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Author Topic: Emotions and Feelings (Relationships)  (Read 1973 times)

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Offline gazza_n

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Emotions and Feelings (Relationships)
« on: November 10, 2006, 11:23:16 AM »
Ive had anxiety over a year now. But ive never felt this way and im just wondering if you think its got to do with anxiety. Ive been with my girlfriend over 7 months now and i loved her to bits. i woke up one day and my feelings just felt different for her. I know with anxiety sometimes your emotions come and go. But since then thats all ive been worrying about shes come my anxiety now. And i dont love her anymore. Its not like i dont want to love her. She meant so much to me. I dont know why this has happened. when i speak to her i try to act normal but it just dont seem right talking to her. Like it used to. And doesnt feel right when im with her. deep down when i think about it seems right but it just dont i cant explain Lol. Its just a weird feeling ive got. Its been going on over a week now. it dont go away. And i dont know if its going to. Sometimes all my feelings come back and im happy then 10 minutes later or something they could all go again. I only have to think about my anxiety about her and it all starts again. i dont want to finish with her thats the last thing i want. But i dont want to hurt her. Shes the only girl ive ever wanted. It makes me angry that i cant get my feelings back for her. Then it feels like im going to cry. I dont know if any of you understand this. But thought i would post to see what everyone thinks.

Thanks
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Offline pinky5

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Re: Emotions and Feelings (Relationships)
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2006, 12:07:26 PM »
Gazza_n,

 :sign0016:

Hi. Sorry you're having a rough time in your relationship right now. It's really hard to manage anxiety and be stable in a relationship. It takes some work.

If you've been together for 7 months you are probably getting to the end of the honeymoon phase. Right about now things don't look so perfect in the relationship and the other person is probably starting to get on your nerves a bit. This is just a normal part of relationships. Maybe this is or isn't the person for you right now, but you don't want to let anxiety make that choice for you.

Try to get a little distance for yourself while you figure out what is going on. Go away for a few days if you can, or just a weekend. See if you miss her and how you feel. Go and talk to a therapist, if you're not already. They can give you a lot of clarity, in even a couple of sessions and can be very helpful if you feel like you aren't seeing things clearly.

Some of us anxiety sufferers have extreme emotions that can be disturbing and upsetting, especially if you are trying to be a loving person within a romantic relationship. I know I have felt loathing, rage and hate for those who I love the most. It's upsetting.

When you are in a relationship, everything that you don't want to see about yourself is reflected back at you through the other person. If you have anxiety, this can be too much to deal with sometimes and you might find yourself pushing your girlfriend away so you can go numb again. I know I have done this. I find the happier the other person is the more I want to push them away or tell them to **** off sometimes.

Relationships can be a challenge for even the most well adjusted, so it's no surprise that anxiety sufferers might be having a hard time in this area. Just find a good therapist that can help you with your issues, so you can be present and loving in whatever relationship you choose to be in.

Rachel
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Offline jerryilliniwek

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Re: Emotions and Feelings (Relationships)
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2006, 10:37:52 PM »
Gazza_n,

 :action-smiley-065:

Sorry about the tough times you are having.  There's nothing really unusual about the doubts you are having about your feelings.  With the anxiety mixed in, things are just that much more difficult.  As pinky5 recommends, talk to a therapist about it.  A good therapist understands anxiety and are familiar with the typical phases we go through in a relationship.  They can give you some perspective and comfort that will help you find your way through the situation. 

In my past, sometimes I tended to push people away before they had the chance to reject me.  I'm not suggesting this is what is happening, but keep reminding yourself that you are a good person and that you deserve a good relationship.  This person you are sharing a relationship obviously sees you as worthy.  It is always hard at this point in a relationship, because it's when we start to realize that we may be getting serious about a person.  Hey, that's perfectly normal. 

JerryIlliniwek
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"My hope is to give someone the kind of support that I received from my therapy group in May,2003.  None of us could stand by themself, but we all stood together and faced our fears. Especially my friend Rick, who walked into group therapy with me for the first time, and pretended not to be afraid."

Offline mca1975

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Re: Emotions and Feelings (Relationships)
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2007, 07:22:50 AM »
hi everyone, im so glad to have found others with the same problems. my relationship is a constant struggle in my head even though there are ACTUALLY no problems! I am constantly in doubt and worry excessively to the point of a panic attack as to whether I really want to be with this person. but when faced with the fact of being without them, I cant bear to be without them.

Please reply, as I woudl love to discuss with others the sorts of feelings/emotions you get to see if they are similar. my emotions are so strong and they take me over like a tidal wave, but the one thing I have managed to get in place as a coping mechanism is that they do pass and all is well again.

thanks
mca1975
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Offline Samba

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Re: Emotions and Feelings (Relationships)
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2009, 02:20:31 PM »
Mca... im going through exactly what you explained!

Im constantly proving the anxiety wrong, like everyday but then ill argue in my head for no reason about wanting to be with her etc, its crazy!! Doesn't stop me from wanting to be in a relationship but i don't enjoy the relationship as much therefore i don't fallin 'in love' with the girl im with... even if i love her im not able to keep the feelings consistent which does not make sense at all!!

I know where it has come from, i had problems with my sexuality which caused alot of discomfort but now i know im 100% straight... looking bak my sexuality was an anxiety thou so im thinking gettin bit of help with this problem!! Its alot better than it was 6months ago because i understand the problem and no what it is but it shouldn't be there... it really doesnt make sense at all :S jus stop me from relaxing and enjoying life!!

I've gone from worrying whether my gf's like me to the complete opposite, crazy stuff man!!! Ive only had it bad for like last 7months but i noticed it a lil bit over a year ago!!

Any progress guys?! Im thinkin the Charles Linden method, if that doesn't work them im really scared on whether ill enjoy my life at all sooooo advice from other people and sharing idea's would help!!!
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Offline Searching4Answers

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Re: Emotions and Feelings (Relationships)
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2009, 10:23:30 PM »
I am going through something simular right now with my boy friend. He has completely shut me out and has asked me to be patient with him as he doesn't want to lose me. I am so confused that he has shut me out...

Look at my post "desperately in love with a wonderful man......"

Maybe you can help me.
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Offline forwells

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Re: Emotions and Feelings (Relationships)
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2009, 08:05:26 PM »
hi gazza_n

    ""Its just a weird feeling ive got"  Mate its like the pink elephant The more you try to stop thinking about it the more you will.

  If you love her which by your post you do Just let it go its just a overworked mind playing tricks

 I had a thought of knifing people once and this spin me out for so long but it was just a thought i would never do it.

 Your mind has 1000s of thoughts a day we just dwell on them ,most we never remember.  let it past and move one ,

 The hardest thing with this thing is to forget , sometimes its like we feel we have to feel bad 

Married 11 years and beleive me at times you get on others nerves.   It has its up and down.

cheers kev
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Anixety has no power , it lives only by the power we feed it . If we dont feed it it will die .

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