Sorry for the delay, I tried keeping away from the internet this weekend.
Gridder: It was a big cookie! Not just a little oreo or whatever, it was a big one but yeah... you'd think THAT would have made me feel crappy too. I haven't been diagnosed as pre-diabetic but that's what I feel like is happening. I guess you could call me obese, I am now 217lbs at 5"8. I try to exercise 4 days a week but haven't exercised for over a week now, before then I hadn't in a while. So no, I don't excerise. And no one in either side of my family has diabetes, but I feel like I've got it! I asked my doc last time about pre-diabetes and he said I wasn't in the range, I wish I would have got numbers. I have had 3 sets of blood tests in a year and I am fairly certain he checked my blood sugars on the other two tests (one was a physical) so hopefuilly that would have shown a trend.
I'm really not sure what the hell is happening to me anymore. I sit here at work thinking constantly about having diabetes and then come back to the realization that this all started from watching an episode of Oprah about diabetes. It's the craziest thing how this show triggered this whole anxiety respone and it hasn't left me, but has gotten so bad that I am under the impression every minute of every day that I have diabetes, even AFTER seeing my doctor AND having blood tests.
You'd think with that in mind I would be able to relax, but I can't. Last night we had pizza for dinner and the whole time I am thinking "here come the carbs, get ready to feel like crap" so I have it already built into my head that the food will cause some sort of symptoms after I eat. Sure enough, 15 minutes after eating I feel super tired like I could just go right to sleep. Instantly I am back to feeling like I am full fledged diabetic, I am tired and *feel* trembly, but I am not actually trembling or shaking it just feels like it (and if I am, it's very minor, probably normal little twitches and shakes one gets)
So now I have a food phobia, and I expect every time I eat that this will happen. I am hesitant to go back to my doctor considering he ordered blood tests and all came back fine apparantley. I still worry as to why he didn't do a fasting glucose though. I didn't eat anything the day of my blood tests and he did a random glucose, so if I hadn't eaten perhaps it wasn't showing an accurate reading, maybe it's higher than I know.
I am at a loss here, my mind and body is so beyond exhausted from anxiety that I am not sure how much more I can suffer through. People have suggested getting a glucose meter, but then many say I shouldn't given my anxiety. Kind of like my high BP, some say get a cuff, while others completely advise against it as it will only make matters worse. I don't know what to do.
I'm afraid to eat, and it's silly. Things aren't getting better like they should have, they keep getting worse and worse (AFTER blood tests!!) I am pretty sure I have now tied carbs to anxiety, or bread to anxiety , etc..
I'll be seeing my doctor sometime at the end of this month for a prescription re-fill, I wonder if I should just hold out until then. Blah! Happy Monday!!!