I agreed that anti-anxiety meds are really needed by many people. I usually take Ativan if I am going to be in a situation that I know will trigger my anxiety, i,e. dental visits (although I just found a great dentist who has helped me immensely with this fear), mammograms, xrays, etc.
If your gyn said not to take them, can you see a different doctor, perhaps a psychiatrist, who might have a different opinion? My prescription is through my regular family doctor because seeing a psychiatrist is very expensive and most don't take health insurance.