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Author Topic: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder  (Read 121181 times)

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Offline samandthecity

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #615 on: May 30, 2014, 11:17:33 PM »
Hi there, I'm here because I suffer from terrible health anxiety and I need some support. I'm 32, married with two little boys (3 and 7 months), and I'm a nurse. I have always been anxious about my health but it started to get really bad about 10 years ago. The first time was over a twitch that I had in my finger. I basically convinced myself that I had MS or ALS. Over the years I have had all sorts of symptoms the I've convinced myself are various diseases, even when the doctor does all sorts of bloodwork and tells me I'm ok. My health anxiety flared up pretty bad when I was on mat leave with my first son, and now that I'm on mat leave again, it's been terrible. My current worry is over a couple of different things that have recently happened. About two weeks ago, I was in bed sleeping and I think I had some sort of weird muscle spasm in my face. I remember actually rubbing my face in my sleep to try and loosen it up. I didn't remember about this until late the next day, and even then I wasn't sure if it had actually happened or if it was a dream. I tried not to think about it but subconsciously I couldn't help it and silently obsessed over it for about a week, wondering if the weird muscle spasm would happen again. Then a couple of days ago, I was over at my parent's house just sitting at the table when all of a sudden I had this awful dizzy spell. It felt like the whole room was spinning. I immediately checked my blood pressure, which was fine. So since that incident I've been having terrible anxiety. Muscle twitching, a sore face, tight throat, feeling like I'm in a dream. It's awful. I don't even really know what I'm worried about now, it's like the physical manifestations of anxiety have taken over my body and I just can't seem to shake it. I'm thinking that maybe I just had a lot of different stressors building up and now this is the result. This mat leave has been quite difficult for me. My baby was born 2 months premature (my first was the same) and he was in the nicu for almost 6 weeks before he could come home. Then he came home but still had feeding issues, the he had evening colic and my older one was in the worst stage of terrible twos. Now we're having some financial trouble because my hubby's work is kind of slow and my mat leave top up has run out. I'm trying desperately to get my pre-baby body back with no success. I'm sucking at the stay at home mom thing, I can't keep my house clean :( . My hubby doesn't really get the whole health anxiety thing. He never really knows what to say to me...usually just something like, "yah I dunno, I'm sure it's nothing. Maybe go to the doctor". But then, really, what else do I want him to say? Anyways, that's my story. Thanks for reading. It's good to read other people's posts and see that I'm not alone.
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Offline Aly231990

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #616 on: June 02, 2014, 08:38:29 PM »
I am 23 and I have very bad anxiety. I first experienced anxiety when I was 14. I didn't have it that bad then. Now it is extremely bad. I can't do anything without my heart racing and not being able to breathe right. I also feel like fainting sometimes. I had it rough in April, I actually felt like fainting every day and had chest pain. I was also getting married in July until the panic attacks occurred. Now I have to wait until I am better and I don't know when that is going to happen. I feel alright some days now but I still have a problem breathing right. I find myself concentrating on my breathing. I had a hard time sleeping because of it. Any one with ideas that will help me with anxiety?
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Offline perpetualrebound

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #617 on: June 07, 2014, 03:56:30 PM »
This is a bit of a sad thread so I hoped maybe I could lighten it up a bit at my expense. The absolute funniest panic attack (if there is such a thing) happened to me about 3 years ago. I was in one of my downward spirals and having terribe health anxiety. The load at work was driving me further into myself and I was terrified that I had all kinds of stuff from stomach cancer to colon cancer to lymphoma. You name it, I had it. I finally decided to start and see if I could solve some of my ailments, one of which was a very tight throat and headaches. I finally summoned the courage to go to the chiropractor (because a doctor was too scary :sprachlos020:)

Being that it was my first visit, they ran me through the whole gamut of checks and pictures and of course the dreaded X-RAY!!!! Needless to say I was absolutley terrified. Thoughts of grimm looks from the x-ray tech and rejection of help flooded my mind. I just knew that we those pictures were developed they would announce my death sentence and send me home to write up my will.

