OCD and Guilt

[DismantleRepair]

Up until a week or two ago I haven't had constant worry and intriusive thoughts since winter.  My mind usualy starts really running when I'm unhappy or lonely or in an unfamiiliar place.  It always seems like whenever I start entering this state of mind there is this one tiny thing that sets it all off.  For example, two weeks ago looking at my eye in a miror and being concerened about somehting I saw in my eye.  I go and get it checked by the doctor and he tells me that I'm fine.  For any other person it seems like this would be enough to make the worry subside, but for me? Nope.  For some reason it's like my mind isn't satisfied with this and I continue to find other possible things wrong and then they lead into different topics of worry until my fear are so irrational and so ridicuoous that it's embarassing.  Also, in addition to all this my mind tends to pull up old memories that I had forgoten.  I start so obsess about the bad times past in my life and I feel overwhelm,ing guilt and I feel like I am going to be punished for things that I let happen and that there is no hope for me. 

Can anyone relate to this?

[GerryH]

Greetings

I can relate to this.  Just recently my doctor told me that he found a "gray" spot on my lung.  He ordered a CT scan and I was a fricken mess until the day they did my CT scan.

They found this "gray" spot about a month ago and I had to call Kaiser to schedule a CT scan.  Well, the next available slot for me to get in was two fricken weeks later!  Talk about mental hell!  I kept calling Kaiser every single hour and seeing if they had a cancellation that would allow me to get in sooner - I kept thinking the worse - "what if I had a tumor? cancer?" - this was making me a fricken mess....turned out it was nothing....

I'm much worse with my wife's health issues - every single time my wife has an issue I panic - I immediately think: "oh God, she's going to die..." - when I can't reach her on the phone, either by home phone or cell phone, my mind immediately thinks she's either in car accident dying, or has been raped, etc....

When these thoughts first come into my mind I immediately tell myself: "Okay, it's my OCD that's giving me this hell, I know nothing is wrong" ---

It takes time to cultivate this pattern of inserting this message into your head when you feel a thought coming, but the more you do it the more they subside.

Actually, we obsess over 97%-99% of stuff that never happens - when your doctor said your eye was okay believe him, or, if you really want to convince yourself, get a second opinion, this will most likely satisfy the fact that you are really okay.....

Good luck my friend, it's a fricken drag, we all know it who suffer with OCD ---

Peace

[DismantleRepair]

Thanks so much for the advice! :)

[Durrells Roadrunner]

yes i can relate to you like 101%
i am getting help at present so i cant offer any advice myself right now but i can say take some comfort your not alone x