well i never really talked about this to much with other people other then my last boyfriend because we shared the anxiety attack thing,
its been a year since i started having anxiety,
and my fear is still the same, some unreasonable fear of heart attacks,
im a pretty healthy girl, once i got anxiety that is
but before i really didn't know about DV% and healthy eating, i figured as long as it wasn't junk why not? but then i got anxiety, and strong anxiety attacks,
now ill tell you a little about my past so it kinda of makes sense, i was homeless for a long time, from 12-19 so it was a highly stressful lifestyle, and i started doing drugs and drinking alot and acting in risky behavior, theft crime, ext. as i grew older and grew up i calmed down and stopped doing a lot of it, when i turned 19 i stopped all the hard drugs i was abusing. I thought it was the start of something fantastic i was clean i was doing well, by the time i was 20 i got myself a good boyfriend, we lived together and we were going to get married! i was exited. at this time i still smoked alot of pot, and drank a lot, ive always had small pains? i guess in my body , bladder and tummy, but i ignored most of it.
but one day (the day i finally got it) it was a few monthes after my 21 birthday, we had gone out for a Vietnamese soup called bumboway or something like that when we went home my boyfriends dealer came over and we smoked a joint, i thought i heard some cops outside (weirdly) and said i was done and didnt want anymore so as i opened the door and walked out of the bedroom, it happened. now i have bad vision (glasses user heyy) haha, but as my foot stepped out of that room, my eyes suddenly became super clear, i could see and hear everything in HD it was weird!, and i could suddenly feel my heart beat thudding so loud and hard in my chest, my arms and legs went numb and i was freaking out!! oh my god what is wrong with me?!!? i paced around the room trying to calm down but i had no idea what was going on, i felt so weird was i having a heart attack? a stroke? was it the food? was that stuff laced? when my boyfriend and our friend came down i started to pull on my boyfriends shirt and said theirs something wrong with me, he kind of laughed and said no calm down your ok, your just high, but my vision was really freaking me out and i could like SEE HIS PORES super good like im not even kidding it was like super vision! i kept pulling on him and he was getting annoyed i told him im not kidding somthing is very very very wrong, and he went to tell me to be quiet and i burst into tears and threw up all over the floor. they put me to bed and from then on was complete hell,i was babysitting at the time and i felt so bad for the kid i was crying and couldnt eat shows scared me, i could function, i called and told the mom i had to leave she asked me what was wrong and i explained it to her she said it sounds like anxiety i said anxiety? whats that? and she explained it to me, doctors told me the same thing, and told me i couldnt fix it its all i my head,
my last boyfriend and best friend has it to, he coached me, and helped me, i dont cry anymore, i dont have full blown attacks anymore. exept when i drink to much, but i quit everything now i smoked for 12 years and quit on a dime, i dont drink, i dont smoke pot, and it all helped.
but its been one year and im a lot better,
but here is my question.
im thinking about medication. for these. left over feelings ive been having.
i get pains in my arm, my chest and legs, i feel like im choking on nothing, i get waves of feeling uneasy,
i know their symptoms, but i get them all day everyday, and sometimes i feel ok, but most of the time i dont i feel like crap, i may not suffer from full blown attacks anymore,
but i cant possibly live life, feeling this way right? does this go away? is it mind over matter?
will medication help? even though i made it so clear to my doctor i did not want to take them?
any help or advice would be so much appriciated
ive delt with it for so long but cant bear to think i have to live with these pains and obstructions forever