Finally after what seemed like hours the chiropractor came over with my x-rays and put them on the screen for evaluation. I was mortified by what I saw. My neck looked like someone had smashed my head down and it bent two different ways, my back was hunched over from the protective stance I had been in for months and then the ultimate horror came true. In the exact spot where I had this strange pinchy/tingly feeling in my abdomen was a 3 inch dark black spot! I dont think I heard one other word out of the chiropractors mouth after I saw that. All my fears were confirmed!

Finally the doctor stopped talking and giving his recommendations for treatment but strangely he never mentioned the spot. I though to myself "Surely he sees that!". Then I got to thinking maybe he just didnt care. Maybe he was only concerned with my bones. Before he turned to walk away I summoned the courage to ask him about the big black spot on the x-ray. I relayed my tingly/pinchy feeling to him and my utter terror of cancer and very timidly pointed out the spot and asked him if this was cancer. With a very slight grin and tremendous bedside manner he looked and said :Oh no, it lust looks like you need to fart. That is just some trapped gas" Needless to say I relaxed on the way home and finally got rid of some trapped gas.
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Offline beautifuldisaster123

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #618 on: June 12, 2014, 03:14:21 AM »
Wow I thought I was alone in this struggle.

I'll sum it up a bit. Well I'm 16 high school senior. I'm not sure where my anxiety cam from I was always a happy little girl. I think it came from being bullied in 6th grade anyway. It started in 9th grade. I didn't want to go to school I didn't want to anything. But when my grandma died at the end of 9th grade. It became horrible. I pretty much messed up my entire year of 10 grade. When I started my new school I only went for a month then transferred to basically a bunch of independent studies. But this year has been worse. I went back to regular school. I forced myself. I wanted to be normal. I practically went a couple days every week. I have missed about half the school year. I wake up and have panic attack just becuz it's school. I still don't get why it's so bad all it is is school. It's nothing bad. But my panic attacks got worse and worse. I made myself throw and get sick to my stomache. My mom told me I wasn't trying, or I was lying. I started having panic attacks in school and started to freak out. One time in math something triggered a panic attack and my mom didn't answer her phone and I was heaving and puffing and crying and people stared at me. I didn't know what to do. I even went to the officiant hey told me I was fine and sent me on my way. Anyway I'm starting my senior year next year. I'm so terrified I barly got by this year. I push myself and push myself becuz everyone expects me to. Anyway I'm seeing a therapist. I just started going. Since I'm not in school my anxiety isn't as bad I mean it's bad but not as bad when I'm in school. I'm just wondering am I the only one that's afraid to go to school. And I'm glad that there is a website like this maybe we can all help each other no matter the age. And I hope all of you above are okay. I guess we have to find the strength to get through day to day right. Sorry for any typos by the way. I'm not very good at grammar
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Offline alexandrarodz

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #619 on: June 13, 2014, 05:41:22 PM »
A few months ago decided to go to a concert with my friends and my boyfriend. At this concert we decided we were going to take ecstasy. Well the effects hit us, then eventually wore off. Some days later I decided to smoke weed. After smoking, my heart started beating fast, and I thought I was having a heart attack, after being calmed down I realized I was just anxious. Some time later I found it difficult to breathe, I was taken to the hospital, but it was just gastritis. After those events, that's when my anxiety started occurring. I got scared for every little thing. I was anxious like this for a few months, then I started getting better. GOD helped me through this tough time. I'm not as bad as I used to be, but I still get anxious.
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Offline Andrew133

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #620 on: June 19, 2014, 09:04:40 PM »
I always have had some sort of social anxiety growing up. I was picked on and bullied from elementary through middle-school. and i was always afraid of people not liking me or things not going right. plus my brother has Asperger syndrome a severe for of autism, so bringing friends home was always difficult or i felt like it wasn't worth it. I didn't want to enplane it to them if something went wrong. I could never handle a relationship, every time I would talk to a girl in school or out side of school (still to this day) that it would never work. As I get older my social anxiety is starting to going away, but its still tough sometimes.

