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Author Topic: Depression and Intermittent Explosive Disorder  (Read 2786 times)

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Offline malapp1

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Depression and Intermittent Explosive Disorder
« on: January 26, 2011, 08:27:22 AM »
Does anyone suffer from, or know of anyone who is suffering from Depression and Intermittent Explosive Disorder.  I am in dire need of help, my marriage is about to end and my wife is going to trial for Domestic Violence and Assault.

My wife is 51 and she has been diagnosed with Major Depression and she does not take her medication.  In the past, there has been alcohol and marijuana abuse.   She has never had a relationship that has lasted more than three years.  She has frequent outburst of rage and anger.  The anger has turned violent on several occasions.

Most recently, just before Christmas she had a violent outburst.  During this episode, she turned violent and was subsequently arrested for domestic violence.  She was under a tremendous amount of stress associated with her childís hospitalization for a psychotic episode.
 
Normally, she first becomes withdrawn and then she will start subtle but purposeful verbal attacks that continue to escalate with no provocation.  This will normally take one to two days.  Usually, she will become very angry and extremely abusive towards loved ones.  Frequently, these episodes will lead to a physical attack.

She does not remember what she was mad about, she will take some meaningless reason and use it as justification and ignore whatever it is she did.  I have seen these episodes last for days or even weeks.  She has seen pictures of what she did during this last attack.  Despite the photos and her arrest, she does not believe that she did it.  She canít remember what she was angry about and is so certain that she didnít do it, she has plead innocent to the charges.

Yesterday, a friend attempted to converse with her about the attack.  She is adamant that the attack was justified but refuses to acknowledge that she did it.  She has absolutely no idea what set her off and continues to hold the belief that it wasnít her.

Can anyone cast some light on this subject.
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Offline Grandma

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Re: Depression and Intermittent Explosive Disorder
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2011, 02:08:45 PM »
Hi malapp1 -

I am sorry that you and your wife are so caught up in this nightmare.

At this point, I could do a little research on Intermittent Explosive Disorder and, as you say, cast some light on this subject, but you can do this yourself.

I am assuming that your wife at some point was evaluated by a mental health professional in order for her to be given this diagnosis.  If she is not currently in therapy, I would suggest that you try to persuade her to begin.  Whether or not your wife receives therapy, please consider seeing a therapist yourself to help you learn how to cope with your wife's illness and to make decisions about how to proceed in your marriage.

Love, Grandma
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Offline GenSec

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Re: Depression and Intermittent Explosive Disorder
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2011, 04:16:27 PM »
Hello Malapp,

Your description of your wife's behaviour reminds me a bit of my mother.

She is diagnosed manic depressive and takes medication. Usually she is a very nice person but at times of stress or worry she begins to change in behaviour. First, as you said of your wife, she will begin to become withdrawn and want to be on her own, then little snide and negative comments start to keep cropping up. It will then escalate to full verbal insults and put downs over nothing at all, such as not closing the kitchen door or turning a light off. The comments and can become very nasty and personal, and she begin to basically start an argument even though no one is arguing back with her. You can't seem to win, because if you argue back she goes ballistic, but if you ignore her, that REALLY winds her up because she hates being ignored.
She has been violent in the past during such episodes, however not towards people but towards objects and things.

Like your wife, when it is all over she claims not to remember what happened, nothing happened. There was no argument and no insults dished out. However i suspect she does remember, because for days afterwards she will start to buy gifts and other things for no reason at all. And so, the cycle continues over the years. It has gotten better in recent years but it still happens every now and then.

I wish you all the best with your situation.
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Offline GenSec

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Re: Depression and Intermittent Explosive Disorder
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2011, 05:12:50 PM »
Mmm in fact i was a bit mistaken (must be repressed memory lol) but my father was also quite physically agressive, wrecking doors and punching holes in walls and stuff, very controlling and manipulative.... so as you can imagine, when my mother went off on one and he also took off, the arguments were explosive and yes, the could - both - get physical at times. Not nice.

However, i see that my mother suffered from a mental illness from many years due to bad experiences in her life, and so i do not blame her, she brought me up as best she could at that difficult stage in her life.
Try to understand, although from reading your post i think you already do, that your wife is also suffering very badly in her life from this medical condition that is no fault of her own. Deep down however, i am certain your wife does remember her actions during her episodes, but she just feels such a sense of shame and guilt over her actions during them that her way of coping is to pretend it never happened.

Again, all the best.
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Offline jud88hanne

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« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2011, 09:33:58 PM »
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Offline abeja_reina_1989

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Re: Depression and Intermittent Explosive Disorder
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2011, 11:17:32 PM »
I've never heard of Intermittent Explosive Disorder, but I wonder if I have a bit of that because I randomly freak out.. it's like the anger takes over and then later I can't believe what I did. The things I say or do seem so out of character. I think doing some research is a wonderful idea, or talking with a therapist and seeing what you can figure out. You could maybe even go to therapy with her to show your support.

Hope that helps :)
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