Member Gallery    Games   Member Groups   Member Blogs   Health News    Bored?

Author Topic: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!  (Read 38258 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Lanie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 546
  • Rec's: 4
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« on: November 05, 2010, 11:55:35 PM »
So I got a new job and I'm starting on Monday. After a very long (and stressful) interview process (2 phone interviews, HR interview and tests, and 2 in-person interviews), I snagged the job. My future co-workers invited me to one of their meetings this week in order to get to know everyone better before I officially start. It was a very warm welcome and everyone seemed really excited to have me on board. I wasn't even as socially awkward as I thought I'd be, though I did ask a couple of newbie questions which were totally standard and yet I feel like such a newbie/idiot/weirdo for asking them...(one was about the dress code and the other was about lunch hour/cafeteria options at the company)

I am SO nervous and anxious that I don't know what to do with myself. I have been going over my notes from the interviews and the meeting in order to freshen up on the tasks expected of me and what the office environment will be like. I won't have office ***** yet and for the first few days a girl will be training me (essentially giving me her old workload, which will now be mine). I feel really awkward and bad for having to take up so much of her time to train me, though I know it's completely expected of her and she probably doesn't mind.

I plan on coming into work on time, being polite to everyone I meet, and taking lots of notes and asking lots of questions regarding how to do my job properly - basically trying to be the ideal new worker for the organization. But I just can't shake this feeling I'll be a burden to everyone around me. That no one will like me because I'm new and need to ask lots of questions in order to learn my role better. It's also a "role-in-progress" so I was told many of my job responsibilities weren't properly defined yet and I needed to be flexible. For some reason, I'm really afraid I will completely mess this up. That everyone will think I'm incompetent and clueless and that I was a waste of a new hire =(

I hope this makes sense. Has anyone ever felt this way as a new employee? How did you handle it? I can't believe I start 2 days from now, and I am literally trying to hang onto these last few free days before I start...just trying to hold onto time as much as I can. I'm both excited for and dreading this job at the same time :(
Bookmark and Share

Offline joegilbert

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 552
  • Rec's: 4
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2010, 08:30:01 PM »


First of all, everyone including non-anxious folks are nervous starting a new job. That's totally normal. Stop having the "what if" conversation with yourself. It's totally useless and of no value. Focus on the positives of the new job instead. It's normal for new  employees to have to have some new mentoring.

Enjoy the new job and have fun!
Bookmark and Share

Offline thinker247

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 184
  • Rec's: 1
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2010, 11:23:44 AM »
Hey Lanie,
You are going through a very similar experience that I have been going through myself lately. I have just started getting back into the workforce lately and I can tell you that I am constantly concerned about the evaluation people will have of me. It's a symptom of social anxiety (I believe) and it is very annoying and very persistent. However, I can tell you that compared to when I got my first real job a few years back, I am a lot more comfortable in the professional setting and I can deal with the pressure much better now. It still bothers me, but it's better. Now, I don't know if this is your first "big job", but it sounds like it might be and, I think that as you said, part of your anxiety is excitement. Knowing that, I think that you have to go with this anxiety and let it project you, move you, motivate you into this exciting and motivational experience that you are about to embark upon. I hope this helps because I really fear for you. Some days I show up late to work because I can't stand to be so anxious there unless absolutely necessary. My situation is different, though because I'm in a temp job that doesn't tap my potential at all. Anyway, I believe you will do fine once you are there and in the moment. In the mean time, distract yourself and prepare accordingly. Good luck!
Bookmark and Share

Offline constantmover

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1072
  • Rec's: 58
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2010, 12:09:18 PM »
The emotions you are feeling are completely normal and I really mean normal. Everyone feels the way you do on their first day of a new job, hell it can last for months with some people.  You know and I know that they don't expect you to walk into the job knowing it all.  That is why they will have someone to ease you through the process.  Don't be afraid to ask tonnes of questions even if you think they may sound stupid.  The person who asks lots of questions, learns the most.  I have a daughter who has been very successful in her career and has just made another switch.  She has always asked tonnes of questions and felt like a complete idiot at times (so she tells me), but in the long run, she has always become one of the top performers and that is because she was willing to ask the potentially dumb questions that others wouldn't because of feeling like an idiot. 