The second part is my now new experience of worrying about my health and depression.

After highschool i was kinda stuck, I knew if i went to college I would drop out at that age. So I got into an apprenticeship and started working and making money and everything was going good. than i got laid off, part of the deal with the trades i knew that. but time went by and no call for work. That's when things just started bothering me like, what im going to do with myself and how crappy a life im going to have. things that would keep me up all night just thinking. after awhile passed still no work i learned my uncle had been diagnosed with lung cancer and has spread to numerous parts of the body. After that I was worried and looked up the symptoms of various forms of cancer. Now I'm just freaked out over every little problem with my body mostly things that go on in the bathroom. I know i'm fine and dont have anything like that. but just the thought of it has me worrying about things.
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Offline kristencanada13

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #621 on: June 20, 2014, 09:39:14 PM »
Hi there;

My name is Kristen and I'm 27 years old. I've been suffering from various forms of anxiety since I was about 15 years old. It started when someone I knew had brain cancer and I watched them slowly deteriorate and eventually pass away. I had never thought about death until then, and after his death I developed severe panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I would have approximately 10-20 thirty minute episodes PER DAY and it got to the point where I was afraid to go to school. I saw various types of therapists and nothing helped in the long run.

After refusing medication and moving cities I was actually doing a lot better! It seems that when I am
busy I tend not to over think things and my symptoms improve. The past year, I have only been able to secure part time employment and find myself bored a lot. This year I have developed crippling health anxiety. I have been to the emergency room approx 50 times for everything you can imagine, and it's always the same; I self diagnose with Dr. google, am convinced I have some rare disease that will
ultimately lead to my premature demise, work myself up into an absolute frenzy, rush to emerg or my doctor and make myself physically ill with worry until the doctor tells me it's nothing. Then, I'm fine for a few days, go back on google and start reading horror stories of people that were misdiagnosed. I then think my doctor must have missed something or is not thorough enough. This happens so often I must have thought I've had every disease you could think of. This month alone I've been convinced that l had anal cancer, tumors in my salivary glands, ovarian cancer, AIDS (when I am a married women who has had only two sexual partners, one being my husband) and just about every other ailment under the sun!

Right now I am convinced that I have lymphoma - I have had a tiny node in my neck for the last year that has actually gone down in size and was confirmed as a "shotty node",  and last week I noticed two nodes in the right groin area that are about a cm in size. I am also quite thin, so they may have always been that way but I have been poking and prodding recently and become obsessed with them. I have a doctors appt for Monday and have been very stressed for the past week about it! I hope I can find some others that are going through the same thing, are rational, intelligent individuals that truly cannot control the obsessive intrusive thoughts that consume the mind and make life much less enjoyable!
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Offline 1manta

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #622 on: June 22, 2014, 11:14:54 AM »
Great stories, i will keep my mine brief. I was always shy, just thought that was me. A good student but social nothing.
 Around 20 i had my first panic attack from out of nowhere. I had several more in the next few years and never knew what they were, very scary.  Then i discovered Alcohol could cure then easily and i wasn't afraid of them again really, but I still had problems leaving my house and didn't know why. It was the fear even though I had a cure, and i wasn't  really conscious of this  until 30 years later, i made the connection. I have had addictions with alcohol off and on, detox center 3 times, the anxiety of withdrawal is horrible, that is when i found Valium like medicines work well, and for panic  also. I use  some 'breathing" and meditation now, but at this point in time i am again addicted to alcohol and trying to get off. I recommend Drs as I wasted many years just thinking i was shy and not knowing what a panic attack was.
Thank you.
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Offline kcousar

