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Author Topic: Looking for support (ladies over 40)  (Read 244 times)

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Offline Josie57

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Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« on: September 04, 2014, 01:06:33 PM »
It's so hard for me to have to come back here for support.  Not because I'm not grateful but because it's a reminder that HA continues to have a hold on me.  I've been doing so well for a long time and I've gotten better at keeping it at bay despite encountering things that at one time easily triggered me.  I'm 45, female and my main fear is cancer (breast, skin, ovarian mostly and sometimes lymphoma, thyroid and other head/neck cancers).  Back in May I started having a slight twinge in my left side pelvic area and when I finally paid attention to it I started poking around and pressing on the area.  This made it worse and created mild pain and tenderness.  Since then the sensation/pain has come and gone and I had been attributing it to the fact that I've gained weight and my pants were too tight (not sudden weight gain).  Then the triggers started coming and after the 3rd one I couldn't hold back the fear any longer and here I am.  I started thinking about the fact that I've not been to my OB/Gyn in 4 yrs and that I started skipping my period (1-2x per year) at 43.  I've now gone full blown ovarian cancer and I'm non-functional.  I realize the simple answer is to go to my doc and get a check but I'm terrified to do it.  I'm scared to find out I have OvCa and that I'm going to die.  And the reality is that even if I get an "all is ok" then I still may not believe it.  I assume it could strike at anytime but without a family history and the only symptom being mild, intermittent pelvic pain is it even realistically a concern (aside from the HA)?

I hadn't really given it much thought back in May or even as it persisted because it was so mild and wasn't constant.  The other day, after wearing ill fitting pants the pain came back, and I'm 6 days past my period being due.  I've convinced myself I'm going to die and cannot bare the thought of leaving my 7 yr old son.  I'm not looking for reassurance but I am looking for support.  I'm so tired of what HA robs from my life and the fact that I'm so scared to be happy or to fully live because then I'll definitely die.
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Offline TyeDyedButterfly

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2014, 01:43:15 PM »
Hi Josie,
I am 49 Ugh lol but aging happens and with aging comes many changes and yes gaining weight can cause some issues also wearing tight clothing does in fact push in on the fat and muscles also tendons and more .

Also at your age you could be in the beginning stages of Menopause yes I know not a fun thing to think about but with what you wrote it could very well be that so make an appointment with your Obgyn and get your hormones checked out you need a pap anyways and a mammogram .

Do what you can to not wear really tight clothes I hate gaining weight but I have and as we age it is harder to take off but it can be done .

Peace
Tye
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PEACE, LOVE AND HAPPINESS !

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Offline sixpack

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2014, 02:05:27 PM »
skipping periods 1 or 2X a year is almost certainly the beginnings of peri menopause.  Since I was 47 or 48, I started  skipping a period now and then.  Actually I would have 3 normal cycles then skip one then have 3 normal ones again.  In the last year I've begun hot flashes on the "skipping" cycles.  Yah me!!  My breasts get sore like they did in my late teens due to hormone issues.  I was just chatting with a friend of mine, who is in her 40's, today about sore breasts and she has the same thing.  so don't be surprised if it happens to you. Gaining weight is part of the 40's.  things that used to work to lose weight often don't work well.  Tight clothes can make things tender.  Also, remember, that sometimes we just get weird aches/pains that mean nothing.  Last month my lower left had a deep pulse twitch type thing.  It seemed to be where my ovary was.  thing is, I had just been to my gyno, so I knew things were really all right down there.

Thing is, hon, you should go to the gyno, not because I think you have something wrong but because we should just be proactive about our health.  This isn't a "reassurance" doc visit.  This is what we do to make sure things don't get out of hand.   :yes:   I know you are scared because it has been 4yrs, but you have to start somewhere, right?     so yes get your boobs squeezed (ugh I have to make my appointment) and have your annual gyno exam.   I don't necessarily think you need your hormones checked.  I never have and I am 50 and my doc sees no need to do blood work.  I mean it is a foregone conclusion that women our age are going to have these changes.  :yes:   :winking0008:

I think you are fine.  Your body is doing what our old bodies do.  It is a natural thing.   ;D
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline ceh1354

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2014, 02:07:07 PM »
Hi there, I can totally relate. It very hard to remain calm with all of the changes going on in our bodies! I would also recommend going ahead and getting a gyn exam. NOT because I think anything is wrong! Just because the longer you wait and with all the changes and "stuff" happening, the more upset and scared you're going to be. Get it over with so you can go on and begin trying to work on your anxious thoughts.
Last year I had skipped 4, almost 5 years of paps. I finally scheduled and all was fine. It was worth some anxiety just to get it over with.  So just go so that you can find out you're fine!
You'll find a lot of us girls here in your age bracket to support you!

Feel better! :winking0008:
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Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devilís schemes. Ephesians 6:11

Offline Josie57

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2014, 02:11:04 PM »
thanks ladies...i am definitely going to go but I'm struggling with the anxiety.

not high chances someone my age has OvCa though right?  what else could cause mild, pelvic pain?

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Offline sixpack

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2014, 02:30:32 PM »
thanks ladies...i am definitely going to go but I'm struggling with the anxiety.

not high chances someone my age has OvCa though right?  what else could cause mild, pelvic pain?

ovarian cancer hits women at different ages.  there was a member here who is ovarian cancer survivor.  She,as I recall, was in her 30's.

However, this really has nothing to do with you.  Remember your fear of cancer  doesn't equal you having it
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline Slangevar

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2014, 02:37:24 PM »
Welcome to perimenopause!  I've had one-sided pelvic pain since I was about 40 (I'm 42 now) and have had innumerable ultrasounds and even an abdominal CT scan. They found some free fluid by the ovary that comes and goes with my period and cysts that come and go. I get cysts on both ovaries these days, but the pain and fluid are always on my right side. My doc says it's either adhesions that aren't showing up in the scans and/or retrograde menstruation.

My periods had always been like clockwork until I hit my 42nd birthday, when they started swinging from 22 days to 56 days. I just skipped my second period ever. When I skipped my first period, I had the same symptoms as you - it was like the worst PMS ever, but then no period for weeks until I got the mother of all periods. It was easier this last time.

I think my gyn would tell you that you should get a check-up since these are new symptoms, but that these symptoms are very consistent with perimenopause. So make the appointment, but don't stress about it.
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Offline ceh1354

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2014, 02:48:53 PM »
Oh my gosh, what down there doesn't cause pelvic pain and discomfort at our age!! So common. Cysts were what caused it for me, big time. And yes, I freaked until I had an ultrasound and my doctor told me how much more common plain old cysts were vs. oc. Waaaay more common. I still get them a lot and don't think a second thought about them. But hormones is another big one. Relax about that, we've all got this to one degree or another.
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Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devilís schemes. Ephesians 6:11

Offline Josie57

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2014, 02:53:21 PM »
thank you, thank you...it makes me cry to feel so supported.  It gives you the strength when you can't find it in yourself.  thank you.
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Offline ceh1354

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2014, 02:58:25 PM »
You're welcome! Glad we can help! :grinning-smiley-003: :loveface:
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Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devilís schemes. Ephesians 6:11

Offline Josie57

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Re: Looking for support (ladies over 40)
« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2014, 10:00:35 AM »
as a short-term follow up....today I got my period.  I know that not only can this make me hyper-anxious but it can also cause pelvic pain.  I'm still not flying high but I'm more centered than yesterday.  I'll make my ob/gyn appt for next week (after my cycle is done) and make sure to get all my concerns addressed.  I know that will potentially only give me peace of mind in the short-term but it's one more step towards taking control of my health and taking more away from the health anxiety beast.
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