I do feel for you. as I said, It sucks when anxiety has you around the throat like that.
If you keep shooting yourself in the foot, the foot can't heal. Same goes for getting mentally healthy. If you continue googling, seeking endless reassurance, monitoring, self testing, you cannot heal. There is no way around it: Getting better requires doing positive/proactive things LONG term.
if you haven't already, read the links on my profile.
Good luck and be well