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Author Topic: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.  (Read 452 times)

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Offline marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2014, 01:13:14 AM »
Thank you :)
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Offline fishmanpa

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #16 on: September 04, 2014, 09:59:27 AM »
Firstly I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. Besides a rather rampant case of HA, you have a family situation that's far less than ideal and causes additional stresses in you life.

That being said, there's something very interesting in your post. Marie, you post almost daily about your fears. Despite reassurances from members, doctors and tests, you can't seem to break free of the grip anxiety has on you.

However, your Mom throws up her hands and starts going along with your fears and guess what?... All of a sudden you're the one reassuring yourself! You're the one saying the rational things that everyone else has been saying all along? Coincidence? I think not.

I have to be honest, there are times I've read threads from members that are fixated on a disease and nothing anyone says, nothing a doctor or tests say will reassure them. I'm tempted to do just what your Mom has done and agree with them. "Yep... it's "pick your disease". Dr. Google is 100% right! Ohhh sweety, I'm so sorry to hear this :( " Obviously, that's just mean and not what the forums are intended for but it makes me wonder if that approach would yield the same results. Would it be enough of a cyber slap upside the head to awaken the rationality that is buried behind the fear and anxiety?

So, as everyone has said, you can choose to believe the irrational part of you that keeps sending you into the spiral of fear or you can choose to believe the rational part of you that knows deep down you're physically fine and begin to work on what you know deep down to be true.

Positive thoughts
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"Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings in your life. Live. Love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest doesn't matter!."  King Solomon.

Offline ShawnW

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #17 on: September 04, 2014, 12:37:47 PM »
I won't really discuss the breast CA issue as you have answered your own question.  But, I will ask you what keeps you involved in toxic relationships?  I realize there are two sides to every story...but if your interactions with your mother are the way you say...they are bordering on abusive.  Do you live at home?  If not, then what keeps you interacting with her?  Why call?  Why see her?  Just because someone is blood doesn't give them the right to be abusive.  Set healthy boundaries.  If you are financially dependent upon your mother, find a way to make yourself financially independent and set healthy boundaries.  You can set the rules of interaction and when she steps across the line, there is nothing saying you have to speak with her.  Remove yourself from the situation.  Surround yourself with people who love and support you.  We teach people how to treat us.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #18 on: September 04, 2014, 12:54:43 PM »
Thanks so much both of you. Today my armpit and arm is a bit sore but I'm gonna hope its ovulation pain o sleeping on it funny because I did not have it until I worried about this lump again.
Fishmanpa, you're right about that actually. Its up to me now to make this better for myself.
And Shawn, I agree with you as well. I do not live at home anymore and am not dependent on her but I have also been trying to pull away from her contact wise for some time. She gives me a lot of grief..and I have to set specific boundaries. The reason I haven't so much is because she threatens me and I am afraid of her to some extent. Like the hitman threats or even her coming herself, camping outside of my new location or something of the sort. And that she will tell my friends or something lies.
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Offline ShawnW

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #19 on: September 04, 2014, 02:54:01 PM »
Thanks so much both of you. Today my armpit and arm is a bit sore but I'm gonna hope its ovulation pain o sleeping on it funny because I did not have it until I worried about this lump again.
Fishmanpa, you're right about that actually. Its up to me now to make this better for myself.
And Shawn, I agree with you as well. I do not live at home anymore and am not dependent on her but I have also been trying to pull away from her contact wise for some time. She gives me a lot of grief..and I have to set specific boundaries. The reason I haven't so much is because she threatens me and I am afraid of her to some extent. Like the hitman threats or even her coming herself, camping outside of my new location or something of the sort. And that she will tell my friends or something lies.

Wow...ok if all of that is true...I want to bold my previous post.  She is holding you hostage, and it is indeed abuse.  If your mother is threatening a "hit man" then she isn't right in the head.  Who says that to their child?  Personally, I would let the local authorities know.  I would have an answering machine and let her ramble, take it to the local authorities to get a restraining order.  Cut her off, call her bluff...or let her proverbially hang herself with her actions.  Before she is allowed back in your life...she gets professional help.  No compromising.   
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #20 on: September 04, 2014, 08:58:43 PM »
Thanks Shawn I agree. I need to follow through.
Well I got my ultrasound referral today. Doc wasn't worried (I had to get a referral Cuz I moved to a diff city). He said in general my breast are kinda not fully smooth but lots of woman are like that and my docs always said that ever since I found the lump. So i m realizing the odds are aatronomoical for it to be cancer because in young, had an ultrasound 6 months and every 6 months before that since I was 15 that showed no change, my surgeon who is well known and actually dealt with one of the only cases of childhood breast cancer )8 years old), so did my surgeon and another doctor as well. I kinda just wanna get this sucker out. 
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