You will do fine.  Starting a new job is nerve-wracking but also very exciting.  Use that energy to help you learn and immerse yourself into the job.  It sound like the employer isn't exactly sure about all aspects of the new position, so they will be kind of dumb about it too.  That could work to your benefit.  You may actually come across as a genius because some of the questions you ask they may not have even thought of yet.  So, take the opportunity to listen, learn and enjoy.  Being a part of an new concept (new position) can really help your career move forward. 

Good luck and make sure you arrive on time, with a smile on your face and wearing something that makes you feel good because if you look good, sometimes it helps you to feel good too.
Bookmark and Share

Offline ShineyPenny

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 3
  • Rec's: 0
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2010, 09:35:04 PM »
Ever "new guy/woman" is going to have some type of burden on the more experienced people- it's expected and they've done the same thing.

Know this- What you feel is normal, don't stress it.  They were in your position when they got hired.
Bookmark and Share

Offline Lanie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 546
  • Rec's: 4
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2010, 08:43:23 PM »
Thank you so much for your responses :happy0151: I did see most of them before I went into work today and they were definitely a mood booster. I appreciate it!

So today was my first day. It was A TON of notetaking. I don't think I've ever taken so many notes in my entire life in one sitting. It was very hard to remember everything though...can't tell you how many times I mixed up the information with people (okay, not that much but still! lol) The organization I now work for is incredibly busy...so many projects and people and e-mails coming in and out of the office. Lots of people work there and there are actually hiring a bunch of new people soon. Things are always changing (even during the day, things were getting moved around and it was hard for me to keep up). The girl training me was SO NICE and helpful. She introduced me to people, showed me around the office and surrounding buildings, and sat patiently as I wrote everything down. She even told me she expected that I ask the same question 50 times and to get things mixed up. She said it took her a long time to get up to speed with everything, and luckily she would be around for many more months to help me with anything I needed.

My fellow co-workers and bosses were also very friendly and helpful. There were a couple of new people (2 months so far at the company) who told me they were still learning and working out their job responsibilities. The entire company is re-organizing so it's widely known that everyone is stressed and trying to get their changing roles down...so I'm not alone :winking0008: Even though I still have anxiety and fear about the job, I do feel a little better about it. I just have a lot of social anxiety issues to work out...and I'm still a bit of a perfectionist. I need to let that go though and take it easy :yes:

My head is swirling so much that I can't even look at my notes right now...and my co-workers actually told me not to. "Enjoy your evening! Take it easy, you'll do great here! Don't worry :happy0151: We were all you at some point." So I think I will take a nice long bath, drinking a beer, and go to bed early tonight to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Thank you again for the kind words and support, I really appreciate it  :nature-smiley-016:
Bookmark and Share

Offline Lanie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 546
  • Rec's: 4
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2010, 10:21:33 AM »
I wish I could hold onto those happy feelings I felt a few days ago :(

Tues and Weds were much more difficult. Today I have the day off because of Veteran's Day. I have been worried about this job on and off ever since I started interviewing for it. There were a few things that didn't sit right with me but I kept pushing them to the side because I needed to take whatever job I could get. My mom was pressuring me for money to help pay the rent...so I took the job despite all my misgivings.

Well, the people there are so nice and helpful...They treat you like you are part of the team, not a 9-5 slave. Things don't seem too stressful there for now. But...I don't think I can do this job. It's too administrative for me. It's not really fulfilling. Not to mention the fact that what seemed to be easy is actually pretty hard. There are so many different ways to do things, according to the situation and paperwork that needs to be done. I take a lot of notes but I go home confused by it all. The girl training me is nice but yesterday she seemed too eager to start passing things onto me - things I had no clue what to do! "Here, work on this and then I'll come back in a bit." What?? I don't know what this is! She did it to me a couple times and each time I had no idea what to do...she would come back and then apologize, saying she shouldn't have done that to me. But then she would turn around and do it to me again. She also sat me down at her computer and made me write her e-mails for her. This was humiliating, because I had no idea who I was writing or responding to. She hovered over my shoulders and told me exactly what to write for her! Ugh, not helpful at all.

