Am I?

[Emily]

Hi. I am Emily. I suffer from Panic & Anxiety Disorders. I started taking Paxil about three years ago for these two disorders. I decided I wanted to stop taking Paxil in November due to the depressed feelings it gave me. I have now ONLY been taking my .5mg of Lorazapam daily since then. I feel like I may have depression, but I thought I would come here before talking to my doc about this matter, because I may be way off. So here's what's going on with me.

I can't sleep at night, this has been a problem since birth. I was abused in the womb. My family & doctors think this may have something to do with that. So I end up sleeping in much of the day. I wake up tired, I hardly ever feel rested! I don't work rightnow because of the Panic stuff, so I spend much of my days just trying to get to the next without feeling crappy. I gained 45lbs while I was on the Paxil. I have since lost 22lbs. of that weight. I thought maybe I felt tired all of the time because of the weight that I put on? I feel worse to be honest. I feel heavy all of the time! Like I can barely move my arms and legs. I don't do much during my days. I am afraid to be alone, but I push myself until I can't take it anymore, then I call somebody to pick me up and stay at their house until my husband is off work to "save"me. I want to do more with my life. The passion IS there. But with the Panic/ Anxiety, I feel hopeless. It scares me when I start feeling REALLY badly about my life. I am afraid of depression. I have always been such a busy body all of my life up until Paxil. I was thin, always on the go, never able to stay put, and now it seems "staying put" IS my life. Any opinions would be great to hear. I just want to know if maybe I sound like a candidate for depression in the major? I hope it's a spat of something I can work my way out of, but if not, I can't handle living like this much longer. I may be forced to take the dreaded meds that made me miserable in the first place.

Thank you for listening to my story.

Emily

[apple]

Emily you suffer as I do. 
I cant get to sleep at night and it doesnt matter how much or how little sleep I get, I feel weighed down, legs feel achy.  I want to do lots but I feel so crappy I cant get in the mood to do it.


I do believe its depression, more because of the anxiety tho.  It tough livin with anxiety.  I have GAD, panic, and seasonal anxiety.  I hate it, I hate the meds, I feel guilty that my family edures me.  I'd say that would put anyone into a little depression.

I find for myself that the meds make me feel far worse then I already do so I stay away from the anti-depressants and use anti-anxiety meds and anti-psycotics when I need to.

I think you should talk to your doctor about how you feel...and tell him what worked but that you felt bad and maybe he can find something else that could help you. 

Good luck to you...please let me know if you fix this awful crappy feeling, I'd be very interested in how you did it :)

[Emily]

Apple my friend.. You always have such kind things to say to me! I agree that the depressive mood I have been in is from my panic. It's hard to go from having an active lifestyle, to sitting on your bum all day because you are afraid of basically nothing in reality. I HATE it! I don't use that word either! I will overcome this crap someday!! I PROMISE!! I am getting to the point where I am starting to push my limits because I am sooo frustrated with not having a life and making my husband miserable. I will talk to my doc. I have been thinking of trying klonapin (SP?) for awhile, maybe that will help.. I will most defiantly keep you posted. Thank you for always responding to my posts Apple. It means a lot to me

[apple]

I take klonapin (clonazepam).  What a great drug!!  It doesnt make me feel wierd or anything, Some people get tired on it but when they cut it in half it works pretty good for them.

I had a real hard time getting other doctors to perscribe it for me, as they worry about the "addictive" effects.  Everythings addictive!!  

I hope you try it.  When you want to do something or go out, just take it 20 minutes before hand and it should stop the panic before it starts.

Good luck sweety, I'll be here rootin for ya, let me know if it works :)