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #623 on: July 01, 2014, 03:00:59 PM »
Hi my name is kc and I have schizoaffective disorder. My illness started around the time I was 20 I am now 25. I was I'm college dancing and majoring in French. I guess I was under too much stress. In 2007 I had 2 masses removed 1 from each breast to make sure it wasn't breast cancer. When I was a junior in college I started to believe that my parents implanted a tracking device and we're watching me from Alabama. ( I was living in ny at the time). So I cut a hole in my chest thinking I could dig it out my aunt walked n on me doing it and immediately rushed me to the er. I stayed in the hospital and was put on seroquil. I was forced to drop out of school and return home. Since then I've been in and out of hospitals for depression and trying to hurt myself. My family can tell I'm going through a manic episode because I change my hair style significantly. ( I had long dreads and cut them off ) this happened for weeks then the put me on lithium it worked but I had bad tremors and cogent in didn't work. I've seen many doctors around AL for this illness and have tried loads of meds to try to get myself together. I can't finish school I can't work I feel so lost right now

I also have obsessive-compulsive disorder. This sounds a bit strange but this is what happens. I trace everything with my eyes I don't write it on paper just in my head. I color in blue eyes by circling to the right, brown eyes to up and down, and green eyes to the left, etc... It causes me a lot of anxiety because I can't watch tv or read without tracing objects in my head I just can't stop. I've tried therapy and a couple of medications but all to no avail. I tried to commit ***** in March but failed. I've been seriously depressed mainly because my grandpa died a month ago and we were very close. I don't want to die anymore but I just want the pain to subside I feel like no one understands me and I'm all alone. I was also sexually and verbally abused as a child. Can anyone help?
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Offline Hoosier_Student

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #624 on: July 02, 2014, 07:29:41 PM »
The first time I suffered an anxiety episode was when I was a sophomore in the university.  I was taking organic chemistry and sophomore biology - two very stressful courses.  I notices I was having trouble sleeping because of worry about my classes.  Then, when I went home for Thanksgiving break, my whole world started to break down.  After our Thanksgiving meal, I noticed that I was getting nervous about having to leave back for college in a few days and the inevitable exams that would be waiting for me.  I started to feel dizzy, so I sat down in a chair and tried to calm myself.  However, nothing seemed to work, instead I started to think weird existential thoughts (e.g. what is life?  what is time? etc.). I was afraid that I was having a psychotic break!  That episode led me to the hospital where I was convinced that I was dying or going insane.  Luckily, the doctors realized that it was just a panic attack.  Still, it took me a while to get back to normal.

Since then I have had several more anxiety episodes.  These episodes have lasted anywhere from a few weeks to several months.  They always proceeded by periods of prolonged stress and feelings of confinement.  Therefore, I am hoping to be able to break this cycle.
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Offline juanita39

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #625 on: July 06, 2014, 08:44:51 AM »
Hi everyone
 
I was 23 when I was diagnosed global anxiety.  I am married now with two grown up daughters and toddler and understanding husband
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Offline sophiesufc

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #626 on: July 14, 2014, 07:41:11 AM »
Okay so my first experience with an anxiety disorder was when one of my teachers recognised compulsive traits and had a talk with me. I trusted her and was very grateful for the support she gave me. My friends also started noticing things too and quizzing me about them so I decided to go to the doctor to nail it on the head. I'm really bad for checking and luckily, this has gotten better over the past year or so but I still check locks on my car, my windows and doors and I still think obsessively about people being okay, if that makes sense. For example, if my parents have gone out and say they'll be back in half an hour, once that half an hour is over, I panic and have to call/text/get in contact with them; I don't take into account factors like traffic, queues etc. I have also been quite back for symptom checking too, which my family picked up on first; hypochondria also runs in my family so that had to get assessed too.