Then I got an e-mail last night from the girl who is training me asking me and our boss to follow up with some person on Friday. The girl and my boss are out of the office all day Friday and I have no idea how to follow up with this person. I have to hope that at some point today that my boss will take care of it. If not, on Friday, I will have to try to figure it out...somehow...I have no clue what to do about it! :sick0002: The girl training me is again, very nice, but...I can tell she wants to push everything on me right away (because I'm replacing her and she's moving onto another position). She's seems awfully eager to give me everything, despite me not knowing yet how to do things.

This job isn't what I expected it to be at all. My boss even asked me that yesterday. I had to grit my teeth, smile, and say "Oh yes, it's everything I thought it'd be! No problems at all." The more I talk to people, the more it's not 1 person I'm directly helping...it's 2...3...4...and growing! I didn't expect that I would be helping so many people when I took on the job. I'm just so miserable, confused, frustrated...How did I let this happen? I should have only applied to jobs that personally interested me and not just any job that was field-related :(

Quitting isn't an option at this point...I took the job and I have to stick with it...Not to mention I have a fear of failure. Quitting this job would be a major failure for me....Has anyone been in a situation like this? How were you able to just go to work, do your best, and then not take it so hard and personally at the end of the day? I wish I could just shrug it aside but I don't know how to...
Bookmark and Share

Offline constantmover

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1072
  • Rec's: 58
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2010, 11:03:41 AM »
Lanie,

I think we need to talk.  May I pm you?  What you are experiencing right now is something that someone I know went through and because it is a delicate nature and don't want to reveal who it is, I would rather tell you what she did in a private message. 

What I will say though, try and tough it out for a while.  It is obvious this company is disorganized right now and the person who is supposed to be helping you is under the gun to get her stuff done.  I kind of expecting this might happen considering the lack of organization while they are going through this change.  Often when this happens, everyone is just doing things by the seat of their pants with the hope that the end result will be a good one.  I have more to say about this, but would rather do it in a pm.  You deserve to know how to handle this situation which in my mind shows a lack of proper procedures in place to make transitioning seamless.  It may show that you don't have well equipped people in charge. 

As far as going into the meeting is concerned, take what information you do have.  Let whoever it is in the meeting do most of the talking, take notes and if you are asked a question that you haven't an answer to, then just say, "You know what, I've just started here and I'm still processing alot of information.  Having said that, I don't have an answer for you right now, but will get back to you as soon as possible with that answer."  That is all you need say.  For that girl and her boss to through you into a meeting when you have barely started shows poor managerial skills.  They may be doing it to test you but that is unfair at such an early stage OR they just want you to become familiar with these people in the meeting so that you can form a relationship with them going forward. It maybe just a getting to know you kind of meeting.  Whatever, I still would like to fill you in on my take on this and how it was handled by my friend. 

Let me know if you want me to pm you or just pm me and I will definitely message you back.  This sounds just too familiar for me to let go of and for you to lose sleep over or have high anxiety about.
Bookmark and Share

Offline Lanie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 546
  • Rec's: 4
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2010, 11:19:28 AM »
Hi Constant! Yes you can PM me. Usually I have the PM off because I am a very shy and private person and not big into PMs on my community forums/message board. I just switched it back to PM-on option though. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me about your friend's experiences. Thank you!

I think I will try to tough it out for a while...Right now I am re-organizing my notes, and I feel better when I am doing that. The organization is really disorganized right now and going through a lot of changes. My co-workers told me this is actually the worst time for me to start, because it's always super busy before the holidays begin. They are mostly grant funded, and some major grants are coming through next week...which means there may be many new hires coming on board within the next few months. They are actually looking into hiring ***** consultants to try to figure out how to use their ***** better to accomodate these new people. We are also running out of storage ***** and there may even be legal issues surrounding our keeping of certain data! Eek!

