I know exactly how you feel. I too have a huge fear of doctors because of that dreadful moment when they say, "you're a goner". My biggest fear is the GYN. I haven't been to one in years. It's been one of the many things that has held me back from having kids. I also had some bad experiences w/PCPs over the years(one actually made fun of the possibility of me having a panic attack) which didn't help.
I did finally find a PCP that I could trust(I could never be totally doc free because of work-needing notes and stuff and I need my scripts for xanax and wellbutrin). On my first visit, I came right out and told him(through tears of terror mind you) about my anxiety issues and bad experiences w/other docs. He's understanding of my fears and has been helping me work out my GYN fears as well. It wasn't easy though. It wasn't until my panic/anxiety and depression got so bad from not knowing and/or my symptoms got so bad, I had no choice.
I know it's hard and very scary when thinking about seeing a doc. I'm trying to get in the mindset now to go for a problem I know will probably require bloodwork or worse, but the symptoms are starting to take it's toll on me. Try to start looking for a doc that you can trust and understands your fears now before you have an emergency that only a doc can help you with. The last thing you need is end up with some jerk like what happened to me, during something that can be frightening for HA-ers like us. I had a "woman" issue over the summer that HAD to be addressed by my doc. There was nothing I could do to make it go away on my own. Was I terrified? Yes, but at least I could go knowing he would be understanding.
It's hard I know, and only you will know when you are ready to go. It's easier to avoid when you are young-I know. I did it. But as we get older, things come up that we can't avoid, so working it out sooner rather than later might be a plus. It stinks I know. I guess just try to take some comfort knowing that you aren't alone.