Hi, I just want to start off saying I usually don't have any sort of anxiety. I have periods when I get stressed, particularly about approaching deadlines for big projects or starting grad school, but usually I don't feel much anxiety (not even when publicly presenting). The first time I ever had a really bad attack was in high school; I'd begged and persuaded my parents for months to get a dog and they finally consented, but on the day I was supposed to get her, I was distraught and crying all day and we ended up not getting her. Just thinking of the pressure of the responsibility had sent me into hysterics, so even though I love dogs, that was not the time.
7 years later I'm in a much better position to get a dog, so I found one I love and went to pick her up today! I was feeling fine all day, nothing more than a bit or nerves which I chalked up to having to meet with the person and hoping nothing would fall through at the last minute. The drive home and the first hour at home were great. However that's when the problems started (and to be honest its only been about 6 hours since then).
I was hit with an overwhelming sense of anxiety, I was starting to regret my decision and dreaded having to take care of the dog. I called my mom to talk to her and was in tears for an hour. While this could be normal new owner nerves, as I mentioned before, I do not get anxious ever. I have recently moved to a new state by myself, started a job and am about to start grad school classes. None of this gave me any of the same sort of anxiety. When I was preparing to get a dog, I was nothing but excited and convinced I could handle any situation, going above and beyond to plan for any scenario. However, now I am feeling miserable, there's a constant lump in my chest and I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. While I love this dog (she's not a puppy by the way, she's a year old and super well behaved, so there's no behavioral problems that have caused me to have such a complete change of heart) I'm terrified of being solely responsible for her and I'm thinking we might both be better off without each other. I plan to wait about a week to see if things get better, or else I will contact the woman from the rescue I got her from and see if she could find a better home for her.
Is there any one else who has felt the same way? I feel absolutely horrible for feeling this way and I wish I could just be happy and excited, not terrified and sad. Please let me know if you have any advice or have felt this way before and what happened. (Please be nice, I already feel terrible and don't want to be told I'm selfish or anything).