In May last year, my grandmother was diagnosed with a heart problem and this one time I had to go to an appointment with her. That morning, I got up and I had such a tight chest and real bad abdominal pain. I felt really ill and I'd never felt like I did that day ever before, it was really strange. My heart felt like it was going to shoot out my chest; I decided to check my blood pressure on the little machine we have at home (my mums a nurse and likes having things like this in the house). I've got real knowledge of biology so I knew that the reading was bad and way too high for my age/weight/height etc. My grandmother said how I looked pale and asked me if anything was wrong but I covered it up, regardless of how terrified I was. My dad got home later that day when I was making a drink and I burst into tears explaining how I felt I was going to die but he ignored me and said I was being over the top (looking back, I sorta was)... My mum got home around 8pm that evening and I told her straight away. She took my BP and said how it was way too high especially my pulse that was over 100bpm. We ended up ringing the 111 service and I got took to the emergency doctor surgery for 10:45pm. The doctor mentioned anxiety and asked whether there was any diagnosis' in the family and I had numerous checks done; oxygen in blood level, more blood pressure, heart listened to, abdominal checks etc. I was then admitted to the hospital where I had to have more checks done. I had an ECG (EKG in the USA) took of my heart and luckily that came back fine, so that relaxed me a lot. However, the doctor found a heart murmur so yeah that worried me more. I was in and out of hospital for the next two weeks, I had lots of time off school and I also failed the first year of my A Levels so this year I've had to resit. I got diagnosed with social anxiety, generalised anxiety disorder, phobias and panic disorder overall throughout many long, tiring doctors appointments.

In the past year, not a lot has improved and I know its gonna be a long ride but I'm determined to get better! I'm not on any medication as my doctor feels it isn't right for me until I've tried numerous counselling "types". But school has not been so supportive so the counselling I was meant to get from the school has never actually happened or started. The doctors have tried and tried but nothing has happened, so I sorta gave up. I don't really have a supportive family and most the time, they just forget about it and pretend it doesn't exist; I guess they don't want a mentally ill child but I do have a very supportive older brother, group of friends and boyfriend so they keep me slightly positive and give me hope. Recently I took a big step and self referred myself to steps4change which is a free service for young people in my area with mental illness. I really hope this works and helps me.

So yeah, thats my story.  :yes: 
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Offline WDae

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #627 on: July 14, 2014, 12:06:15 PM »
This ended up being way longer than I thought it would be. My apologies for that. This is my first post on the forums. I found it while trying to find if there was a name for my rocking behavior, and was actually a bit happy to see that there are other people like me around.

I don't remember when I first started having anxiety. I was raped the first time at age 9, then molested by two different male family members from ages 9-14 and 12-16 respectively. I was the victim of rape at their hands numerous times, as well as some of my "friends" when I was a teenager. I had issues with depression following the first rape, and it didn't help that when I told my mother about it, and she witnessed my torn clothing and such.... she accused me of doing it to myself for attention. When I told my step-mother about the molestation by my brother-in-law from 9-14, I was told that I was only getting what I deserved, and to shut up about it. At age 13, my two step sisters closest in age to myself filed rape charges against my dad. I vehemently denied that he had ever touched me inappropriately. (Absolutely true, he never had) I hated both of them for causing me to have to go live with my mother, instead of my beloved father.

When I was 18, I got engaged. I was married at 19. He was physically abusive, and liked to pass me around to his friends on the weekends. I called the police on him several times, and each time I was told that if I would "just be a proper wife, he wouldn't have to do that." (I lived in a small town, with a very good-ole-boy system at work) We had 2 sons together. He raped me the first time 3 hours after I delivered our first son, right in the hospital. Two weeks later, I was pregnant again. With my first pregnancy, the beatings stopped while I was pregnant. Not so much with the second. They weren't as severe, but they still happened. Each time I would try to escape from him, which I didn't manage to successfully do until 2005, I would get pictures in my email of the bruises my children were wearing because I couldn't take them with me. Each time I would go back, to keep him from abusing them. When I was finally able to get a divorce, I got custody of my sons.

