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Author Topic: How to trust the doctor?  (Read 166 times)

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Offline tsewang

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How to trust the doctor?
« on: September 02, 2014, 01:13:46 PM »
Hi everyone,
I wrote a long post yesterday but I really wanted to get to the point on something that's been bothering me.  I suffer from HA around a fear of HIV due to the fact that my husband works at a tattoo shop where he occasionally experiences needle sticks and other exposures to blood.  A few years ago, I myself was stuck with a used tattoo needle and spoke to the head of pathology at a great hospital about my risks.  He told me that I was not at risk for HIV due to the fact that tattoo needles are solid and HIV dies quickly outside of the body--he said to not worry.  My husband was recently stuck by a needle and he isn't worried, but I am.  I have been googling for a month, and everything I found confirmed what the doctor told me--no recorded cases of transmission through solid/tattoo needles, not enough fluid for transmission, no statistics on rates of transmission (because it hasn't happened), etc etc.  But I still have a hard time BELIEVING IT.  I feel a bit crazy at this point.  How can I learn to trust the doctor and finally feel relaxed again? 
Any support would be appreciated!
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Offline sixpack

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2014, 03:32:24 PM »
First of all:  Lots of HA people ask this, among other things  :happy0151:  but this is one of those  "You could be a redneck" type jokes   ONLY it is called   "You could be a hypo if _____"   

By this I mean  your query is such a common refrain around here.     

what would I take from a comment like that ^^^^^?    I would say, "Okay worrying how to trust a doctor's word pretty much means my thinking is disordered.  I have a thinking issue."   :winking0008:   Sure there are rubes for docs and some docs make mistakes...actually all docs do from time to time.  BUT only hypos would ask "How do I trust a doctor?"  The general public accepts that doctors are here to help.  When asked questions or are presented with a patient with x, y or z symptoms, they WANT to fix the issue.  They don't want to make mistakes.  They generally are good, moral people who are good at their jobs.  Plus they are careful because they don't want to get sued.

So  1.  remind yourself that 'regular' people generally accept a doctor is here to do the job right.  If you are continually obsessing the opposite, then you need to recognize your thinking is the one that is incorrect and is TRULY part of the disorder that needs to be addressed.

2. AND looking practically:  ask yourself if aren't going to believe the doctor, then why bother wasting your time and money and the doctor's time?



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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline sixpack

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2014, 03:40:59 PM »
adding to my last post.

I am sure this isn't the exact answer you want.  but as often goes with anxious peeps, we want "do these steps  just like this and the problem will be solved"    However, well, there are no easy answers here.  Thinking disorder "fixes"  requires, truly, a change in thinking habits, retraining the way we think and how we react to situations.  This is one of those long term projects for sure. 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline ColdHands

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2014, 04:58:33 PM »
I personally have had some real boneheads for doctors, so I get it that some may just pass you along and not pay attention. 

But what the last poster said is the truth.  Most docs will do tests to cover themselves and if you have HIV you will know by a test.  But the thing you have to look out for is the ones that will do nothing with OBVIOUS abnormal readings.

Now, fellow HA sufferer, I don't mean something that is 5 ticks above or below normal.  I mean a trend of elevation, that continues to rise or lower and you have REAL symptoms.  This can be hard to realize.

But if you don't have any of that going on, you need to trust your doctor. 
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"There is just one more thing that bothers me."  Columbo

Offline sixpack

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2014, 05:33:55 PM »
Quote
  I personally have had some real boneheads for doctors, so I get it that some may just pass you along and not pay attentio

I agree there are, as mentioned in my other post,  some docs that are rubes.     but just a little snarky note from sixpack,  :winking0008:  :sprachlos020: :laugh3:  ------  were the docs you called 'boneheads'  really 'boneheads' or was that your conclusion coming from an anxious mindset.  :winking0008:   :angel-smiley-006:

I am mostly kidding BUT a part is serious because we anxious often filter so much through an anxious mindset that not all of our conclusions are really reliable.       For instance:  some anxious peeps go to doc repeatedly and repeatedly thinking they have HORRIBLE disease X or Y and then it turns out that it is a cold or stress.  But somehow the doc is a jerk because he rolled his eyes  or refused to do an expensive or invasive test.   OR a doc has an anxious patient  who is demanding to be seen RIGHT NOW because of some issue.  the doc has seen all of the prior emergencies of this patient that turned out to be something pretty much 'non-emergent' so doesn't clear a spot in the schedule until the following day or two or three.  BUT, this time it turns out that the person actually had a serious medical problem.   Is this sort of situation really or completely  the doctor's fault?    I ask because---yes a doctor must practice medicine responsibly  BUT patients should also behave responsibly too.

again, I am not gigging  you.  I know there are some bad docs out there. and some wouldn't care about letting abnormal stuff go by.  but that is really an aberration.  there are also some overworked docs out there pretty much on their last nerve.   Which could  make them 'miss' something.  Most, however,  are good/competent docs who are doing their jobs the best they can and unless there is REAL evidence of malpractice should be given the benefit that they know better than us..

