I have been dealing with severe anxiety and depression for the past 10 years,I just recently (past 2 years) have started having obsessive intrusive thoughts that seem to occur when I start feeling anxious/on edge. Thoughts about bad things that I want to happen to me (But not really, I dont want to be thinking these thoughts in the first place) and then after having such thoughts, I get an extreme panic attack out of fear that what I thought is going to come true. It is really scary and just recently has gotten much worse, to the point where its racing bad thoughts and the only thing to calm my mind is to take my clonezapam. I want to go on an anti depressant to even out my anxiety, but because of past bad experiences with meds, I am reluctant to try another one. I guess I'm just at a loss : ( and just wish I knew why these thoughts enter my mind :[ Any insight would be helpful. thanks.