselves through other actions, then we might be faced with a much more difficult journey when we desire to come off our meds, wanting to find lasting solace without the aid of a med. Continuing with our productive habits and actions, when we are feeling pretty good, is pretty darn important, as well. It is more of an, overall, lifestyle change and an embracing of a different outlook on life, perhaps. This is not meant to make seeking lasting peace sound so wildly challenging that few accomplish it, and that we have to give ourselves a 100% makeover, at all. Easy? Nope. Challenging? Yes. Doable? Yes. We do still have to be true to ourselves and our personality and our personal makeup:)

And I start CBT on Monday. I am hardly eating anything because I feel sick to my stomach. I was exercising before this "attack" happened. Walking and doing Zumba. Then like out of no where it just hits me. I feel so hopeless right now. So alone. So lost. So sad.  Yes, as Vardnas said...we ALL have felt like this. And, it's crushing, at times, when we are struggling. When given an, overall, clean bill of health we do have to exercise as it helps prove to our anxious minds that there really isn't anything sinister lurking in our bods. Our bods are not failing us, as we can believe when struggling. Can you begin again? It really is vital. Push through any trepidation, as it is so worth the reward. But, you know this...you've done it before:) Just start again:)

Awesome with moving forward with therapy. Believe it will help....believe it. And, be ready to practice and embrace actions and habits and mindsets that can move you down your healing path from anxiety:) Another Doc visit or med test will NOT move you down your healing path. Keep in mind that HA is a mental health issue, OVERWHELMINGLY. There is nothing really 'medical' about HA.

Peace and Feel Well:)

AWESOME reply, too, Vardnas!:)
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