I started dating someone new, and had a son and a daughter with him. Each delivery involved more blood loss than the previous one. My OB attributed it to the beatings from my ex. I finally was able to get a tubal done after my daughters birth, with the specter of possibly not surviving another birth hanging over my head. I was working 45-50 hours a week, graveyard shift, and trying to raise 4 kids. I was still suffering from depression, and it spiraled out of control. Eventually, the state was called, because there was no way I could be taking care of my kids properly, working that kind of schedule, with no baby sitter during the day. This was true enough. I was overwhelmed and I knew it, though I didn't want to admit it at the time. My two oldest went to stay with their grandmother, and my two youngest went to stay with their aunt, while I tried to get a grip on things. I saw my oldest two often, but not the youngest two. She stopped answering the door, and stopped answering our calls. She would leave the store if she saw us come in and she had the kids with her. We had absolutely no contact with them. We still haven't. That was in 2009. She filed for adoption in 2010, on grounds of abandonment. She changed their last names, after we were forced into signing the papers.

I need to back up a bit here, though. With all 4 kids staying elsewhere, my depression got bad enough that I ended up getting fired from work. My fiance, the father of my youngest two, followed in about a month. He had also fallen into a downward spiral of depression. We were both hit with child support papers, at this time, also. Over the course of the next few months, the back support charges just kept increasing, as each month we couldn't make the payments, since we couldn't find work. Our gas was shut off. Then our electric. Then our house was foreclosed on. Finally, we lost our vehicles as well. He moved in with his mother, and I moved in with my dad and step mom.

That winter, I lived in a room with no electricity, heat, or ceiling. The roof leaked. I had to staple trash bags to the rafters to channel the water away from my bed. Half of the room was filled with.... stuff. My step mother bordered on being a hoarder, and that room was where she did most of it. When my older step sister moved out, I moved into another bedroom, and never looked back at that one. I was arrested that summer, for missing a court date I didn't know about. I spent 26 days in jail; my social anxiety reached it's peak at this point. We had 10 women staying in one pod. That pod had 2 toilets, 4 beds, 2 sinks, and no windows. We were allowed to shower twice a week. It was a little slice of hell. After that, I could barely even go outside without freaking out and having a panic attack. Having more than 1 or 2 people around me was enough to send me into a full on panic attack.

My step mom had a heart attack, and went to live with my step sister in another state, leaving me at home with just my dad. He started hinting that he could use some..... sexual favors... and since no one else was around, I should perform them. He admitted that all those years ago, he had been guilty of what my two younger step sisters accused him of. That he HAD done it, and that he had shared them with my brother in law. The same one that had been molesting me that entire time as well. Finding this out kinda tipped my world onto it's ear. I had spent my entire life with my dad being my hero, and now to find out that he was a pedophile, the thing I hated most in the world.... It was horrible and horrifying. I moved through a couple of relationships after that, mostly of a 6-8 month duration. The one I'm in now, my boyfriend is incredibly supportive, but having never been through anything like this, he doesn't really understand.

My dad had a stroke last week, and it seems to have dredged up everything I thought I had put behind me. I'm now having full color, full surround sound flashbacks of the sexual abuses from my childhood. I'm on Zoloft and Ativan for my GAD and as an emergency stop-gap medicine for when it gets really bad. I'm at least able to go to the store now, sort of, but that's about the extent of it. I can still only handle going about once a month or so. I don't leave the yard more than once a month, in fact, and I leave the house daily to check the mail, but that's about as far as I can get. I have to force myself to go to the store, rather than just letting my boyfriend do it and be done with it.