That's really good advice about getting back to this person on Friday, especially if my boss doesn't respond to me by the end of the day on Friday. There was no reason to dump that e-mail on me when I don't know what to do or what it's about. The girl who is training me keeps forgetting that I don't know what's going on yet and I need more time to ease into the role. I understand she's busy and preoccupied (she looked so stressed out yesterday I felt bad for her) My boss is very nice and is attentive to my concerns/needs/etc but she's hardly ever around. Always in and out of meetings. Some days she even works from home. But she told me she would be sensitive to the fact that I will need extra help and communication the first few weeks...and she told me I can call and e-mail her whenever with questions...so let's see if that works out well in the long run :P

I guess I just have to follow my mom's advice "Take it one day at a time and do the best you can" I guess I have to also see it as a learning experience, whether good or bad. I will look out for your PM, thanks again!
Bookmark and Share

Offline constantmover

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1072
  • Rec's: 58
    • Poke This Member
Re: Starting a new job on Monday - Nervous!
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2010, 10:32:13 AM »
In stead of just addressing Lanie's particular issue, I thought I should maybe give some insight to all those people out there who are in new jobs or want to be in a job and fresh out of college or university.  These are just my own thoughts from years of experience, but having said that, take it for what it is.  This is not meant to be directive, just thought provoking and hopefully helpful for you to make your OWN decisions with your future.

It goes without saying that the first job you get most likely won't be your dream job.  Generally, it takes years to get that, so sometimes you just have to take a job that you may not love, but hopefully like, to take the steps to get that dream job.  There are some employers that are very understanding and helpful when someone is new and others that expect you to jump in with both feet and expect you to swim to the top.  The latter is the kind of employer that is very unrealistic.  If you find yourself with this employer, just do the best you can and try to hold on until you can find something better.  Hopefully you can catch on and figure things out to stay long enough to put the job on your resume.  Gaps in a resume are always suspicious to a future employer.  So, if you are really unhappy in the job, it is much better to try and stick it out until you find another one...try and find something about the job you do like. Having said that, if a job is literally making you sick, then get out of it because nothing is worth risking your health.  If your anxiety gets in the way of your ability to interview well for a new company, then it might be best to take a break, regroup, sit down and figure out what your next move should be. 

It is important to understand the skills that you have to offer and match them to a prioritized list of jobs that interest you.  Go out and do some volunteer work while you are waiting for that all important job.  It looks great on the resume and sometimes it connects you with people who know of a job that might suit you. If you can volunteer in an area that interests you, that's a bonus.  A friend of mine couldn't get a job as a teacher, so she volunteered at a school and when a position became available, she was in the perfect position to apply and they knew her work ethic, so naturally, she got the job.   Networking is key and as you go forward in your job and life you will come to recognize this. 

Don't dismiss a job because it's not exactly what you want. It may lead to a job that is more interesting to you.  In this economy it is hard to find work, so often people have to take something that isn't the most interesting, but if you do a good job, it can lead to something more to your liking.  As Lanie's mother said "Take it one day at a time and do the best job you can."

Find outside activities that you enjoy especially if you are in a job that you find either boring or creates anxiety.  To stave off depression or to quell the anxiety, having something outside of work to look forward to, is so important.  Also, you never know, your outside activity could lead to meeting new people and more connections can help with finding another job that would be more suitable.  I know of tons of people who have found jobs through networking this way.  One of my friends got so burned out in her job that she quit and joined a gym.  She made friend there and when one of the other members found out that she was looking for work, she new of an opening and my friend was no longer out of work and had an amazing job.  Again, I don't recommend that you quit a job before getting another, but she was at the point of a breakdown and so she tossed in the towel on a very lucrative job and spent her days de-stressing at the gym.  She was lucky, it worked out for her...not only did she get a ridiculously well toned body out of it, but she got a great job too. 

Anyway, I know there is a lot of repetition in this message, but I want you all to realize that others have been where you are and it has been a challenge but it also, has worked out.  I hope this has been helpful to, at least, some of you out there who are starting or wanting to start climbing the rungs of the ladder to corporate success.  It isn't easy, but with the right people working with you and support behind you, it can be a really interesting ride.
Bookmark and Share

Tags:
 

anything