Hi T:) I feel ya':) Welcome!
Look around this website and read as many posts as you can to see that you're, certainly, not alone - far from it. When we get in a bad place, it can seem like there is no coming back from it. But, I've 'been to the edge', so to speak, and I've been moving quite well down my healing path for many years now. Do I still have interactions with my anxiety / panic issues? Sure. But, our issues do not have to create gigantic lifeflow interruptions, as they have been shown to do, for sure. Of course it is NOT easy getting some lasting peace. There is can be a lot of exasperating trial and error in finding out what is the best course of action for you, as you know by now. Never give up! This will fail. You, of course, will not get any lasting relief if you give up.
Might you consider another therapist?
Maybe a med again? Meds are very personal, we have to do what we feel is right, of course.
What do you do as far as self-help work? Meditation, visualizations, affirmations, journaling, deep diaphragmatic breathing, self help books, learning about anxiety and panic, exercise, diet, etc.
It takes a pretty diligent gameplan to start moving in the right direction, often. Don't get overwhelmed at everything that might help. Start again slow, learn about a few of ways you can help yourself.
Acceptance, to me, is vital. We have to accept a good deal of our 'lot in life', but we do not have to resign ourselves to letting the 'bad stuff' define us as a whole. We CAN learn how to live quite well along with our anxiety / panic issues. Easy? Nope. But, it is worth every bit of calm, determined, effort you can muster up. The alternative isn't very promising. There is always help and hope:)
Peace and Feel Well:)