I rock or swing my leg all the time. I pick at my skin constantly. Loud noises, or even running into my boyfriend unexpectedly will result in a panic attack. Because of my nightmares, we no longer even sleep in the same room. I can't sleep in the dark anymore. I either sleep during the day, or I have to have a light on. I'm currently using a small lamp beside the bed. I can't put my back to a door or a window. People walking or standing behind me freaks me out. Having to deal with an official of any sort (even someone like a bank teller or a store manager) sends me into panic attacks with crying fits. I haven't found anyone that can figure out precisely what's wrong with me, other than a traumatic childhood and a dysfunctional family. GAD and depression is all I've been officially diagnosed of. I have several other physical problems, swelling and joint stiffness, swelling in my back along my spinal cord that comes and goes, and other things of that nature. So far, we're going with Psoriatic Arthritis for the joints, but other than putting cream on the rash, I'm not on any medication for it as yet.
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Offline Afox95

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #628 on: July 16, 2014, 01:23:06 AM »
Hello everyone, I was wondering if anyone had any input on my situation. So I've had symptoms of anxiety my whole life, it was particularly worse ages 8-14 but I still suffer from it. My parents both have this disorder, and since I've heard it's genetic, this makes my self-diagnosis more concrete. I used to have panic attacks occasionally between those ages, but haven't had any since (I am an 18 year old male by the way). So in general I am introverted, I don't really talk much, but am pretty outgoing when with close friends. I also have self-esteem issues/some depression, always have. I'm often displeased with my appearance and performance in even the simplest of tasks(worried I'll screw it up, or convince myself I did a poor job afterwards). Some People have even told me that I should be a model or something (they think I'm really attractive) but I still constantly worry about my self-image. Most times people compliment me, I don't believe them, I actually believe they have poor judgement. I'm not sure if any of this has to do with anxiety, but I'm just explaining everything. The biggest problem for me lately has been lack of focus, which I, again, have always struggled with. I was diagnosed with ADD, and have been on Adderall for about 2-3 months. It definitely makes me feel good; it puts me in a good mood, drastically improves self-image, makes me more outgoing, and so on. However I'm still not exactly sure if it has a noticeable effect on concentration.  This makes me think that anxiety is the root of my problems. Something I've noticed, whenever someone asks me a question (only people I'm not really comfortable with, i.e. Co-workers, teachers, acquaintances ), I immediately panic, dreading I'm going to say something stupid, or will be wrong if they're asking a question that requires some actual thought. It's pretty abnormal now that I think about it. And often, this panic results in me not thinking before answering and actually giving an answer that  doesn't make sense, because I respond almost immediately and speak very fast. I guess that is a SAD thing. Other than that, I have shortness of breath, I fidget almost constantly, and feel restless all the time. Any advice is appreciated. Still considering medication for anxiety, but we're likely going to try lifestyle changes/therapy. Thanks!
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Offline Tyler.inkobsession

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Re: Personal Stories of Anxiety Disorder
« Reply #629 on: July 18, 2014, 12:04:20 AM »
My anxiety started when I was in sixth grade because on the fkrst day of school I relaized everyone was skinnier then , having been skinny right up intoll tthe summer before hand it never came toind to me even though through my whole elementary years being the child inwas I did what kids do and I ate alot of junk food and instead of being told hey its bad to eat all that have an apple my familly decided it was easyer to justbtell me repetitively through everybday, every week, every year that if I kept eating like that inwas gama get obece and die as a kid. So when I realized I did gain alittle my anxiety started which caused me to gain faster, and I also delt with constant bullys so by the time 8th grade was ending I was 5,3 and 160 pounds and full of self loathing. So I starved myself down that summer and got to 130 before school started. Scence then I have had horrible self esteem issues, suffer from anorexia though I hate to admit it and I cant leave the house without changeing oytfits fice times because I look like ***** to myself. I constantly have panic attacks about my body and eeverytime I notice something new. I cant sleep at night because I feel like if I go to sleep I will die and not wake up. And haveing been suicidal I used to welcome the thought. But now I have something to live for and I dont want it to be over. Ive been working very hard to work out instead of not eat for days at a time when I have a panic attack and ive been self harm clean for 5 months. Still suffer from daily panic attacks but I will get past this.
Thank you for reading my story
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