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Author Topic: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.  (Read 376 times)

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Online marie204430

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Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« on: September 03, 2014, 08:32:16 PM »
Let's just say that me and my mother don't get along. She has been really angry at me lately and to spite me, she has been throwing in my face the fact that I deal with hypochondria and is bringing up some of my issues and saying "You probably do have that!".

When I was about 15, I found a lump in my breast. My doctor didn't freak or anything and sent me for an ultrasound. They basically said its a slightly atypical fibroadenoma. 99% its not cancer supposedly from my well known pedatrician and another well known surgeon. They told me I can take it out or just monitor it every once and a while. Either way was fine. I was scared of surgery at the time so I decided to just monitor. So since then, every 6 months I would go for an ultrasound. It was always the same size, it feels the same and it basically fits every characteristic of a fibroadenoma. One ultrasound place was pushing for a biopsy but it was a place I didn't really like so much and the really well known one in my city where I was keeping up with the ultrasounds (the one monitoring it) were content with my decision and so was my surgeon and doctor.
So now my mom is throwing in my face that I probably have cancer. I know better in a way because I do know that if I had gone like 3-4 years without treatment, something would be suspicious by now. Plus, I had the word of many doctors and ultrasounds always showed no change. Plus fibroadenomas are extremely typical in young girls.

So now I am due for my next one sometime soon and I'm freaking out. I've also switched doctors since I hit 18 and she tried to say there was no reason for more ultrasounds because she felt it and said it was a fibroadenoma as well. But now..I'm just second guessing everything. I'm terrified again.

Any ideas on what I should do?
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Offline Slangevar

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2014, 09:10:03 PM »
If you look at the facts in your post, you answered your own question.

1) I suspect like many people with HA, you try to "convince" the people around you that you're not imagining your worst fears. Your mom has had it with being told you have terrible illnesses, so she's decided to tell you you're right. It's not a great response for someone with HA, but it's a place that our loved ones frequently get to. The important thing is: She's not telling you you have bc because you have bc... she's telling you that because she's fed up. 

2) Yes, fibroadenomas are common in young women. Much more common than bc.

3) If you had a palpable bc tumor that had been untreated for 3 years, it would either be huge or you would be dead. It hasn't grown in 3 years - if it looks like a fibroadenoma and it doesn't grow like a fibroadenoma, it's a fibroadenoma.

So you have two choices: You can get your regular ultrasound, which will show no growth, or you can trust your doctor that's it's a fibroadenoma. If this doc is a gynecologist (which you should get sometime soon if you don't have one already), she can also switch to a clinical exam once or twice a year to assess if it changes (which it won't).
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Online marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2014, 09:19:17 PM »
Slangevar, thanks for the response. Although the one part I know is not true (which I don't expect you to know) is that my mom is doing this just because she is sick of hearing about it. I do not speak to her much at all, especially not hypochondria. We do not get along whatsoever because she is a mean spirited person overall. She just knows I deal with it as I mentioned it once years ago. She has done some awful things to my family in the past including lying that she had a stroke and that my sister was in the hospital just because she wanted attention and sympathy. She says you probably have cancer hahaha! And some weird crazy things.

And you are right. My last ultrasound was 6 months ago and showed zero changes whatsoever and to me, it feels the same. It has always been on the larger side and I assume I would be feeling awful symptoms or like you said, dead, if I had such a large tumor.

The other one thing that freaks me out is that sometimes, the nipple on that breast becomes inverted. But I can pop it out. It is not a constant thing at all and I believe I have had it ever since I had the fibroadenoma. I do know breast cancer can cause this..but can a fibroadenoma as well?
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Online marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2014, 11:24:29 PM »
Does anyone else know!?!? Please. I'm going to throw up from worrying.

I posted on a breast cancer forum..yes wrong idea and someone told me this is how they were diagnosed. 5 years of thinking they have a fibroadenoma. Omg I'm terrified..
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Offline StrawberryCraze91

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2014, 11:34:30 PM »
Marie I used to get all kinds of weird pains and bumps when I was a teenager(I'm 23 now).  After an exam by a doctor I was told I just have dense lumpy tissue.  To this day I still get odd pains and sensations, usually right before and during my period.  Breast cancer awareness and screening are huge, so most doctors are on high alert for any bumps reported.  If they thought it was something suspicious they would order more test and a biopsy.
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Pslam 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

Isaiah 54:17
"No weapon that is formed against you will prosper"

Peter 5:7
"casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."