   

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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline ColdHands

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2014, 05:49:58 PM »
No, I have reason to say "boneheads". 

My Autoimmune liver disease was ignored for several years by two different doctors.  The doc I have now was appalled how long it took them to do some serious tests.  I am now stage 2 in a disease I maybe could have stalled in stage 0 or stage 1. 

But on the other side, my mother's life was saved by several great doctors.  I have played the reassurance game before, but this time it was real.  I may have been the boy that cried wolf, but when levels are saying certain things, you really need to test them.   But I am not someone who makes tons of appointments and asks for tests of nonexistent issues.  When I got an answer, I usually took it.  I'm one of the folks that avoids the doctor for the most part
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"There is just one more thing that bothers me."  Columbo

Offline sixpack

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2014, 06:13:11 PM »
No, I have reason to say "boneheads". 

My Autoimmune liver disease was ignored for several years by two different doctors.  The doc I have now was appalled how long it took them to do some serious tests.  I am now stage 2 in a disease I maybe could have stalled in stage 0 or stage 1. 

But on the other side, my mother's life was saved by several great doctors.  I have played the reassurance game before, but this time it was real.  I may have been the boy that cried wolf, but when levels are saying certain things, you really need to test them.   But I am not someone who makes tons of appointments and asks for tests of nonexistent issues.  When I got an answer, I usually took it.  I'm one of the folks that avoids the doctor for the most part


Okay  I will agree you had a couple of idiotic ones begging for a malpractice suit.   

that is terrible.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline tsewang

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2014, 07:22:02 PM »
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, sixpack!  I try to tell myself that, that the "average" person trusts what the doctor says and keeps it moving, that a doctor wouldn't offer information that is blatantly wrong or questionable just because.  Plus, the doctor I saw was in a very high position of authority at a well respected hospital, so I rationally know that he knows what he's talking about.  I just keep second guessing myself because I check Google and read something like: "tattoo needles can (theoretically) transmit the virus, etc etc" and then completely doubt what the doctor told me :(  This is causing me a lot of suffering.
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Offline sixpack

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2014, 07:31:47 PM »
that is why google is verboten.   end of story.

that is why sixpack is KNOWN to smack peeps around when they do that.    :yes:

truthfully looking stuff up online for a ha person is pretty much :dopey thing to do.  It ONLY harms you.  Yep lots of people  say "I know but I can't help it" sort of things.   well, okay, peeps can say that.  If, however, that reactive behavior is continued,  then don't expect to reduce your anxiety.  because it isn't going to happen  99% of the time.

Anxious peeps have to really KNOW that if they keep shooting themselves in the foot, the foot ain't never gonna heal.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline Raaawr

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2014, 08:02:52 PM »
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, sixpack!  I try to tell myself that, that the "average" person trusts what the doctor says and keeps it moving, that a doctor wouldn't offer information that is blatantly wrong or questionable just because.  Plus, the doctor I saw was in a very high position of authority at a well respected hospital, so I rationally know that he knows what he's talking about.  I just keep second guessing myself because I check Google and read something like: "tattoo needles can (theoretically) transmit the virus, etc etc" and then completely doubt what the doctor told me :(  This is causing me a lot of suffering.

Sixpack is full of anxiety wisdom.

Google is the food you feed your anxiety. Honestly if you stop Googling for a week you will find yourself worrying a WHOLE lot less. Look around the forums and you will see how many people simply recommend you stop googling. Why? Because it works. When you google something, anything related to health you only add things to worry about. You pick up these little symptoms and you wont ever forget them. The next time anything minor happens you will jump to the conclusion of the obscure fatal disease you researched.
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Since July 23rd 2014 I have had;
Brain Tumor, 5x Heart Attacks, 2x Blood clots in leg, 1 blood clot in Arm, 2x Appendicitis, Pulmonary Embolism, Brain Tumor, Internal Bleeding, Ebola.

Offline tsewang

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Re: How to trust the doctor?
« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2014, 08:33:40 PM »
Hahaha, thanks guys :)  I actually feel just a little bit better...I need to just let this fear go and accept that the doctor is trustworthy and that's that!  I will try to not Google for a week and see how I feel!
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