I have been diagnosed with GAD, along with Severe clinical depression, anxiety, ocd, high blood pressure, Heart attack-(stent fitted in right coronory artery)- and a AAA (abdominal aortic aneurysm-stent fitted)
Ok, I got over the heart attack or so I thought, then I had the AAA and that was fitted with an EVAR stent.
Shortly after that my troubles began, although I have had severe depression for about 20 years.
I find I worry over trivial things to the point that it severly impacts my quality of life.
I had a letter yesterday from the local council stating that under the new legislation I may have to move from my home to a smaller one as I have more bedrooms in my house than I need, and that this would reflect in my rent rebate being so low I would not be able to afford the rent on my home.
I went into GAD overdrive, I felt sick, terrified, couldn't sleep, tremors and a gnawing sensation in my stomach (I have a peptic ulcer by the way) all in all last night I thought I was going to die by means of a stroke or another heart attack due to my high blood pressure.
Then this morning I woke up in a terrible state of anxiety, I sat at the kitchen table drinking tea worrying myself sick, Then it dawned on me, I don't claim housing benefits. I pay the rent for my house in full myself.
I phoned the council and was put through to the department that sent me the letter only to be told it was sent by mistake and to simply ignore it.
My point is, why do I go into such a state over trivial things that are ruining my life.
I worry ridiculously over things like one brake light out on my car (even though I am quite capable of changing the bulb myself)
And another thing was the tumble dryer was tripping all the electrics n the house as soon as you turned it on, even though it was still under warranty and they sent a guy out who fixed it, but still I worried myself sick.
Another bad habit I have is catastrophizing health issues like my peptic ulcer, I'm not even sure if it is an ulcer, my doc said it was due to the low strength aspirin I take daily for my heart attack I had in 2007, he said aspirin is a NSAID and they are notorious for burning the lining of the stomach which causes a burnin/gnawing pain, he perscribed me some tablets for it and I must admit it is getting much better. BUT I have conviced myself his diagnosis is wrong and I have stomach cancer
I am under the care of a physc doc (although I think he believes there is only one antidepressant, Mirtazapine, which doesn't bloody work at all for me, I am sick of telling him but he simply wont listen) and also have CBT and OT at my local mental health care centre.
what the hell is going on with my mind and how can I stop it please.
Sorry for the long post and after reading through it it appears I have had a little rant as well, please forgive me.
regards and best wishes