Online marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2014, 11:43:20 PM »
Thanks strawberry, that helps. These issues with hypochondriacs do not mix well..

That woman that freaked me out is also 60 years old and had breast cancer before..so she is high risk when I am not. And her tumor even in stage 4 was 1cm. So hmm.

Also, I've read that the cancer that causes inverted nipples and stuff is a type that is usually not palpable or small even in later stages. Mine is quite large..around 4cm I'd say. And it has always been that way. so I assume if it was anything sinister, all this dumb something would have showed up, if not now.
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Offline Slangevar

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2014, 11:47:23 PM »
A fibroadenoma is a tumor - it's a benign tumor, but still technically a "tumor" - so it can produce the same symptoms as a breast cancer tumor. If your nipple has inverted since you got the fibroadenoma, then it goes along with that.

Have you ever thought of having it removed?  I'm not sure how good your health insurance is, but it's not a complicated procedure. I had a lipoma removed from my breast when I was about 27 - it's scary, but I felt much better once the thing was out of my body.

If that's not an option, just continue to ask for periodic ultrasounds. Like you said, if it's not growing, it's not cancer.
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Online marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2014, 11:53:34 PM »
Thank you slangevar!! That helps a lot. That's what I assumed as well..its the tumor itself that causes the inverted nipple, not cuz its cancer. ANd my fibroadenoma is right at my nipple. Its been inverted for long and it only recently clicked to me about what it could be. My right nipple is also fairly inverted as well so they may just naturally be like that.

And I have. I was just scared at the time when i was 15 because I did not want to be put to sleep. But I want to do it for sure now and stop worrying about it completely. I hope to have it removed soon.
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Offline Slangevar

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2014, 11:57:43 PM »
:-)  I was scared of general anesthetic, too (though I'd had it as a child), so I opted for a local anesthetic. Yep - that's right - you can have something like that removed from your breast with only a local anesthetic. It felt BIZARRE... almost like they'd opened up a giant, painless flap in my breast and were sticking their arms inside, but I wound up joking with the doctor through the whole procedure. And when I was done, I was shocked at how small the incision was... it felt enormous during the surgery, but it was less than an inch long - you can't even see it now.  So if that's what's stopping you, just know that you can request a local.
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Online marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2014, 12:14:16 AM »
Really??? I'm going to ask for that for sure then haha. It was what was stopping me at the time, so that helps a lot again. Thanks a bunch slangevar!! I'm beginning to calm down again.
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Offline cali4niay

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2014, 12:16:49 AM »
The biggest issue I see here is the relationship with your mom. Wow! I'm sorry she treats you that way and you're going through this!
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Online marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2014, 12:22:53 AM »
Thanks cali4niay. Yeah honestly..I feel like when my hypochondria flares up, there is a new major issue with my mother. I unfortunately am not close with either of my parents so sometimes I need someone to talk to and turn to my mother and she throws it in my face, like she did right now.
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Offline cali4niay

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2014, 12:26:13 AM »
Do you live with her? Yikes! You do sound well-adjusted despite this. Must be difficult.
I assume you prob think twice before opening up to her.

Why is she spiteful with u?
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Online marie204430

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2014, 12:48:13 AM »
No I don't, which is the reason I think she is so angry. She was always hateful and controlling, but it has spiraled out of control now. If I'm gonna get detailed, she has threatened to hire a hitman and PI to bring me home,  has lied about having diseases/family members dying to make me move back, lied and said doctors have called me to tell me I am dying, etc. She is very irrational. I recieve around 100-400 texts from her a day being yelled at how much of a disgrace I am. Its an awful nuisance.

And yeah, I've learned my lesson about opening up to her. Like I said, I'd get desperate sometimes and turn to her but I realize now its just ammunition for her to use against me in the future.
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Offline cali4niay

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Re: Mom is trying to scare me about breast cancer.. its working.
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2014, 12:53:02 AM »
Wow Marie, my heart sincerely goes out to you. I can't imagine having a loved one be so manipulative as that, let alone throw my HA in my face.

My goodness, it must be so tough!
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