Ok so Irrational Thoughts is one of the things we deal with here. I wanted to get a discussion going on the types of thoughts we have HAD or have about our anxieties and what exactly causes us to have these "knee jerk reactions
" as my therapist told me last night. I'm not trying to preach or coach because I'm going through the same thing everyone else is here, but if we could get a positive discussion going here I think it would be a nice tool for people to come back to and read and read and read to finally say "Well BLOODY HELL, I GOT IT!
" well I would say bloody hell but you know what I mean :)
As we all know a lot of us seek constant reassurance even though you have gone through all the loops and bounds of the medical system, mri's, cat scans, this scan that scan even those bloody painful ones lumbar punches.
. One thing that struck me last night when I was speaking to my therapist was that she people with anxiety we develop "knee jerk reactions
". We are afraid... well what are we afraid of?
I can say I'm afraid of having some disease and death, well that is something out of my control and that scares me. Even though I've been to the doctors and told I'm fine.. I have a hard time accepting it. Why? I don't know I'm figuring that out.. but what I do know is that STRESS doesn't help you or me. Stress and Anxiety are hungry beasts that feed off our fears and that is what fuels them.
A example of this is, I had a tension head ache and stiff neck, so what do I do.. I go online and google those sensations / symptoms see what I think is wrong. I'm not a doctor how would I know. Everything is so vague online.. it's absurd. I do this because in my mind I can say ah I know what it is.. it's a tumor. Seriously W T F ? talk about irrational...
But instead of me being more Psychological and saying "oh well I did just work in a office for 13+ hours sitting down I wasn't taking any breaks, I'm coding and yeah my boss is out for 6 weeks so I'm in charge.. not to mention someone thrashed my car now it's in the shop and I'm driving a shitty rental car."
But now I'm more Physiological about things and putting a mechanical, physical, and biochemical function on what I'm feeling. I need to think about THAT one thought and grab it and really think about how irrational that thought process is. I think a lot of us have trained our selves to do that because it's easy and we want an answer to be able to say "SEE I TOLD YOU SO" or "I knew I had this that or the other" We need to break that habit and refresh our minds and break away from this type of behavior. I've probably stated a lot things people have already stated but I do hope we can all find resolve with this inner battle.
Since May I've gone from liver cancer, pancreatic cancer, bile cancer, hiv, brain tumor, menegitus, all sorts of stupid crap but I can realize how anxiety can cause things to go from one thing to another. Absurd! I'm not recovered I'm still trying to figure out what's causing me to feel this way and worry and I can see that there is light at the end of the tunnel but there is a journey to get there.
I catch my self doing things all the time. I see my self going to google and starting to type something then going.. what the ? or sitting down and my leg shakes and that's nervous energy.. so I need to be able to break those habits to make me refresh my mind and step away from these habits.
I hope we can all find some resolve and have something positive to add!